My Body, Your Body, Any Body

Today, my dad and I went to Detroit to see Our Body: The Universe Within. It was pretty fascinating. I will admit, when I first got in there, I was a little grossed out. But eventually I was able to look past the obvious grossness and think about the fact that I was seeing what I, essentially, look like on the inside. I think that eventually classrooms will have tools like these. It gives you a newfound appreciation for what your body can do. It looks delicate and tough all at the same time. I urge everyone, if they get the chance, to check this out.

After the exhibit, my dad took me to a Coney Island for chili dogs. Not just any Coney Island, mind you, but the one my parents went to when they were young and still in love. It was right across the street from the hotel they worked at when they both met. The hotel isn't there anymore, but the Coney Island remains. It was a pretty good chili dog too. And some good fries.

Tomorrow, I am off the shop a little. Have to exchange some Christmas gifts, have to get some Christmas gifts. I also have to find a birthday gift for my nephew. I've already found my dad a birthday gift. Christmas ends...so should the present buying. But for me it doesn't end until February.

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year's.

Everybody's Working for the Weekend…

...Or at least I am. Even after a short week, I can't wait for this Friday to come to an end.

Have a good last weekend of 2007 y'all!

Lost Starts January 31...Here's a Preview

On the First Day of Christmas

1. I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

On the Second Day of Christmas

1. I don't mind the commercialism of Christmas. I just wish it didn't start so early every year.
2. I collect Santas, right? I've never bought myself one. They have all been gifts or hand me downs.

On the Third Day of Christmas

Three Christmas Factoids:

1. When I was 13, I had a really bad stomach flu on Christmas. Nobody could come over for fear of getting sick. I felt like I had cancelled Christmas.
2. I was always nervous to sit on Santa's lap. And after seeing "Bad Santa," I think I had a reason to be.
3. We never made Christmas cookies. We made apple bread, but not cookies.

On the Fourth Day of Christmas...

1. I gave my nephew Logan a goldfish for Christmas once. The fish was an 80 cent feeder, but Logan loved him. Logan's eyes were huge when he realized what it was and said, "This is mine?" He named the fish Dorothy.
2. The Christmas dance at my high school was both a formal dance and a Sadie Hawkins dance.
3. I was obsessed with the movie, "White Christmas" as a kid. I watched it over and over again. I would sing, "Lord help the mister, who comes between me and my sister and Lord help the sister, who comes between me and my man," over and over again.
4. I was afraid to stop believing in Santa because I was afraid I wouldn't get as many gifts.

One the Fifth Day of Christmas...

Five more factoids...

1. Growing up, we always put our Christmas tree up the Friday after Thanksgiving. It was the first time we listened to Christmas music and we always drank egg nog.
2. I hate egg nog.
3. My favorite Christmas carols are "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" and "I'll be Home for Christmas," two of the most depressing carols ever.
4. My mom put all of our homeade ornaments on our tree for years and years. And then she threw them away.
5. A couple of years ago, my brother made tsiziki sauce for Christmas Eve and we dipped everything (like pizza rolls and mozzerella sticks) in it. Everything is good in tsiziki, except shrimp.

On the Sixth Day of Christmas...

I give you six Christmas factoids about me:

1. When I think of Ebenezer Scrooge, I think of Donald Duck's uncle.
2. I was the opposite of most children on Christmas mornings. I slept late. One Christmas I remember my father waking me up and asking if I wanted to open presents.
3. My favorite part of the Christmas tree as a kid were the real candy canes my mom put on.
4. My mom never puts my name on gifts. They are to "Marie" or "Matilda" or "Maribeth" or something with an M. She started it when I was little so I wouldn't know what presents were mine, and it has stuck.
5. I watch "A Christmas Story" once during the 24 hour period it plays on Christmas on TBS.
6. I prefer green Christmas's to white.

Only Tuesday

Something interesting happened today.

If you remember, some time ago I had an interview for a job that was in downtown Toledo. I found out a couple of weeks ago that I didn't get the job.I wasn't heartbroken; it didn't really want to pay me as much as I wanted and it is in Toledo, which is not all that desirable to me.

There was an ad in the paper for a Marketing Coordinator over the weekend, so I sent my resume to the email address it listed. They called today and they are actually a staffing service looking for a Marketing Coordinator for one of their clients. Guess who their client is? Yes, it is the same people with whom I had an interview with in downtown Toledo. I told the women that I had already interviewed there, and so I probably am not a good fit for their company. When the other staffing company told me that I hadn't got the job, they told me the job had definitely gone to someone else.

Wouldn't it be funny if they kept advertising the job and I kept calling about it? Maybe they would eventually break down, hire me and give me the money I want.

###

Yesterday I was reading an article talking about the best and worst celebrities at signing autographs. Guess who was the number one worst autograph giver?
No.

No.

No.

I am just going to tell you, because you probably won't guess right.
It's Will Ferrell. Can you believe it? And apparently, he doesn't just rudely turn people down, he makes fun of them. This article kind of makes him sound like a dick.
I mean, I love Will Ferrell, I watch and enjoy ALL his movies. But, I don't think he needs to be such an asshole. I always pictured him as a super-nice guy. I've been feeling like I felt when I found out there was no Santa; as though my whole life has been a lie.

Life can be so cruel sometimes.

Winter Wonderland?

It is a glisteny, crispy day in Toledo.

The snow didn't seem so bad last night, but around midnight, the freezing rain freed itself, quite loudly. And then I went to bed. When I woke up, snow was falling. Snow, had fallen...around 3 inches. And then it fell until about 2 this afternoon. I bet there is the minimum 8" they predicted. Much better than the 10" to 12" maxiumum that was the heavy prediction.

Thank God Ashley changed her flight from today to yesterday. Thank God the new Subaru has all wheel drive. But I'll be honest, I am a yellow belly in the snow, all wheel drive or not, I wasn't going out today.

It made it kind of a stir crazy day though. I eventually busted out a bottle of wine. Well, I had to celebrate a new car, didn't I? If it wasnt' so cold, I would've busted the bottle against the car, like a christening or whatever.

Thankfully in my stir crazy snow day I've had some good movies. I've watched The Darwin Awards (not bad), The Nanny Diaries (better than I thought) Live Free or Die Hard (I hate Bruce Willis, but if you've seen the first three, you almost have the see the fourth and it's not bad, not bad at all) and the finale will be The Bourne Ultimatum.

Ahh, a snow, day, coming to an end.

Holy Shizer

I bought a car.

And It's Only Wednesday

I am under no obligation to buy my bosses Christmas gifts. But once you start, how do you stop? Thankfully, I never have to deal with it. Someone else in the office comes up with the idea and asks everyone if they would like to contribute and I do. It's not going to kill me and I don't mind doing reasonable things as long as they don't kill me.

This week is going soooo slooooow. I wonder if every week until Christmas will be slow. Well, I guess it's actually just the rest of this week and next week. But still, that is a long time. But I have gotten ahead. Presents bought? Check. Cards in the mail? Check. Presents wrapped? Check. Now all I have to do is clean my house for Christmas Eve and make some food, but that actually doesn't have to be done until right before Christmas Eve, so I have plenty of time to procrastinate until the last minute.

One thing I do hate about working in an office at Christmastime is the abundance of food. We get tins and tins of candy and cookies and I have no willpower. I eat it all day long. Or, some days I will decide not to eat it, I will decide to stay strong, and I do, until about 2 pm. Then I feel so hungry and I think, just a little piece of chocolate will tide me over. Just writing about it makes me think about it and want a piece… NO NO NO. Today is the day that I go through the whole day without one piece of candy.

ICE!

Today I got to use my heated ice scraper for the first time. I don't know if that is such a good thing. But I am not a frozen block of ice…yet. Tomorrow, the next day or the next day could be a totally different story. If nasty weather is starting this early in the season, I am going to be severely irritated by spring.

That is all I am going to write today. Everything else is also annoying me, and I don't want to drag you all down with me.

Stay positive and stay strong everyone, and if you want a good laugh, check out the video below.

If You Want to See Me Snowboard

Not Quite Christmas Tid Bits

You know, I do like Christmas. I like the carols and the cookies and the lights. I like my family traditions and although it is a lot of work to put up and decorate, I like my Christmas tree.

But I don't really like leaving my house for Christmas. There are just more people everywhere. Even grocery shopping sucks. And I never really liked grocery shopping to begin with.

I did leave my house yesterday to go to World Market in Ann Arbor to do some Christmas shopping. I'll be honest with you. I spent $65 and I only bought one gift. But I needed a new backscratcher. And I wanted one of those cool wine bottle openers like Murph's. And one can never have too many bottles of wine. And who doesn't want to try Butter Fudge (it wasn't that great though).

Well, I guess, Merry Christmas to me.

Trying to Learn a New Trick

I've never been a bargainer. I'm not sure if it is a part of my wiring. I don't go to flea markets and I am a little nervous to buy a new car.

But I decided to try a little bargaining.

I was recently head-hunted for a position here in Toledo. It would be a pretty interesting job, but they didn't want to pay me as much as I am making now. I don't want to stay in Toledo for less than I make now. That's plum crazy considering I'm not all that into the Glass City. But I decided to do the interview anyway because interview experience is always good.

When the headhunter called today to ask how it went and what my interest level in the job is, I explained, I don't know if I would want to settle in Toledo for less than what I am currently making and I do have a Master's degree that should be accounted for. And the say, "if the company comes back with a counter offer of $X, would you consider taking the position?" And I said yes. Wouldn't it be crazy if I got the money I wanted and a cool job?

I also have a phone interview later today for a job near Columbus. That I would probably take for less money than I making now (not a lot less, I'm no fool) because I would be able to relocate and start fresh.

Most likely, everything will blow up in my face and I won't get either job. That's cool though, I still have a job and I can save for possibilities I have brewing on the backburner.

Without Further Ado

My Thanksgiving dinner:

And for an added bonus, a weird picture of my nephews and niece:

The blur of hand in the middle really freaks me out.

Hope everyone is enjoying this holiday weekend.

This and That - Monday Edition

I broke down this weekend and turned on my heat. I had forgotten how nice being warm can feel. I am done freezing my ass for the season. I keep it really low, but bask in the warmth when the furnace goes off.

Thanksgiving is practically upon us. I think I might've looked forward to Thanksgiving last year, but this year I'm just not into it. I've been eating like shit ever since I got back from San Francisco and a holiday, in which the whole point is to eat, is not really what I need right now. But, Grey's Anatomy is supposed to be "shocking," so maybe I will burn some calories being tense about what is going to happen. And then of course I can burn calories laughing through 30 Rock and Scrubs. But not the Office, because their new episodes are done. I guess their writers started striking early.

I had a dream last night that my best from high school told me she knows and goes to dinner with Clive Owen. But, she said, "He's always on hallucinogenics." If this were to be true, I think I would love Clive even more.

My goal for the day is to stay awake during Heroes. Wish me luck.

What I am Doing at This Very Minute

So, I am still at work right now. At 6:21 pm on a Wednesday. I am here because we are having an open house and for the first hour of it, it has been kind of a bust. I didn’t really have an opinion on an open house; having one wouldn’t be a bad idea, but I wasn’t going to jump for joy at it either. So here I sit with the vice-president of operations and the retail guy and we aren’t really talking to each other.

I’m not really worried about it; I am 99.8% sure my job isn’t riding on the success of this event, but I don’t want to have to deal with aftermath of it. I don’t want to have to discuss what we could’ve done differently and blah, blah, blah.

I mean maybe in 45 minutes there will be a stampede of people wanting to come in.

But in the meantime, I am going to go help myself to some more havarti cheese. It’s good.

My Super Power is Sleeping

Early Monday morning, around 2:30, I woke up to the sounds of a car window breaking and I flew to my window to see what car window was breaking. I couldn't really see my car, but I did see three people who looked liked they were up to no good. I watched them and they were fighting and someone was having to hold someone back and then I heard this guy yell, "I hate you Eric," and it sounded like he was crying too.

I started thinking I should call the police, but then I got kind of nervous because my light was on and if they were crazy people and the cops came and the peopel in my parking lot remembered my light being on, maybe they would put two and two together, and come back for revenge.
Finally they came into my building and I watched them through my peep hole and from what I understand, one guy was SUPER drunk and had lost it and broke his own car window.

An hour later, when I was still awake, I wondered if maybe I should've called the police anyway. Just because they live in my building and eventually quieted down doesn't mean some serious shit can't go down. I just hoped I didn't find a dead body in the lawn when I left for work. Because then I would have to tell police that I had heard some stuff in the parking lot and the would be like, "Why didn't you call the police?" I didn't want to deal with that. Fortunately, no dead body.

And because of the above fracas, it was the second Sunday in a row that I didn't get very much sleep, making it the second Monday in a row that I slept through some of Heroes. And last night I really slept through Heroes, which pisses me off. It seemed like a really good episode and I tried; I would wake up, and tell myself I must watch, only to wake up 10 minutes later.

But the few things I did observe and think:

I still hate the Mexican twins, I don't care what their backstory is. Take your black, oily tears back to where you came from.

What is the deal with the blonde girl? She is also really annoying. I hope she dies.

And what is Nicki's power? I don't think a mental disease counts as one.

Movies and More

I watched Sicko, the latest Michael Moore documentary, over the weekend. I was hesitant to watch it because I hate the health care system. I think it actually strips people of their basic human right to get well. I think it is a scam. I think they are criminals. And Sicko pretty much agrees with me, except it displays those feelings in a much more entertaining way.

You know, so many people don't like Michael Moore and some people love him. I don't really have a strong opinion either way, but you have to admit, he knows how to make a great documentary that are always sad and always very funny. And no one is better at finding quotes and sound bites that people wish never existed (my favorite example is when a woman tells George W. Bush that she has to work three jobs to get by, he replies with,"Well, that's uniquely American, good for you.").

Anyhoo, it was a pretty good watch. Way better than Ratatouille, whichI also watched this weekend. My god that movie was sooooo boring.

And I had an awesome, awesome sushi dinner. Thinking about it now is actually making my mouth water now.

Have a good Monday everyone.

Road Rage in the Morning

I am an aggressive driver and I fully admit to having issues with road rage (although I have been working on this and I have gotten better, not perfect, mind you, but better), but I never really drive aggressively in the morning. I guess when I am going to work, it is just to early to care; I'm still 1/4 asleep anyway, and if I am running a little late (which as an extremely punctual person, rarely happens anyway) then I run a little late.

This morning I shared the road with a car that was full of piss andvinegar at 6:50 am. I turned down a road that has a short segmentbefore the next light, so short that you can't really accelerate too much, because you have to immediately put the brakes on for the red light, that you clearly see as soon as you turn on the road. This car behind me, the one full of piss and vinegar, a red Pontiac, he passed me on this short segment of a road, he was in a hurry I guess. But passing me did not help him at all.

He was stopped by the red light. And then we all ended up behind a very slow driver. And then another red light.

You see, this is why I have been working on aggressive driving and road rage. I saw other people acting like me and they look stupid.Which means I look stupid when I let my issues with the road get the better of me.

And who wants to look stupid?

No Hero Worhsip for Him

I am going to start a club called,

I hate Mohinder Suresh.

Seriously, what an effing pansy. I would rather keep the weird Mexican girl who cries black.

This Blog is Dedicated to How Tired I Am

It was bound to happen. All last week I couldn't NOT sleep. I took naps and went to bed early. I could barely keep my eyes open at certain points during the day. Yesterday I took three naps. I guess I must've slept as much as body would let me because last night I barely slept at all. I hope the same doesn't happen again tonight. I enjoy sleep. I need sleep.

I hung out with Mike and Sara this weekend and they kindly gave me a gift card to National Amusement Theaters. Usually we just get each other six packs of good beer for birthdays, so this was quite unexpected. I will have to step it up next year. Mike and Sara are also currently at the top of my favorite people list because they watch and love Pushing Daisies as much as I do.

Well, it's another Monday. I hope everyone enjoys the early sunrise and sunset.

My Body's Tired and Sore

I don't know why, but I have been so tired this week. I come home and take a nap and then I still go to bed early. I think it is because the time is changing later than usual and my body is wondering what happened to the extra hour I usually have by now.

A month ago or so, Ashley asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I suggested a yoga DVD. To be fair, she did ask me if I had any DVD in particular in mind, but I said no. I thought, I only have one and there are thousands of different DVDs out there.

Hilariously enough, of all those thousands of yoga DVDs out there, she managed to get me the one I have. It was cool though, she's a smart cookie, she got a gift receipt. I exchanged. Everything worked out in the end.

I did said yoga DVD the other night and holy shizer…it was HARD. I mean, I could do all poses, they were just done at such speed that I was sweating and panting like I was a doing kickboxing class. And I am still sore. Yesterday I could barely lift my arms above my head.

Maybe I am a masochist, but I like that kind of pain. It reminds that I did something good for my body, that I should do it more often.

Have a good weekend y'all.

My Time in Alcatraz: A Photo Essay

A view of the island on the way in:

The third place new inmates are sent (after receiving and getting new clothes):

SOLITARY:

The Yard (kind of small, n'est pas?):

A view of San Francisco from Alcatraz:

The "Escape from Alcatraz" heads (pretty much the only reason I went to Alcatraz). If you look very close at the bottom left corner, under the sink, you'll see the hole this inmate dug with a spoon to escape:

An up close of a creepy head. It's made with real hair they stole from the prizon barbershop:

A view of the Golden Gate from Alcatraz:

Celebrating My 30 Years On Earth The Best Way I Could Think Of

My day in Napa Valley was awesome, not just because I enjoy wine, which I of course do. And not just because it was gorgeous, which it was. It was awesome because it was my birthday. I implore you all to visit Napa on a birthday or be with someone on their birthday. It provides a lot of bonuses, that much is for sure.

I had recently been in the mood for champagne, but you can't really just buy a bottle and leisurely sip out of it. But in Napa Valley, I was able to have some tastes of champagne (oh, excuse me, it has to be called sparkling wine in Napa because it isn't Champagne, France).
At the next winery, I tasted a delicious buttery chardonnay and totally got a bottle to bring home. I also got to have my tasting for free.

Then it was on to the Robert Mondavi winery for a tour. It was gorgeous there. Behind the vines were mountains. The tour was great. I learned that the wine country of Northern California began when Spanish missionaries grew grapes in order to make communion wine. I was also able to run out in the vineyard and eat the grapes. They were much, much sweeter than I thought they would be. I had a cabernet grape, a merlot grape, a pinot grape and a chardonnay grape. I saw the big vats and barrels the grapes and then eventual wine is put into.
Our tasting was of three of their reserve (i.e. super fancy wines) and when they heard it was my birthday, the tour guide opened another bottle for more tasting. And then everyone told me happy birthday. (Here's a fun fact; there were two couples in my group who were also named McGuire; one was spelled the correct way (McGuire) and one was spelled the wrong, Tom Cruise way (Maguire). And then we all ended up sitting in a row during the tasting).
By this time, I was pretty tipsy, but we stopped at another winery, where I not only received another free tasting, my friend's tasting fee was super cheap. This is where I got a bottle of red (Cabernet Sauvignion) to go with my white..

At this point, after a ton of wine and really, only lime tortilla chips to eat, I was starving. So we went to dinner. And shared a bottle of Chianti. I had never had Chianti before. After our large dinner, my friend kept saying we should get a dessert. When it came, it had a candle in it, and I guess, after so much wine, I wasn't really thinking much about it, and then I was told to listen and the singer in the corner was quietly singing, "Happy Birthday."
After dinner I felt sick from wine and food and pretty much spent the rest of the evening laying very still.

Happy Birthday to me.

My Uneventful Escape from Alcatraz and How I Lost $11 Worth of Salt Water Taffy

I have returned from SF/Napa Valley. It was honestly the coolest trip I have ever taken and the absolute best way to spend my 30th birthday.

The trip began slightly marred because my head got really plugged up and I could not get my right ear to pop, so while I thought I was shouting, everyone else heard it as slightly above a whisper.

Anyhoo, I made it to Alcatraz, which after all the carrying on I did, people probably thought it was the whole reason I went. It was a beautiful day for a ferry ride to prison. The Alcatraz tour was really cool. It was self-guided so you went at your own pace. I saw the heads that the famous escapees made to fool the guards. I saw solitary confinement. It made me really glad to never be in prison. Living day to day there was torture. They could hear freedom wafting across the bay from SF. Many people's families were told that they were dead. It made me feel a little sorry for them. Until I was riding the ferry back and I realized, they were criminals. They deserved to be in jail. But I liked hearing about it and thought it was interesting all the same.

Then I walked Pier 39. I saw seals. And I bought a clam that was cracked and had a pearl in it. I had the best crab cakes of my life and some clam chowder. And I ended buying a lot of salt water taffy to bring home to my nephews.

My friend, Jen and I found a tour that was on an old trolley car. It took us throughout the city. We saw all the different neighborhoods and the guy pointed out all the different architecture. We saw the Golden Gate up close (fortunately, no one jumped while I was there). We drove through Chinatown and their Little Mexico district. And when the tour was over, when it was dark and raining, the tour guide drove us back to our hotel so we didn't have to fight for a cab. While waiting for the concierge to bring us our bags, I used the restroom. And left my bag of salt water taffy on the back of the toilet. And remembered only when we were on the middle of the Bay Bridge on our way to Oakland. Needless to say, no one got any salt water taffy, not even me.

But honestly, I am not ruining the end of my tale by saying that was the worst thing that happened during my trip. And that wasn't that bad at all.

Return tomorrow (or in a couple of days) when I continue with my actual birthday in the Napa Valley.

Final Thoughts...for a week or so

Tomorrow I am off for my big 30th birthday celebration (I have decided that if I keep saying or writing 30, I might get used to it) and I am getting excited. I will feel better when I am sitting in the terminal. I will feel really good when I am in San Francisco with my bags.

So... a mindless tidbit to get you through:

Have any of you seen "Pushing Daisies?" CUTEST show ever. I just smile through the whole thing. Yeah, it's a little cheesy, but not annoying cheesy, sweet cheesy. And every week there is an interesting murder mystery.

And the lead character is a pie maker, so there are always delicious looking pies on the show. Tonight there was an apple and cheese pie. Even though I am stuffed to the gills with Italian food, the show makes me want an apple and cheese pie.

Ok, I am over and out. Have a good week y'all.

An Early Birthday Celebration

Today I celebrated my birthday with my family because I won't be in town for my actual birthday (a week from today if you're counting). I received some sweet cash for my big trip (see previous post for details), a grabber (which is a story all on it's own for perhaps a later post) and a couple of beautiful homeade cards from my nephews.

Of course when Jack and Logan are around, life is much funnier than normal. Like at one point, the boys, my mom and dad and I are in my mom's room. We don't hang out in the living room like, what I would gather normal families do. The boys wrestle and we wonder who's farting. Until one boy starts kneeing the other one in the head and then all the fun has to go and it gets serious.

And then towards the end of the evening, Logan asks if we can light the candles and enjoy some peace and serenity. I love that an eight year old wants to experience that. So they light a bunch of candle and we all end up (finally) in the living room, all the lights off, enjoying peace and serenity.

Until one boy starts kneeing the other one in the head and all peace and serenity flies out the window.

A City That Unifies

As most of you know, I am going to San Francisco and the Napa Valley next week (Weird! I can't believe I am going next week). San Francisco is a place that everyone loves. It is evident when everyone tells me something I need to do. Among the suggestions are:

>Alcatraz

>The Presidio

>Bike across the Golden Gate Bridge

>Take a bus tour to the four highest points in the city

>The seals

>The biggest Gap ever where clothes are cheaper than any other Gap (Gap was established there in 1969. Read the button of your Gap jeans people!).


I love all the suggestions. And if I had more time, I would still not do them all. But I am definitely going to Alcatraz. I'll probably see some seals (they run wild there, right?). I wouldn't mind going to the Gap, but I probably shouldn't buy a bunch of new clothes (unless I end up spilling some red wine all over the clothes I have and must replace them).


I am also going to eat some ever-lovin super fresh seafood.


And maybe try to score some drugs from the homeless kids the hippies want to kick out of Haight/Ashbury.

It's gonna be GREAT!

When Seredipity Strikes...

...you can't run and you can't hide.

Check this out:

This evening at the grocery store, I saw an aisle that was empty and decided to go down it so that I could get to the other side and it ended up being the light bulb aisle, which I never go down unless I need light bulbs, which I didn't need (or at least I didn't think I needed). But I saw those compact fluorescent light bulbs, those kind that are good for saving energy and money, so I thought, "What the hey" and I bought some to have some spare light bulbs.

After I get home and put away my groceries, I make my way to the living room and turn on my lamp, and boom, the bulb goes out.

ISN'T THAT INSANE?!?!!? I mean, I got the bulbs just in case and then I needed them.

You can't question serendipity, you just gotta go with it.

Oh God, How I Love Will Ferrell

Dreams....or NIGHTMARES?

Every once in a while, since I graduated with my Masters degree, I have a dream that I need to pass an Economics test to graduate and I haven't been to the class all semester.

It' a weird dream to have, after the fact. It's like I am afraid they are going to take my degree away from me.

If you also recall, I sometimes dream about Ralph Fiennes (it's not romantic, he's my friend in the dreams). I dreamt about him again the other night after a long time without dreaming of him. In this dream we went up to a snack bar at a pool and I ordered a beer and he was with me and said, "You'll like that one, it's like Miller Light."

Dreams are so weird.

Pens in Restaurants

I saw a super awesome movie last night. It was called Once, and it took place in Dublin and there was music and a sweet love story, but not like cheesy, and basically I recommend it to everyone.



After the movie, Jen A. and I went to the Brewhouse for some brews and loaded fries and at the end of the night, the bartender brings the receipts and some pens to sign said receipts. I don't know what happened, but I grabbed a pen and it flew through my fingers and back behind the bar and I think it might've landed behind something inconvenient. And I was embarrassed, but not as embarrassed as when the bartender comes over and says, "Was there another pen? Did I see it fall behind something back here?" Man, I was totally called out and totally apologized, but I don't think it mattered.



It reminded me of a time (and I think Laura was there) at Jeds and the waitress had a green pen that had green ink and I switched my similar looking green pen that had black ink with the green inked pen and the waitress was like, "Is that my pen?" What is it with me and pens and restaurants? It's a compulsion, a sickness perhaps. I don't know.

Should've Trusted My Gut

I said I wouldn't do it. But then I went out to dinner with my friend Molly and had a couple of margaritas and well, my good sense was down I guess.


I watched the Addison show (Private Practice).


And I know I am probably going to be in the minority, but this show sucks. I knew what was going to happen way before it happened.


And didn't another woman play her black best friend before?


And this Addison is not the Addison from Grey's Anatomy. She's too insecure and neurotic.


I am never going to drink margaritas on Wednesday again. It only leads to crappy television.

Tuesday Tidbits

The other day I was at a bar with Ashley and this guy starts talking to us. Him and Ashley talk and talk and talk about planes. And the first question he asks me is if I have kids. What is up with that? I mean, is it just me, or does that sound like a totally weird question to ask? He didn't even ask me if I was married or had a boyfriend first. That question came after the kids question. And it has actually bothered me a lot. And I think it has bothered probably more than it should, but let's face it, I am kind of neurotic. I mean, I can't be perfect all the time.

And here's a reminder (not that any of you faithful readers need one) The Office starts THIS Thursday at 9 pm Eastern time. Be there or be square. I watched some preview scenes on nbc.com and it looks pretty funny.

The Office coming back has made me realize that summer went by really fast. And it still feels like summer. It's been so warm I hadn't thought to even notice the leaves changing, but they are. I think today is the last war day though. But who knows, it could be super warm again in October and again November. Nature and weather are weird.

Jimmy Johns and Me: A Perfect Family

I had a beach club today for the first time in...well, I don't know. I can't even remember the last time I ate Jimmy John's, but it doesn't matter. Because it still tasted really good.

I am sad that it is Sunday evening already and the weekend is coming to an end. I hate Monday through Friday.

But I do have Clive Owen in Gosford Park to make the evening more bearable.

I love Clive Owen.

There's An Awards Show On...Yay

Ok, so we all know I love award shows and tonight is a good one. It's the Emmy's which are the tv award and we all love tv right?

Well good news so far...Locke won!!!! I thought that dude from The Sopranos was going to win, but it was Locke...hooray.

Izzie from Grey's Anatomy won. I was never a huge Izzie fan, but I like her with George. And I thought Knocked Up was super funny.

Yay, Conan O'Brien won. I like his show and I am excited for when he takes over for Jay Leno.

Anchorman is on! Not that that is
Emmy related, but I like having something fun to watch when the Emmy's get boring.

"LOUD NOISES"

"That's baby making music, that's what that is."

Ari from Entourage wins. Laura tells me that I am going to grow to like Ari, but I would've rather seen Drama win.

Ryan Seacrest is such s douchebag.

Alec Baldwin didn't win. What the...?!?!?!

30 Rock won! 30 Rock won!

Good night everyone, stay classy world.

The Baboon Knee

So my mom is now kind of like the bionic woman with her fake knee. She didn't seem bionic though, she just seemed really, really high. She starts her physical therapy tomorrow. They don't fuck around. They rip your leg in half and a day later they are like, "WALK!"

Anyhoo, I was in Atlanta for about 27 hours. I saw the CNN center. I also saw a Chinese guy smoking in the convention center. It was hot. Supposedly I was from Chattanooga, OK, but that's another story for another time, which is probably never.

Ah, it feels like fall. I was sad to see summer go, but apparently it is going to be back in the 80's next week. Hooray for global warming.

Let the Season of all Things Pumpkin Begin

Headstands and Bandstands

Yesterday I was at yoga and you want to know something? I am much closer to doing a handstand than I thought. I am going to practice and maybe in a few months I will be able to do it and totally impress everyone!



I thought I would shuffle through my iPod shuffle and bring you 10 songs again. I thought it would be funny if they were the same 10 songs from last week, but they're not.

1. Summer Time by Sublime.

2. One by U2.

3. Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie.

4. Under the Blacklight by Rilo Kiley.

5. Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson

6. Be Your Love by Rachel Yamamgata

7. Cos it Already Is by Pete Yorn

8. I've Seen it All by Feist

9. Hard Knock Like by the little girl who played Annie in the movie Annie

10. It Ain't Me Babe by Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon as Johnny Cash and June Carter.



Have a good weekend y'all.

Tired Just Thinking About It

I am already looking forward to next weekend. No, not this coming weekend, the weekend after. I have a really crazy 10 days or so coming up. First of all, I have a bridal shower on Friday. I am really only going to know the bride at this one, so I'll be that awkward, odd-person out. But they are serving wine, so that's something.


On Saturday is the Black Swamp Festival. I might look more forward to this if I lived there and could walk, but I don't live there and I have to drive and well, I might back out this one.


Monday and Tuesday I will be in Atlanta for the National Glass Show. I am really not looking forward to this. It was sprung on me and I feel as though I was kind of guilted into going. And I have to be on a 6:30 am flight Monday morning. But I did get some new clothes, so at least I will look good.


And finally, on Wednesday, my mom has her knee replacement surgery. It should be no big deal, but the last time she had surgery that wasn't any big deal, she had complications and got seriously sick. So as you might've guessed, I am a little nervous.


I am already tired.

Let's Start the Weekend Off With a Bang

Here's a fun game that gets to know me a little better.

I turned on my iPod and the following are the ten songs that played.

1. "Let Go" by Frou Frou. Dumb band name, good song.
2. "I Try" by Macy Gray. This song makes me think of my Spring Break in New Orleans.
3. "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheaton. I always thought this song was sung by a girl, but then I actually listened to the words and I think it is sung by a guy with a high pitch voice.
4. "Breathe" by Sia. Very dramatic.
5. "Neon Bible" by Arcade Fire. This whole album is also very dramatic.
6. "Song 2" by Blur. Fast.
7. "Song for Karen" by Sonic Youth. A punk rock song about Karen Carpenter
8. "Sissyneck" by Beck. My most favorite Beck song. "I got a stolen wife and a rhinestone life and some good old boys."
9. "Where is my Mind" by The Pixies. Just plain good.
10. "Runnin Down a Dream" by Tom Petty. What list is complete without Tom Petty.

Have a good weekend y'all.

I am Glad This Fad Did Not Last

Just Try to Remember That You are Really, Really Good Looking, Hansel

This morning I read that Owen Wilson had been in an accident and was hospitalized. I clicked on the story thinking that he had been in a car accident. I was not prepared for the fact that it was supposedly a suicide attempt. I was really shocked. I mean, really shocked.

I guess it was weird because just last week I came across an article about this couple. She was a writer and had developed video games for girls in the 1990’s and he was an artist who had designed some album covers for Beck. In early July he had come home to find her dead. She had killed herself with Tylenol PM’s and Bourbon. A week later he drowned himself.

Suicide, in addition to being tragic and devastating, is really weird. I mean, all of these people were successful; how could their lives be so bad that they would want to end them. But how could anyone’s lives be so bad they would want to end them? How did killing oneself become an actual option?

Life is weird, I guess. But I am still living, and that’s apparently something.

The Reader I Am

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Literate Good Citizen You read to inform or entertain yourself, but you're not nerdy about it. You've read most major classics (in school) and you have a favorite genre or two.
Book Snob
Dedicated Reader
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

A Self-Portrait...

of Jack and me on the occasion of his sixth birthday party.

Priceless

Have you seen the Mastercard commercial where the little boys are wearing backpacks and dancing to "We've got the funk?"

I love it. It makes me giggle every time I see it.

Small Stuff

I've discovered that it is not just midget and dwarf people that weird me out a little, it is midget and dwarf grapes also. They are tart and gross, just like midget and dwarf people.

Just kidding. I actually don't know if midget and dwarf people are tart and gross. They might be sweet and clean for all I know.

I also don't like dwarf or midget cars because they make me think there is an open parking space and there isn't. It makes me want to kick them, just like midget and dwarf people.

Just kidding, I wouldn't kick a midget or dwarf person. To be honest, I probably wouldn't get close enough to kick them.

Suzy at One With Nature

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I discovered a really awesome bike train this summer. It's not just long and flat; it has some hills and dips and curves. It gets me really close to nature. On Sunday I rode my bike with a butterfly by my side for some of the ride. He was my friend.

I also see lots of deer. They are really skinny. I saw a really, really skinny one yesterday. I bet Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows was thicker than this deer. And after seeing all these deer, I don't understand why hunters actually have to hunt. I mean, come on, they're just running in front of me. I could totally shoot one if I had or gun, or really wanted to.

And this bike trail connects and interlaces with horse trails. Yesterday, I was just riding along, minding my own business and I perpendicularly passed a horse and it's rider. I guess I kind of spooked the horse because it looked as though the rider had to work to control it. What the heck? You would think these horses would be used to bike riders. Anyhoo, to make a long story short, I almost saw a horse kill a person yesterday.

This is why I don't like horses, they are killers.

Tidbits to Get You Through the Weekend

"To alcohol, the cause and solution of all life's problems." - Homer Simpson.

I just thought I would start my blog with one of my favorite Simpsons quotes because the Simpsons movie comes out today. Did you know that they turned some 7-11's into Kwik-E Marts. I totally would've gone to one but the closest one to this area is Chicago. And I don't like the Simpsons enough to travel to Chicago to go to a Kwik-E mart.

This weekend I am going to Ann Arbor to go to World Market. I love World Market. It's so exotic and international. I am going to get coffee beans! Hooray for beans.

In other news, I got a new phone. My old phone broke in half while I was trying to make a phone call. So I got one of those LG's that plays music. My niece says it looks like an iPod. Anyhoo, it has all of these features...music, television...and I probably won't use any of them. Well maybe I will. I should never say never. But it just seems complicated. Actually, it's probably not complicated, I am probably just lazy. And I tell you, I've been really lazy lately.

Oh, oh, oh, I have to tell you all this. Last night I was at the grocery store and you want to know what I saw...Alouette Light. So of course I had to buy it and try it out. And it tasted just like the regular. There really isn't much difference in calorie count; 50 vs. 80, but it's one of those things where if you are counting calories, every bit helps right?

Alright. I want everyone to have a nice weekend. And just think a week from this weekend, three of us will be seeing each again! Yay.

I am going to talk about Harry Potter...READ at YOUR own RISK!

I was really, really sad when I read the last page. It all of a sudden occured to me, there was nothing to look forward to now (in terms of Harry Potter, not my life).

I want to start with the few things I didn't like. And by no means did the following ruin the book for me; I was just like, whatever.

1. The scene at the end where Dumbledore explains everything to Harry. I guess we needed it, but it seemed sooo heavy handed.
2. Uh, why didn't Harry, Ron, Ginny, or Hermione name their kid Fred?
3. Speaking of Fred...I was not expecting all the death. Mad Eye, Lupin, Tonks, Dobie, Snape, Fred, and of course Voldemort. Well, I was kind of expecting Voldemort, but there was still a lot of death. I thought Rowling said two characters? LIAR!
4. And going back to number 2, speaking of the future, why didn't she tell us what they do? Who is the headmaster of Hogwarts?
5. Didn't you think that Harry's aunt had something more important to play in the overall story? I mean, I thought that was hinted at in an earlier book.
6. And lastly, I didn't not like this, but when Ron left, I was SOOO angry. I felt horrible for Hermione.

But to move on to what I loved...
1. That when Hermione and Ron finally had their moment (or at least the first one we knew about anyway) that it was kind of steamy. I always knew Hermione had it in her.
2. When Harry summoned his mom and dad and Sirius and Lupin to walk with him to what he thought was his death.
3. The final battle at Hogwarts. It rocked.

I thought it was a good ending overall. I liked how all the major characters from previous books made some sort of appearance.

Don't you think this will make a kick ass movie?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter!

So have ya'll caught Harry Potter fever yet? I am on the verge. I am picking up my book on Saturday. I thought for a second of going on Friday, but it sounds like way too much work. Anyhoo, I get my book on Saturday and I may not do anything else for the rest of the weekend. I may just read and read and read. I want to savor the last experience and yet I want to know what happens. I think my desire to know what happens will win out. I've also been avoiding anything on the internet that has to do with Harry Potter. I do not want any spoilers.

I think I am going to go see the new movie this week too. I want to feel caught up on everything.

I also tried to get my mother to buy me Harry, Hermione and Ron action figures. She said no.

Well, everyone if, I don't talk to you again this week, Happy Harry Potter-ing!

For most of my life, I have not liked tomatoes. I have liked tomato flavored things like ketchup or tomato sauce for spaghetti, but never actual tomatoes. I never liked the texture. It seemed weird.

I have gotten better with age. I discovered I liked them on my pizza. Someone told me to eat them with fresh mozzarella and balsamic vinegar. I learned to like BLT's.Over the weekend I was having dinner at my parents house and my mom put out a plate of tomato slices and I decided I was going to have one. And I liked it. I thought it was very tasty.

So tasty that I actually bought some tomatoes and have been slicing them up and having them with my dinner.

I still don't really like them in salads or sandwiches, and I don't really like them cut into wedges, but I feel like a whole new person here. First it was mushrooms, then onions, now tomatoes. I wonder what other vegetables I should try?

Jack Tale #276

Last year Jack liked to run around naked yelling, "Penis Man!"

As he's grown, he's become more modest.

Now he runs around in his underwear yelling, "Underware Man!"

My mother is convinced that he's going to grow up to be a flasher.

Post 4th of July

4th of July in the middle of the week is dumb. I drank too many beers in the hot sun. And then I was tired. So I went to bed at 9:30 pm. I read until 10 and fell into a deep sleep. Until 10:20 when I thought I heard noises that sounded like someone was trying to break into my apartment. But it was actually fireworks.

That is how I lame I am on the 4th of July. I thought fireworks were a burglar.

I Guess I Have a Case of the Mondays or Whatever

Yes, yes it was serendipitous that my power came on exactly as I got home on Friday. But this morning it did me no good. I forgot to reset all of my important alarms. So my alarm clock went off a good half an hour before I usually wake up and I was sleeping GOOD. And my coffee brewed at midnight instead of its time. That actually makes it two work days in a row that I have not had coffee at home. Friday, it went off, but I had forgotten to put the grounds in, so I had hot water.

And today, I forgot to brush my teeth. I am pretty sure I have never done that. I ate an apple because apples apparently help bad breath (another good reason to eat apples) and brushed them while I am at home for lunch.

I think it is the screwy work week. I have Wednesday off. So it's like two little mini-weeks or something.

Serendipitous

Earlier this evening, I was getting ready to go out and was in the shower and my power went out. Thankfully I had less than hour before I was to leave and was sure it would be back on before I got home. I mean, my neighbors are old ladies; I knew that they weren't going to let this go on all night.

But when I came back nearly 4 hours later, it still wasn't on when I pulled in. There was no lights on inside and none of the parking lot lights were on. But as I was walking up the stairs, struggling to find my apartment key, the lights went on. Perfect timing, huh?

But, my question is this: is the food in my fridge bad? It didn't feel hot inside and the beer I pulled out to drink wasn't warm at all. It wasn't freezing cold, but it was drinkable. I am not sure. I do know I have a lot of good food in my fridge. I hope it isn't bad.

Fish...Yay or Nay?

Did you know that some male fish are taking on female characteristics due to water pollution? Weird, and kind of gross. A couple of weeks ago I wanted to go swimming in a lake, but I think I am ok not doing that. In my head it goes like this: I go for a lovely afternoon swim and I come out and all of a sudden I care way too much about sports. And I can't pick up after myself (I admit here, I am stating stereotypes). Or worse, I come out of the lake with a penis.

You want to know what are awesome. Japanese bread crumbs. They are kind of like the breading used on coconut shrimp. You want to know what sounds awesome. Coconut shrimp. I wonder if I should place an order at Red Lobster.

Wait a minute…should I get shrimp? What if the males have female characteristics? Is it ok to eat hermaphrodite shrimp? Do shrimp have a sex?

Damn my inquisitive nature.

Who Knew?

Apparently every sport has its own dangers.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20043882,00.html

Weekend

I'm tired and my body hurts. I feel like I need a weekend to recover from my weekend. I think instead of going to the gym, I am going to go home straight away after work and lay around for the rest of the evening. I should probably go to the grocery store, but I don't want to do that either. A smoothie sounds good. Maybe I will get one of those on my way home.

I had a golf lesson yesterday, hence my body hurting. It was awesome though. The couple of tips he gave me helped immensely. I was hitting the ball straight AND far. Hooray.

I fell out of bed yesterday morning. I rolled over to get out of bed, but I was too close to the edge and just rolled out and onto the floor. I don't remember ever falling out of bed before. Although it is funny in hind site, it is kind of jarring first thing in the morning.

Saturday I was almost run over by a stroller while I was at an art fair. And the woman said, "Wow, I got really close." Not, "sorry" or "excuse me." "Wow, I got really close." Like she was trying to hit me; like I was two points or something. And the people I was with said it did look like she was aiming for me. I hate mothers and strollers. I want to yell, "You are not entitled; people should not bow down to you because you have given birth." I mean really, millions of women give birth every day. It's not that special. I have not given birth, I think that sounds more special.

Oh and speaking of kids and mothers and the art fair. I went to the bathroom and this little boy had pooped his pants. He asked his mother if he was going to have to go the shed. The mother looked mortified and said that he just shouldn't poop his pants. I mean, I know kids say the "darndest things," but you have to wonder about a little boy who is afraid he has to go to a shed for punishment.

See what I mean about needing a weekend for me weekend?

Post Cards

This is going to be a very good year for postcards for me. Norman has already sent me around 10 (I don't know the exact number off the top of my head) detailing her trip to the Bay Area of California. Laura is (or had better) send me one from Hawaii. And Jeannie said she would send me one from Ireland.

I should put together a coffee table book of all the postcards I have received. I have a lot.

Would you all buy a coffee table book of all the postcards I have ever received?

It's Father's Day

I got my dad a pumpkin plant. I figure, he plants lots of weird things, why not try a pumpkin. And because I love pumpkin flavored things and I thought he would think it is funny. I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh and I making a blackberry cobbler. I've never made a blackberry cobbler before. I'll let you know how that goes too.

Speaking of dad's, my dad in particular, the other day I went over to my parent's house and my dad had got me a new golf bag. How sweet is that?

The same day I went to my parents house, I went back to a yoga class I went to religiously last summer. I don't know if you remember, but this was the class that I loved, but the woman sometimes had us do partner poses, which I really, really did not love. So after nearly nine months of not going, I go, and she has us do partner poses. Or at least the other people did. I high-tailed it out of there.

I went for my first bike ride of the year yesterday and my ass hurts today.

I am most certainly turning a golden brown. I attended the Jazz Fest yesterday and it was hot and sunny. And fun. And I am the perfect shade to show for it.

I have one last thought for you, and it comes courtesy of a Snapple cap:

"A rainbow can only be seen in the morning or late afternoon."

Interesting, n'est pas?

Enjoy your Sunday's with your dads y'all.

In Eight Weeks...

I lost

• 4 lbs.
  
• 4.6% body fat
  
• 9 inches

He-yeah!

I did gain a half an inch in each of my arms, but I was told to think of it as gaining strength.

Seriously, check out how freakishly big my tricep looks while Laura and I try to shut this shark's mouth:

Bad News

I just heard on the news that farmers in Mexico are burning their blue agave fields so they can grow corn to meet the US's growing demand for ethanol. You all know what blue agave makes right? Tequila. So all you margarita lovers might want to stock up with a few extra bottles while you can so you can enjoy your favorite drinks when you want them.

My Parking Lot is Weird

Last night, there was a car in my parking lot. It was a white Thunderbird, but an older Thunderbird, from like, 1980's. All of a sudden it starts blaring, "You've Lost That Loving Feeling," but not the classic rendition by (I believe) The Righteous Brothers, but the cheesy 80's version by Hall and Oats. And this guy in the white Thunderbird had his door open and his leg propped up against it and all of a sudden starts singing along with it; really jamming out. I watched, first from inside my apartment, but then I needed to get closer, I needed to see this guy stuck in 1980's. He had frosted blond highlights.

You know how there was the movie, ET and then there was the cheaper, not as good alien movie, Mac and Me around the same time? I thought I was watching the Mac and Me version of Top Gun or something.

In other news, my tagline for the company I work for, "Bring Down the Curtain," was trademarked. I don't know if it is actually that important to be the author of a trademarked phrase, but it feels kind of exciting. Can I list it on my resume? How do I do that?

I Forget

Last week I told you how I forgot to set up my coffee. Well that was just the first in a line of forgetfulness. One day I forgot to set my coffee again, but I noticed in enough time to let it brew. One day I forgot to bring my bottle of water, which was really awful because I like to drink water and a lot of it, and our office is next to a waste management plant and I don't really like to drink the water there. It, for obvious reasons, tastes funny. I've also forgotten miscellaneous office things, which are too boring to list, so I've been leaving myself post-it notes everywhere and writing on my hand. Currently, my hand says "Rent" which is reminding me to pay it today. My kitchen has a note that says "Call Ashley and go to library." And my desk has a note telling me to print something, which reminded me that I needed to print something, so did that post-it note fail?

I saw "Knocked Up." It was hilarious, I highly recommend it. Tonight I am going to see a movie called "Waitress." Last Friday I saw the third "Pirates" movie. Three movies in one week; I'm getting a little movie crazy. Speaking of movies, I did not realize that the next Harry Potter movie is coming out this summer (July 11 to be exact). I didn't think it was coming out until the fall. July is definitely going to be Harry Potter month. I can't wait.

My mom has to get knee replacement surgery. Apparently she will not be getting a baboon's knee which I thought would've been cool, but some sort of porceline or something. And then pretty much right after my mom is healed, my dad has to get a hip replacement (maybe he'll get a baboon's hip). All of these replacements are due to arthritis. It appears to me that getting old sucks. I am going to enjoy being young for as long as I can. And you all should too.


Have a good, young weekend

Something for the Holiday

I completely remember taking off my glasses last night before I went to sleep. I remember because it was dark when I took them off and when I put them on my nightstand, they were half on a book and half on an actual nightstand. However, in the middle of the night, I woke up with my glasses on. This isn't the first time this has happened. It makes me wonder what I do in my sleep.

I also forgot to set up my coffee last night, which I hardly ever do. And by the time I went to get my cup, it was too late to make some. And the coffee I stopped and got left a weird taste in my mouth. I just hope this isn't a foreshadowing of the weekend to come.

Some of you know the little in and out mart down the street that I often go to. I like it. They have a nice selection of beer, they sell my current favorite drink, Cran-Razz Xyience, and they are pretty nice. It's kind of ghetto…ok, so it's really ghetto, but it doesn't bother me. Although maybe it should; I swear the other night I saw two super trashy girls buy crack pipes. It was bizarre. And it took forever, and all I wanted to do was buy a green tea.

I think I am going to go see the movie, Knocked Up at a special preview screening next week. A friend of mine got passes and asked if I wanted one. Hopefully it all works out because I really want to see that movie and to see it free would be even better.

A few other announcements:

I polled two thirds of my audience here and they loved the Lost season finale. I agree with them and I think I speak for all of us when I say we are sad we have to wait so long to see more.

Everyone congratulate Norman because she cut the ties and let her dissertation fly free into Ohio Link.

Also, have a wonderful holiday weekend ya'll. Enjoy the nice weather if you've got it.

Delish Dish

Ok, everyone, go and get an eggplant, two tomatoes, one cup of feta cheese and 4 tbsp of plain yogurt (it can even be low fat if you like). Go ahead, I'll wait while you do this.









Ok, now that you've got all of these things, take the eggplant, slice it, sprinkle olive oil over the slices and sprinkle with salt. And then wait 30 minutes. And you might as well pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees.



Now that you have waited 30 minutes, rinse off the eggplant and then put it in a shallow baking dish that has been coated with cooking spray. Then take your two tomatoes and slice and lay over the eggplant. Then take your cup of feta cheese and sprinkle over the eggplant and tomatoes. Then take your 4 tbsp of plain yogurt and spread on top, over the eggplant, tomatoes and feta, and salt and pepper to taste. Then pop it in the oven to cook for 30 minutes or until yogurt is bubbly and brown.

Do all of this and, trust me, your mouth will thank you. It is delicious. And low calorie too. It makes four servings and each serving is only 95 calories. I made it for the first time last night and almost died it was so good. I am going to make it again this weekend. And right now is a good time to make it: eggplant is in season.

Oh and Happy Last Lost Day Until 2008 Ya'll!

And That's What We Call Stealing the Spotlight

My brother was telling me about the program Jack's school put on. Jack's class sang a song. And Jack sang louder than everyone else, was ahead of everyone else in the song and swayed back and forth while the others stood still.

I still laugh just thinking about it.

If They Mated....

If I had a baby with the awesome Paul Rudd, this is what it would look like:

It's weird that my baby has sprouted a weird patch of hair from it's forehead. Maybe it's one of those placenta babies Norman told me about.

Ten Foods

There are 10 foods that hard to digest for various reasons to numerous to list here according to the food person on MSN.

Chicken Nuggets – Of course chicken nuggets are my favorite food on the menu at McDonalds.

Spicy Foods – Of course I love spicy foods. And the real spicy food, none of the Midwestern bullshit people think is spicy. I am talking about real flavor.

Chocolate Brownies – This just makes me think of the delicious Butterfinger Brownie my local Borders serves. I love it.

Citrus Juices – Finally, one I am safe from. Except when I drink margaritas with my spicy food.

Mashed Potatoes – I have pretty much given up eating potatoes for caloric reasons (of course, I do eat them from time to time). But mashed potatoes are good.

Raw Onion – AWESOME. I only like my onions cooked really soft!

Ice Cream – My goodness, this list is awful un-American. What next, apple pie?

Apple Pie – HA! Just kidding.

Raw Broccoli – I don't mind broccoli, it's not my favorite. I do like cooked with a little butter and lemon juice.

Beans – Another one that I feel pretty good about because I am not a big bean person. Unless they are smothered in something. Or refried. To go with my spicy foods and citrus juice based margaritas.

I thought for sure bagels were going to be on the list because bagels are notoriously hard to digest. I probably still have some of the bagel I ate in March in my stomach.

In other, non-food related news, one of my best friends from college and former roommate, Patti, had her baby. Ripley weighed 8 lbs, 8 oz. It still blows my mind that my friends are mothers and fathers.

Sunday Musings

Every time I hear a car alarm go off, I hope the car is being broken into. I cannot think of a more annoying invention.

I got an aloe plant yesterday so now I will be able to heal myself like Claire on Heroes.

"Because I Said So" with Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore? Quite possibly the third worst movie ever made. Number one: Marie Antoinette. Number two: Crazy/Beautiful. Interesting that those both star snaggle-toothed Kirsten Dunst. (I hate Kirsten Dunst)

It's a nice day out. Sunny. A little chillier than warm. I should probably ride my bike or go to the driving range, but I just want to read and eat chips and salsa. So that's what I am going to do.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, ya'll.

Eating Out

Friday, A and I watched 20/20. I wanted to watch it because the DC Madam was supposed to spill all her secrets. Well, she either has not secrets or wasn't really spilling because it wasn't as exciting as they made it out to be. But we did see a story about why you shouldn't eat out on a Monday. It's because they recycle leftovers from the weekend and this can be really problematic when it comes to fish. Oh, and they put new wait staff out on their own on Monday's, so you might not get as good of service.

So A and I went out to dinner last night and we laughed because we had just watched that 20/20. And sure enough, there was a fish entrée on special (and although normally it might have sounded good, I just couldn't order it last night.

But the waiter was HOT. His name was Pete. I think he was Australian. He wasn't so bad a waiter. He did wrap my dinner before A was even done with hers. I say he has what it takes and after a few weeks of practice, he'll be working on a Tuesday with no problem. And besides, he was hot and had a hot accent; that's all he really needs to make it.

And Jan, It's Not Me, It's You

This morning I tried a Taco Bell breakfast burrito. I got the sausage one and it was ok. I look forward to trying the guacamole breakfast burrito next time, whenever that may be. Then I stopped and got a Cran-Razz Xyience. Those really are so addictive. I think I am glad you can't buy them by the case because I would drink them constantly and go broke. It's better I only get a couple a week.

I was working and I picked up my arm and there was red ink near my wrist. I have absolutely no idea how it got there. I guess I brushed up against a red pen, but I look at the red pen on my desk and I look at my wrist and I can't figure out how they could make contact. But this sort of thing happens to me all the time. I have ink all over my hands and arms. Sometimes I find ink on my clothes. People must think I work for a newspaper, in the bowels of the building where they actually print the paper.

I can't believe I just wrote bowels as a term for basement. And actually, even though I have a degree in journalism, I am not sure if newspapers are printed in the basement. That's how I picture it though. I suppose some do.

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.

Spring Fever

I love it when the weather is nice.

I spent much of Saturday outside reading. I broke out my lounge chair in a bag so I could get really comfortable. It was awesome. My goal this summer is to just spend more time outside, so hopefully I am off to a good start.

Before I could read outside however, I needed to get some books, so I went to the library downtown and had to parallel park, which I did perfectly because Norman taught me how when she was here a couple of weeks ago. Almost 14 years of driving and my eyes have been opened. I am going to start driving around just looking for places to parallel park.

I got some new pants; some khakis that actually fit.

Yesterday I got sun burnt sitting outside talking with my family. It's up towards the top of my arms and there is a perfect line from where my shirt sleeve was. And there is a stripe of burn on my leg. My face looks nicely colored. That's because I use moisturizer with SPF in it.

Another Monday.

Colons Just Seemed So Today

One piece of advice for you all: don't eat the Kashi Peanut Butter Granola Bars. They have 4g of fiber and 5g of protein and I think that is all I can taste.

I read something very disturbing on the Internet this morning. I read that Alec Baldwin wants to leave "30 Rock" so he can devote more time to his custody battle and that he doesn't want the show to be affected by his negative reputation. This is what I wanted to do out loud when I read it:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I didn't think any differently of AB when I read about his voicemail tirade to his daughter. He was probably frustrated and lost his temper. He's a parent; they lose their tempers. My parents used to get mad and yell pretty comparable things to what AB told his daughter. Do they feel bad when it's done? Yes, but whatever. The only difference between my parents and AB is that they didn't have their comments on tape and released to the public.

I don't want this to take away my favorite show. Apparently he's got a contract for next year and they won't release him, but I want more than just next year. I want years and years of Alec Baldwin and "30 Rock."

I am going to make a t-shirt that says:

I Support Alec Baldwin
(which is really supporting "30 Rock", but I still like Alec Baldwin)

And You Don't Think Politics and Chinese Food Could Mix

David Moyer's said Monday in an interview with Terri Gross on Fresh Air that, "…skepticism was suspended in that time of trauma." He was speaking of how the media was more trusting of our government following 9/11 and into the beginning of the war. I just thought that was an interesting way to put it. I never suspended my skepticism of our government. I probably never will. Not even when the complete idiot leading our country now is replaced with someone I might like. I think our government, no matter who's in charge, is dangerous.

Ok, that's enough about politics, I just thought the quote was interesting.

Today at the gym, I am going to do one of those routines…I can't think of the name but it is when you go slow for a few minutes, the medium, then fast, then medium, then slow, then fast. It makes you burn a lot of calories in a short amount of time, and you burn a lot more calories even after you are done. So I am going to give it a try. I like not having to be at the gym so much. Laura told me over the weekend that she actually likes working out. I may like the benefits and I may feel good after, but I never really like doing it.

Do you believe those rumors about Chinese food actually being made with cat? I don't think I do, but I like Chinese food and hate cats, so I don't really care. In fact, now I am totally in the mood for Chinese food.

Happy Lost Day Y'All.

36 Hours

What a crazy couple of days. Norman came back to Ohio for a whopping 36 hours. But it was an important 36 hours; you can now call her Dr. Norman. And if you have any questions about post 9/11 theory or trauma rhetoric, you should ask her. She can give you answers. Just don't ask her about risk management theory, because that's just a dumb question. Or about the show " Jericho," because she doesn't like that show as much as "Lost," Heroes," and "24."

It was weird to go back to BG because I saw a lot of people I knew, and a lot of pregnant women. I was afraid to get too close, I didn't want to catch it. And I drank bottled water in case it was catching through the water.

And then I sent Norman home this morning around 5. I thought, the earlier the better. No, actually the early part was all Norman's idea, and she may have regretted it a little when she woke up a little hung over and with only like, 2 hours of sleep. But she'll get home and hit the hay early tonight I am sure. And I think I might too, even though I got a little more sleep than she did.

I think I am going to start saying "hit the hay" more often. Much like I have been using some form of f*ck. I realized yesterday that I describe things as "f*cking" a lot. When did it become my favorite adjective? I mean, I swear, but it just seemed like that has been my favorite word lately.

Ok, so I am going to relax a little for the next day and a half or so and then it is round two of friends coming. Laura will be here for…well…probably only about 36 hours too.

My Day Thus Far

It's a good thing I don't really see many people during the day because I noticed I was wearing a dirty shirt.

I am feeling better (knock on wood). The cough is almost gone. My nose is still stuffy and alternately runny, but I would rather have that than a cough and a sore throat.

I got the most awesome pair of tennis shoes last night. They are gray and pink. I tried to find a picture of them, but I couldn't. Anyhoo, if the two of you who regularly read this want to know what they look like, I can show you both next week. That's awesome.

I am going to go wash my sink. It's dirty.

Psychology and Nutrition

Here's what I'm think: how can you actually diagnose a child with Tourette's Syndrome? I mean, all kids say weird, inapproriate stuff all the time. They look at people weird and make weird noises and don't really know how to control themselves. It seems to me as though they all have Tourette's Syndrome.

I bought a king size bag of M&M's today and I am 98% sure that you are really only getting about three more M&M's than a regular bag. What the frick, man? I am now officially peeved enough that I may never buy another bag of M&M's, neither regular or king sized, again. Now will some one be kind enough to remind me of that when I want M&M's again.

Currently obsessed with poached eggs. Love them.

And I tried cabbage rolls for the first time on Easter and I gotta say: loved them.

Now, I am off to see if my heat is turned up because I am hot.

Good day.

I said, good day.

Random Memory Day

When I was in college, I tripped out on some acid on the 4th of July. After the fireworks, my friend Ryan and I were still hanging out outside and this girl came up. I totally forget her name, but she lived up the street and was a little younger than the rest of us and had been sleeping with our friend Mark and she was trouble with a capital T. While she was sleeping with Mark, she was also sleeping with her ex-boyfriend, Clint (I don't know why I remember his name) and about a month before the 4 th of July, she told them both she was pregnant and wanted money for an abortion.

Anyhoo, she came up and she was wasted and mad at Clint, whom she had gotten back together with (and I think she might've been still pregnant…but later we all wondered if that was true at all). She saw her ex-boyfriend walking up the street and she ran into the house. Clint came up and he was wasted too and he looked sad and he asked if we could tell her that he was outside and he wanted to talk to her. Ryan went in to find the girl and I stayed outside with Clint and all of a sudden, Clint bursts into tears and starts telling me how much he loved her and how he just wanted to be with her and how he would forgive her for anything. And then the girl comes out and she starts yelling at him that she hates him and to leave her alone and he yells back that he loves her. Eventually he walks away and she runs after him and they go home.

And I can't even imagine what Ryan and I looked like, but I am sure our eyes were almost completely bugged out and our jaws were probably on the floor, because remember, we were TRIPPING OUT ON ACID.

The girl would eventually move away, but I would see Clint again and he would always be soooo nice to me. I feel kind of bad in hind-site, because there he was crying and pouring his heart out to me and I was totally tripping out. I told that story to Mark several years later. He of course, hated Clint for obvious reasons. But he would say, "Well, at least he was nice to you."

I don't know why I thought of that today.

Bleh

For the past few weeks I have been spelling female, femail. I usually notice and fix it, but I can't stop doing it.

I drank too much last night. I drank too much and then didn't drink any water or eat a snack or anything that I would usually do to make a work day more workable. And I am paying for it today. I wouldn't say it's a horrendous hangover, just a dull ache. And I had to go to the gym today to get my health assessment for the "Slim Down for Summer" program. Ironically enough, the person doing my health assessment is the friend I went out with last night.

Right now I am doing laundry and waiting for an appropriate time to go to bed. I mean, if I went now, I would wake up in the middle of the night, but I do need to go to bed early. And I have a new book to read...I can't wait to go to bed.

Drinking on a weekday makes me feel old.

The Departed

Before I get to the main point of this blog (see title), I have to ask a question. What is up with Sanjaya? So, I don't watch American Idol, but I watch a lot of other tv, so I know who Sanjaya is and what I don't know, is that if people hate him so much, why is he there? His hair scares me.

Ok so back to The Departed. It rocked and I thought I would bullet point why I liked it.

• Mark Wahlberg rocks. He is really funny. And he's a bad ass. And I am pretty sure he knows it.
  
  
• Alec Baldwin. Enough said.
  
  
• I kept saying, "Poor Leo," because Leonardo DiCaprio really gets fucked in this movie. But he's tough and deals and while I have always like Leonardo DiCaprio, I really, really liked him in this.
  
  
• Jack Nicholson looked super old.
  
  
• Did I mention Alec Baldwin?
  
  Today was also my nephew Logan's 8th birthday party. I made him his vanilla on vanilla cake and put Star Wars action figures on it. And I got him Happy Feet. He loved them both. And it was the most heartwarming moment. I love him and his brother. They are the best kids and I hope the kids I might have are half as awesome as them.
  
  It gave me a good layer of love to watch The Departed with.
  
  Alec Baldwin.

And a Belly Full of Pasta

When you guys were just starting out in elementary school, were you graded on handwriting? I was and I got C's. And I was told I held my pen/pencil wrong. Looking back it seems like such a silly ability to grade, because I went on to have nice handwriting. In fact, I have actually been complimented on it. It also seems silly because I don't really judge people on they're writing. I mean, sometimes I have come across people whose writing I can't read, but I just think, "Jeesh, I wish I could read what they were writing."

I wonder if they even grade handwriting anymore. Especially since people use computers and such for everything. I hand-write very little…a check here and there, a card once in a while, a grocery list. If they do still grade handwriting, and if I have a child and he/she brings home a C in handwriting, or even an A for that matter, I am going to tell them it doesn't really matter, it doesn't form their personality and that every other skill is more important. And then I am going to tell them to tell their teacher I said that. And then I will tell the teacher myself at a parent-teacher conference.

I have a new crush at the gym and if you guys saw him, you would be really surprised because he's pretty clean-cut and HUGE. My god, he's got some big guns. He's probably like, 21 and a complete asshole, but he sure is pretty to look at when he runs on the treadmill.

One last thing – I can't even tell you how excited I am to see Blades of Glory. I don't really like Napolean Dynamite, but the one-two punch of Will Ferrell AND Gob from Arrested Development is enough to make me laugh without even seeing it. But I will see it.

Spring Fever

I had a green teani this weekend that was very delicious. It tasted just like green tea. And it was a perfect compliment to my sushi dinner.

I bought some new shirts this weekend. It was kind of weird to try on clothes since I've lost about 16 pounds. I try things on thinking they won't really fit or might not look right, but they do. And then I tried on a pair of old pants last night, a pair of pants that two and half years ago did not fit at all, that a year and a half ago, I could wear, but would have to wear them with a loose shirt to cover how tight they were, but last night, they were a little loose. Anyhoo, I guess the point of this little paragraph is that if you're looking for an esteem booster, lose some weight and go clothes shopping.

It's supposed to be close to 80 degrees today. I started my morning with my freshly ground Costa Rican coffee and it was delicious. Thanks for the grinder Norman, it's awesome. I will never be able to drink pre-ground coffee again.

And I met a sexy, sexy man today; the photographer taking pictures of our showers. I like to picture him in a shower.

Movie Recommendation

I know I give a lot of recommendations here, but I think you all should see "Gates of Heaven." It is a documentary made in 1980 about pet cemetaries. It is hard to explain; maybe bizarre is a good word. But bizarre in an awesome way.

It's a really moving film. It was sad to hear stories about people and their pets and how much they miss them, but it was also sweet to see them honor them.

It's also really funny...unintentionally funny. But it never mocked these people. It's just funny, what some people say. Like to guy who names "the pill" as the main contribution to the rise in pet ownership. Apparently, even though women work and don't have children, they still need to come home and fondle something.

It sounds like a weird movie, and it is. But it is SO worth it.

Do Not Tag Along with Tag-Along Ice Cream

You guys know about those peanut butter girl scout cookies? The ones that are peanut butter covered in chocolate? The ones apparently called Tag-Alongs? Well, the lovely people with the Girl Scouts and the lovely people at Edy's Ice Cream got together to make Tag-Along Ice Cream. If you ever see it, I beg you to run the other way. Do not look that evil carton in the eye.

I made that mistake.

I bought some and I couldn't stop. Well, ok I did. I had enough brains to stop myself around a third of the way in. And when I told myself to stop, I told myself to throw it away immediately.

So now I have a around 2/3 a carton of ice cream melting into my garbage. But I am ok with it. Even with all the starving people everywhere. Let Brangelina help them.

OH weird

It is only 35 degrees outside right now. 24 hours ago it was 70 degrees. Weather is so weird. There was snow on the ground this morning…not much, but enough to piss me off after nearly a week of experiencing nice weather.

So, I like to reflect over things…sometimes, I reflect over what happened a week ago. Yesterday I was reflecting over OKC a little more and I remembered a moment when Norman and I were driving and we saw a homeless guy. A really cute homeless guy and because she knows I like dirty, smelly guys, she mentioned that he probably did smell bad. And at first I said, probably too smelly for me. But then I thought about how much stank I could withstand and thought that maybe the homeless guy wouldn't be too smelly for me. And this made Norman LAUGH.

But Norman, I've thought about it more…and I was reminded of a student I had, who was not homeless, but smelled REALLY bad, and if the hot homeless guy smelled like the student, I wouldn't be able to do it.

Tata for now.

Back in OH

Well, I am back home, back at work, back at boring again.

I had a really good time in OKC, OK. Actually, it was Norman, OK, just outside of OKC, OK. I stayed well-hydrated with Sonic drinks. I slept REALLY good. I had a nice summer day and a nice spring day with thunder and lightning storms. It was also educational. I learned that James Garner and Mickey Mantle are from OK. And that contemporary dance can be boring, strange and cool, sometimes all at the same time. And I learned that I might be getting to airports a tad too early.

It was good to see Norman and Kayz. We laughed a lot. And I will get to see Norman again in about a month. And I am getting ready to write cover letters to jobs in OK, so maybe we'll see each other always soon.

Today it is supposed to be 70 degrees, so it's almost like I didn't really leave OKC, OK weather-wise.

Sad Day

Someone near and dear to our academic hearts died yesterday in Paris.

RIP Jean Baudrillard

He introduced me to what was hyperreal. But his death just seems real.

Several Things...

First of all, I saw Katie Holmes' mom at the mall. I think that I may now officially be six degrees from Kevin Bacon.

I was sick today, not so sick, but I decided not to go to work so I could get lots of rest and hopefully better before my trip OKC, OK. And I do feel better. Knock on wood, it lasts and only gets better.

Lastly, I got an email from a friend from college and it contained a link to her wedding pictures. She looked beautiful and it looked like a lot of fun, but what struck me was that this was at one time, one of my best friends, someone I have still managed to keep in regular touch with in the past six years, and she got married surrounded by a bunch of people I don't know. It was weird, it was almost like looking at a stranger's wedding pictures.

Being sick, but not being too sick, has made me eat a lot today and I actually feel kind of sick. I am going to continue to lie still.