My new couch is ready to be delivered. Unfortunately it is going to be delivered on Saturday, while I am in Cincinnati. Fortunately, my parents are going to come over to my house and wait and let them in. And then, when I get home on Sunday, my beautiful, stick of butter couch will be awaiting me. And I'll probably want to leave to come home early Sunday so I can enjoy my first hours with Butter.
Most of the time being single doesn't bother me. I am pretty independent. I can take care of a lot of things. But being single also means, I have to rely on my family for a lot of the small stuff. Waiting for my couch, helping me move the old one, answering questions about little things, like where to go for car de-icer are all things that I have to call my family for. Thank God for them that they are (most of the time) willing to help me out without (a lot of) payback. Although when I moved last summer, one of my brothers told me to get a boyfriend to help out next time I move. I think I should've told him to stop having babies with crazy women.
But back to the couch…now in addition to getting ready and packing for the weekend, I am going to have to move some shit around…like end tables and coffee table and label the buzzer for my parents. Of course it will all be worth it in the end.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Learning New Things
I love listening to NPR because I learn many wonderful new things. For example, this morning I learned about how during the Revolutionary War, slave owners would send in their slaves to fight, but while the slaves were supposed to be fighting, they found the British and told them they would fight for them in exchange for freedom. After the war was over, the British-side fighting slaves went to Freedom Town/Sierra Leone Africa where they started new communities. George Washington's main slave was one of a few to actually lead this movement. Not that their new lives were all rosy; it took them many, many years of bad weather and other circumstances to really make their new communities worth while.
Did you know about that? I didn't, and for once I was glad that there was a train, so I had to stop and actually listen to the whole story.
###
Last night Fargo was on Bravo and I was reminded of why it is such an awesome movie and one of my favorite movies ever; it is the relationship between Marge and Norm. It is so sweet and so simple and actually very powerful in a film that deals with a lot of violence. Anyhoo, they are like an old couple; silent while they eat, they fall asleep with the TV on, she is supportive of his painting and he brings her lunch at the police station. In fact, Marge is the breadwinner, but it never seems like a big deal. Norm is happy to stay at home with his painting, why should he care when he loves Marge so much.
That really isn't the main part of the film, but it is just one of those details that make it a great movie. If you haven't seen it, you really should.
Did you know about that? I didn't, and for once I was glad that there was a train, so I had to stop and actually listen to the whole story.
###
Last night Fargo was on Bravo and I was reminded of why it is such an awesome movie and one of my favorite movies ever; it is the relationship between Marge and Norm. It is so sweet and so simple and actually very powerful in a film that deals with a lot of violence. Anyhoo, they are like an old couple; silent while they eat, they fall asleep with the TV on, she is supportive of his painting and he brings her lunch at the police station. In fact, Marge is the breadwinner, but it never seems like a big deal. Norm is happy to stay at home with his painting, why should he care when he loves Marge so much.
That really isn't the main part of the film, but it is just one of those details that make it a great movie. If you haven't seen it, you really should.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Not Waiting For...
...my hard drive. I am typing this comfortably from my home.
...my bike. I got it back from it's tune-up yesterday and immediately took it for a ride and it was awesome. It was such a beautiful day yesterday. Perfect for a bike ride. But I did realize that the riders who ride the tenspeed bikes (I don't know what they're called) and wear spandex and have cartoonishly large calves get way more respect on the trails than other bikers. They drive me crazy. They scare me too.
I am however still waiting for my couch. My wonderful stick of butter is not here for me to lay on and I am starting to get a little anxious. I just want to see it, feel it, touch it and grace it with my sleeping body.
And this has nothing to do with waiting, but I talked to my best friend from high school and she filled me in on all this gossip. Lots of stuff had happened. It's weird to hear about people you know, but don't really know anymore.
...my bike. I got it back from it's tune-up yesterday and immediately took it for a ride and it was awesome. It was such a beautiful day yesterday. Perfect for a bike ride. But I did realize that the riders who ride the tenspeed bikes (I don't know what they're called) and wear spandex and have cartoonishly large calves get way more respect on the trails than other bikers. They drive me crazy. They scare me too.
I am however still waiting for my couch. My wonderful stick of butter is not here for me to lay on and I am starting to get a little anxious. I just want to see it, feel it, touch it and grace it with my sleeping body.
And this has nothing to do with waiting, but I talked to my best friend from high school and she filled me in on all this gossip. Lots of stuff had happened. It's weird to hear about people you know, but don't really know anymore.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Toes
I have a bruise under the toenail on my big toe. It looks weird and it’s taking forever to go away. I’m not sure how it happened; it’s almost as if it appeared out of nowhere. It’s actually quite tame compared to some other toe injuries I’ve had. I’ve had bad luck with my toes.
I had some stubbed toes that were probably broken as a kid, but the real trouble began in the spring of 1998. I was at a pool and well, yes, I had had a couple of cocktails, so sue me. Anyhoo, I stubbed my big toe on a pool ladder. It probably would’ve healed in well enough time, but that same night I went to a party, had a couple more cocktails, got mad at someone and walked six blocks home. I am sure that didn’t help the stubbed big toe at all. In fact, if I had been a smart 20 year old, I would’ve stayed home that night and let my big toe rest. But I think a smart 20 year old is just a myth.
Well it healed, but soon after the healing, I sort of slipped down a couple of steps going home for the weekend, and scrapped up the side of my ankle (I still have the scar). Everything was fine over the weekend, but when I got back to school and had to walk around campus, my toes all of a sudden started turning black and blue. I’ve never had a part of my body literally turn black and dark blue, but every single one of my toes did. Needless to say, it spooked me (a pothead) out. So I went to the Dr. and initially, he thought I had gout, which I thought was an old man’s disease. But I had some x-rays and they found out I tore some ligaments in my foot. So it wasn’t necessarily my toes, but they did look nasty for weeks.
I was pretty lucky in the toe department until late winter, 2004. I stubbed one toe on one foot on the door stop to my bathroom. That was normal. It healed in due time. But not long after that, I stubbed the same toe on the other foot. This time I was lifting one leg over a waist high wire and slammed my toes into the door frame. Looking back, that may have been the silliest stubbing occurrence. I mean, did I have to swing my leg with that much force? How badly did I need to get from the kitchen to the bedroom, which were the two rooms the wire happened to divide?
So now another toe is injured again, but I can’t give you a funny story because I don’t know how it happened. One day, I swear, they are going to get traumatized and just fall off.
(A computer update: I ordered a new hard drive. We took out the old one and it rattled. I don’t think hard drives are supposed to rattle. I should have the new one sometime next week.)
I had some stubbed toes that were probably broken as a kid, but the real trouble began in the spring of 1998. I was at a pool and well, yes, I had had a couple of cocktails, so sue me. Anyhoo, I stubbed my big toe on a pool ladder. It probably would’ve healed in well enough time, but that same night I went to a party, had a couple more cocktails, got mad at someone and walked six blocks home. I am sure that didn’t help the stubbed big toe at all. In fact, if I had been a smart 20 year old, I would’ve stayed home that night and let my big toe rest. But I think a smart 20 year old is just a myth.
Well it healed, but soon after the healing, I sort of slipped down a couple of steps going home for the weekend, and scrapped up the side of my ankle (I still have the scar). Everything was fine over the weekend, but when I got back to school and had to walk around campus, my toes all of a sudden started turning black and blue. I’ve never had a part of my body literally turn black and dark blue, but every single one of my toes did. Needless to say, it spooked me (a pothead) out. So I went to the Dr. and initially, he thought I had gout, which I thought was an old man’s disease. But I had some x-rays and they found out I tore some ligaments in my foot. So it wasn’t necessarily my toes, but they did look nasty for weeks.
I was pretty lucky in the toe department until late winter, 2004. I stubbed one toe on one foot on the door stop to my bathroom. That was normal. It healed in due time. But not long after that, I stubbed the same toe on the other foot. This time I was lifting one leg over a waist high wire and slammed my toes into the door frame. Looking back, that may have been the silliest stubbing occurrence. I mean, did I have to swing my leg with that much force? How badly did I need to get from the kitchen to the bedroom, which were the two rooms the wire happened to divide?
So now another toe is injured again, but I can’t give you a funny story because I don’t know how it happened. One day, I swear, they are going to get traumatized and just fall off.
(A computer update: I ordered a new hard drive. We took out the old one and it rattled. I don’t think hard drives are supposed to rattle. I should have the new one sometime next week.)
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
My Poor Computer
Witnesssuzy is not all that happy today. It appears I need a new hard drive for my home computer. I guess it could be worse, right? But I really like having a computer. I like being online. Well, maybe by going through this I will be able to curb some of this online addiction.
Anyhoo, it is scary when something happens to your computer and you’re not really sure why. I kept thinking, I can’t afford a new computer right now. And then my thoughts turned towards everything on my computer I would lose. I mean, most of my important files have been backed up. But I might lose a few pictures. I know I will lose a couple of songs from iTunes. I will lose the Yahtzee game I downloaded about a year ago. But, I was given a number to call that would supposedly help me recover some files. But I don’t understand computers. How can my files be recovered when I can even get the computer past the screen that says “no hard drive, strike F1 to reboot.”
Oh well, hopefully by this time next week, everything will be as it should be.
And no Lost tonight. I guess we will have to wait to see what Michael has to say. Actually I kind of liked the show without Michael. And did anyone else notice that he was all freaked out and scared, but in the previews he’s all tough. “We can take them. I will lead you to them.” Whatev Michael.
Anyhoo, it is scary when something happens to your computer and you’re not really sure why. I kept thinking, I can’t afford a new computer right now. And then my thoughts turned towards everything on my computer I would lose. I mean, most of my important files have been backed up. But I might lose a few pictures. I know I will lose a couple of songs from iTunes. I will lose the Yahtzee game I downloaded about a year ago. But, I was given a number to call that would supposedly help me recover some files. But I don’t understand computers. How can my files be recovered when I can even get the computer past the screen that says “no hard drive, strike F1 to reboot.”
Oh well, hopefully by this time next week, everything will be as it should be.
And no Lost tonight. I guess we will have to wait to see what Michael has to say. Actually I kind of liked the show without Michael. And did anyone else notice that he was all freaked out and scared, but in the previews he’s all tough. “We can take them. I will lead you to them.” Whatev Michael.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Three Days
Having a long weekend, while quite awesome, makes it kind of hard to get back in the swing of things. I really have not wanted to put my all into work today. And an unknown id keeps calling me. I answered once, but no one was there. Are my readers trying to stalk me? Well stop it if you are. It gets in the way of me half doing my work.
I did some research on bike shops so I could take my bike in for a tune-up and I found a Cycle Works in Maumee (I bought my bike from the Cycle Works in BG). I got on their website and it said that appointments were more appreciated than stopping in. So I called and said that I would like to make an appointment and the guy goes on to explain that although I was free to make an appointment, it really is first come, first serve, so it might be better to just drop it off. That actually works a lot better for me, but because I am a writer/editor in a business environment, I couldn't hold back from mentioning that what their website says about appointments conflicts with what he was actually telling me about appointments. He probably hated me, but I am a dork. And once I was with my friend who found glass in her Chinese food and we didn't send it back, so I am even with the world in terms of service?
Anyhoo, I have to get my bike all gussied up because the weather is beautiful and it is time to ride. AND I found a trail much closer to my house than the one in BG, although it is like the one in BG, old tracks paved over. I am grateful to whoever thought about doing that, because I like riding my bike on them.
PTT and I were talking about children coloring eggs for Easter the other day. I figured my nephews would be coloring eggs and I was right, they did. But they were doing it for the first time. Apparently their mother didn't have that tradition growing up. My nephews are 7 and 4. They loved coloring eggs. I guess that could be one good thing about divorce; with one parent you get to do things you've never done before. Hooray for broken families.
I did some research on bike shops so I could take my bike in for a tune-up and I found a Cycle Works in Maumee (I bought my bike from the Cycle Works in BG). I got on their website and it said that appointments were more appreciated than stopping in. So I called and said that I would like to make an appointment and the guy goes on to explain that although I was free to make an appointment, it really is first come, first serve, so it might be better to just drop it off. That actually works a lot better for me, but because I am a writer/editor in a business environment, I couldn't hold back from mentioning that what their website says about appointments conflicts with what he was actually telling me about appointments. He probably hated me, but I am a dork. And once I was with my friend who found glass in her Chinese food and we didn't send it back, so I am even with the world in terms of service?
Anyhoo, I have to get my bike all gussied up because the weather is beautiful and it is time to ride. AND I found a trail much closer to my house than the one in BG, although it is like the one in BG, old tracks paved over. I am grateful to whoever thought about doing that, because I like riding my bike on them.
PTT and I were talking about children coloring eggs for Easter the other day. I figured my nephews would be coloring eggs and I was right, they did. But they were doing it for the first time. Apparently their mother didn't have that tradition growing up. My nephews are 7 and 4. They loved coloring eggs. I guess that could be one good thing about divorce; with one parent you get to do things you've never done before. Hooray for broken families.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
I Wish Ben Lee Was in My Entourage...or Maybe I Wish I Was in His.
I've been watching "Entourage," a show Mark Wahlberg created about his experience as an actor with his own entourage. I like Marky Mark. He's super hot. He's not bad in movies, in fact I will go as far as to say I thought he was the best part of I Heart Huckabees. But the lead character on this show, the actor, the Marky Mark part is a little bitch. He's indecisive, apathetic and stupid. What a whiner. But very, very, very good looking. I would probably go and see Vincent Chase movies just because of that.
And celebrities are the most ridiculous people. I am assuming since Marky Mark is behind this show that it is pretty accurate and let me tell you about the celebrities on this show; they get whatever they want and are whiny. I think I almost feel sorry for them because they are so inept; they seem to be pretty worthless. And people go on the show and play themselves. I don't know what I would do if my beloved Clive Owen went on the show. But I really don't think he would.
###
Last night I had a dream that one of the girls in customer service came up with the idea that we turn our showroom into a coffee house and have performances and that would get people to buy shower doors. So they put some couches in the showroom and set up a stage, served some wraps, rice and cake and had Ben Lee perform. I was busy actually working when Ben Lee was performing, but when I was done, I went to meet him and he was gone and the couches and stage was gone, but the wraps, rice and cake remained. I was sad I missed meeting Ben Lee. I think he's cool.
In other words, dreams are weird.
And celebrities are the most ridiculous people. I am assuming since Marky Mark is behind this show that it is pretty accurate and let me tell you about the celebrities on this show; they get whatever they want and are whiny. I think I almost feel sorry for them because they are so inept; they seem to be pretty worthless. And people go on the show and play themselves. I don't know what I would do if my beloved Clive Owen went on the show. But I really don't think he would.
###
Last night I had a dream that one of the girls in customer service came up with the idea that we turn our showroom into a coffee house and have performances and that would get people to buy shower doors. So they put some couches in the showroom and set up a stage, served some wraps, rice and cake and had Ben Lee perform. I was busy actually working when Ben Lee was performing, but when I was done, I went to meet him and he was gone and the couches and stage was gone, but the wraps, rice and cake remained. I was sad I missed meeting Ben Lee. I think he's cool.
In other words, dreams are weird.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
23
23 must be an important age for musicians. I've heard it mentioned in two songs. One is, "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 ("Nobody loves you when you're 23…") and the other is "Dancing Nancies" by the Dave Matthews Band ("23 and so tired of life, such a shame to throw it all away…"). They both have kind of negative connotations. I mean, I wonder if the number just fit and that's how it got into the song, or if it is a really important meaning to the song.
I just did a google search and Jimmy Eat World wrote a song titled, "23" and guess what…it isn't a happy song. It's about love and regret (or at least that's what I got from reading the lyrics). I think this is a strange phenomenon. Is 23 a mystical number?
I remember when I was 23 and I listened to "Dancing Nancies" a lot (it's still my favorite DMB song) and I loved the line about being 23. I remember my friend Chandy and I and her friend Matt sang that song at the top of our lungs one summer at her house. I graduated from college when I was 23. I made the second biggest move of my life when I was 23. 23 was a milestone year for me. Maybe I should write a song.
Actually, if I could go back and live a summer, I wouldn't mind going back and being 23 again.
I just did a google search and Jimmy Eat World wrote a song titled, "23" and guess what…it isn't a happy song. It's about love and regret (or at least that's what I got from reading the lyrics). I think this is a strange phenomenon. Is 23 a mystical number?
I remember when I was 23 and I listened to "Dancing Nancies" a lot (it's still my favorite DMB song) and I loved the line about being 23. I remember my friend Chandy and I and her friend Matt sang that song at the top of our lungs one summer at her house. I graduated from college when I was 23. I made the second biggest move of my life when I was 23. 23 was a milestone year for me. Maybe I should write a song.
Actually, if I could go back and live a summer, I wouldn't mind going back and being 23 again.
Easter Pretzels
This morning I was watching the news and there was a story about using credit cards and they used some really old stock footage for it. For example, they used footage of the machine where you put your credit card on the carbon paper and slide the thing over it. And then they showed an ancient looking cash register and the cashier had to manually press all the numbers of the credit card. Now if I remember correctly, it's been a long time since stores have used either of those methods to "swipe" credit cards. It wouldn't hurt channel 13 to perhaps shoot some new stock footage, because even though in a year it might be outdated, it would still look better than what they have. No?
I was just reading CNN.com and it had an article about the 50 best jobs in the United States. They based it not only on salary, but stress level and future growth. A technical writer ranked 13 on the list and an editor ranked 19. Writers didn't do to badly; they ranked 25 and some form of advertising/public relations job showed up on the list three times. This makes me a happy, happy camper. And some of you who read this should be happy campers too. College professors were ranked 2 nd. However, you all realize that next year they are going to do the same poll and none of these jobs will make it on there. Life is funny that way.
I am going to be making my world famous strawberry pretzel pie for Easter. And I think I shall keep with the pretzel dessert theme and make some chocolate dipped pretzel rods and this time, I might actually get some candy or something to sprinkle the chocolate in.
I was trying to remember how I spent Easter when I was in college. Because I didn't live close to my family, so I didn't have to go home. But it was never like Thanksgiving where a bunch of my friends would get together for a dinner. So I am lead to believe that I didn't do anything out of the ordinary. It is actually kind of annoying that I can't remember even one Easter out of seven years. Sometimes I wish I hadn't smoked so much pot in college, I might actually have some memories.
I was just reading CNN.com and it had an article about the 50 best jobs in the United States. They based it not only on salary, but stress level and future growth. A technical writer ranked 13 on the list and an editor ranked 19. Writers didn't do to badly; they ranked 25 and some form of advertising/public relations job showed up on the list three times. This makes me a happy, happy camper. And some of you who read this should be happy campers too. College professors were ranked 2 nd. However, you all realize that next year they are going to do the same poll and none of these jobs will make it on there. Life is funny that way.
I am going to be making my world famous strawberry pretzel pie for Easter. And I think I shall keep with the pretzel dessert theme and make some chocolate dipped pretzel rods and this time, I might actually get some candy or something to sprinkle the chocolate in.
I was trying to remember how I spent Easter when I was in college. Because I didn't live close to my family, so I didn't have to go home. But it was never like Thanksgiving where a bunch of my friends would get together for a dinner. So I am lead to believe that I didn't do anything out of the ordinary. It is actually kind of annoying that I can't remember even one Easter out of seven years. Sometimes I wish I hadn't smoked so much pot in college, I might actually have some memories.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
A Blurb From My Memoirs
Here's a memory.
When I was in elementary school I rode the bus. I was observant, so I kind of knew the names of the other kids who rode the bus. Like there was this older boy Scott. He was in 5 th or 6th grade.
Anyhoo, one day I was in the lunch room. It must have been early in the year because I was wearing a nametag. Scott and some other older boys walked past me and read my nametag and said, "Hi Witnesssuzy." And I just said, "Hi Scott," back. Those kids freaked out because they didn't understand how I knew his name. He never noticed me on the bus and he got my name from my nametag. He practically shit his pants in surprise.
When I was in elementary school I rode the bus. I was observant, so I kind of knew the names of the other kids who rode the bus. Like there was this older boy Scott. He was in 5 th or 6th grade.
Anyhoo, one day I was in the lunch room. It must have been early in the year because I was wearing a nametag. Scott and some other older boys walked past me and read my nametag and said, "Hi Witnesssuzy." And I just said, "Hi Scott," back. Those kids freaked out because they didn't understand how I knew his name. He never noticed me on the bus and he got my name from my nametag. He practically shit his pants in surprise.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Today...UHHHH
Today was one of those days at work that I am glad I am not a Dr. I would've killed someone for sure.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
A Jack Tale
As many of you know, my nephews provide a great deal of entertainment for me and my family. Yesterday was no different. We were playing April Fool's tricks and yelling, "April Fools." All of a sudden, Jack drops his pants and yells, "Tirck or Treat!"
Oddly enough, that's the stuff that makes me think I should have at least one.
Oddly enough, that's the stuff that makes me think I should have at least one.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Drugs, Nephews and Earl
When I was at my parent’s house last weekend when I was sick, they tried giving me lots of drugs. Well, they didn’t have to try. I pretty much took them willingly. It went from, “Here’s a strong decongestant” to “Do you want something to help you sleep, we’ve got Ambien.” Heck I even got a little baggie of Tylenol because I was running out.
I never leave without something. Sometimes it’s leftovers, sometimes it’s sleeping pills.
In other news, one of my nephews turns 7 tomorrow. When I found out he was born I was on Spring Break in Lake Havasu, AZ. Spring Break 99…literally. I can’t believe that he is that old. He’s a very sweet and sensitive boy. And can belch on command and makes really good, juicy fart noises.
Ok, so like the African guy on last night’s My Name is Earl says, “Seacrest Out.”
I never leave without something. Sometimes it’s leftovers, sometimes it’s sleeping pills.
In other news, one of my nephews turns 7 tomorrow. When I found out he was born I was on Spring Break in Lake Havasu, AZ. Spring Break 99…literally. I can’t believe that he is that old. He’s a very sweet and sensitive boy. And can belch on command and makes really good, juicy fart noises.
Ok, so like the African guy on last night’s My Name is Earl says, “Seacrest Out.”
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Do Not Read This if You Did Not Watch Lost Last Night, But Still Plan To
I was thinking about Lost last night before I fell asleep and I had so many thoughts about it, like how all the roles have seemed to change. Like Locke used to be the Zen, "nothing bothers me" guy. Now he is a little pansy. And Sawyer…well, ever since that ludicrous episode where Sawyer appears from the jungle claiming to be king, he’s become somewhat of a joke. You can feel it all over that island. People don’t fear him, they laugh at him. And Jack has become a combination of the old Locke and Sawyer. He seems to just deal, until he is forced to pull out some old Vegas tricks to make Sawyer look like an ass. Jack is turning into all sorts of yummy, yummy.
But here’s what really got me about last night’s episode: Sayid and etc. find the balloon and the grave, and although everyone has the same feeling that Henry Gale is a total "other," you would think that the group would just give in. His story was true. Sigh, that sucks. I mean, I would never think to dig up a grave for proof. But Sayid is crazy intense. He would dig up a grave and search through a rotting corpse’s body to find the license before he would give up the chance to torture some more. Take this memo: never piss off Sayid or appear shifty. He would probably rip the head off a kitten with his mouth to prove you wrong.
Oh and what is up with that black light stuff on the walls? Lost is sooo crazy. I love it.
But here’s what really got me about last night’s episode: Sayid and etc. find the balloon and the grave, and although everyone has the same feeling that Henry Gale is a total "other," you would think that the group would just give in. His story was true. Sigh, that sucks. I mean, I would never think to dig up a grave for proof. But Sayid is crazy intense. He would dig up a grave and search through a rotting corpse’s body to find the license before he would give up the chance to torture some more. Take this memo: never piss off Sayid or appear shifty. He would probably rip the head off a kitten with his mouth to prove you wrong.
Oh and what is up with that black light stuff on the walls? Lost is sooo crazy. I love it.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Just for Fun
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/03/28/rejected.greeting.cards.ap/index.html
This article is about Shoebox Greeting Cards and greeting card ideas that are not approved.
My favorite unapproved greeting card was a Christmas card.
On the outside:
"Christmas just isn't the same without peanut brittle."
On the inside:
"Or Jesus."
I would TOTALLY send that card.
This article is about Shoebox Greeting Cards and greeting card ideas that are not approved.
My favorite unapproved greeting card was a Christmas card.
On the outside:
"Christmas just isn't the same without peanut brittle."
On the inside:
"Or Jesus."
I would TOTALLY send that card.
Friday, March 24, 2006
I Swear, I am not on Drugs
This morning I woke up with a need to cough and when I did, my throat felt as though I had swallowed razor blades. So I took some Tylenol and then stopped and got some cough syrup and immediately took it when I got to work.
I don't like to use the little dosage cups they give you. They become sticky and gross and I don't have a sink near me to rinse it out and really, they just harbor germs, so I drink it straight from the bottle. Usually just a swig, but this morning my throat hurt so bad that I took two.
Long story short, I took too much cough medicine and got fucked up.
It was weird. It wasn't like being drunk (because it is alcohol free), it is kind of like smoking pot, but not really. I would move my head and it felt like my head was following me. Everything was fuzzy. I thought sitting still and using my fingers to prop my eyes open wider would help, but it didn't, didn't really at all. I just kept thinking, "What the fuck am I going to do if someone calls me?"
But I got work done, it just felt weird to do it. Like for every word I typed or placed on a document, I would have to take four minutes to freak out. It was weird.
And after about two hours, I started feeling better. Everything became clearer.
It's been a long time since I've been at work high as a kite.
But at least the cough and sore throat are gone.
I don't like to use the little dosage cups they give you. They become sticky and gross and I don't have a sink near me to rinse it out and really, they just harbor germs, so I drink it straight from the bottle. Usually just a swig, but this morning my throat hurt so bad that I took two.
Long story short, I took too much cough medicine and got fucked up.
It was weird. It wasn't like being drunk (because it is alcohol free), it is kind of like smoking pot, but not really. I would move my head and it felt like my head was following me. Everything was fuzzy. I thought sitting still and using my fingers to prop my eyes open wider would help, but it didn't, didn't really at all. I just kept thinking, "What the fuck am I going to do if someone calls me?"
But I got work done, it just felt weird to do it. Like for every word I typed or placed on a document, I would have to take four minutes to freak out. It was weird.
And after about two hours, I started feeling better. Everything became clearer.
It's been a long time since I've been at work high as a kite.
But at least the cough and sore throat are gone.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Vegas, Baby, Vegas! Unfortunately the Journey Must End
I did not wake up with much of a hangover on Sunday, so that was good. My feet did hurt though. But I pushed through and got ready and packed so we could check out, figure out what to do with our bags and bus it down to the end of the strip to see the casinos there.
Our hotel held on to our bags while we went out that day. That was cool.
Our first stop that day was New York, New York. It was built to seem like you were in New York. It was cool, but obviously I didn't feel like I had visited two cities at once or anything. But it did have a roller coaster, but I am not a big roller coaster fan so, I just gambled a little, had some lunch, and a couple of beers. This was becoming my usual routine in casinos.
Ok, here is one weird thing. I had no idea what to expect in Vegas. I had absolutely no preconceived notions. But, I was looking forward to going to the MGM Grand casino. I am not sure why, maybe because big events are often held there or because it has the word grand in it, but I was disappointed by it. It didn't even have the fancy shops there like that other ones. Did I see Chanel there? No. Did I see Gucci or Armani? No. I saw the Cirque du Soleil store. And the main thing it sold was yoga clothes, but I was able to tell Patti what poses the mannequins were in.
We left the MGM Grand and were on our way to the M&M Store when we saw a bar. We stopped in. We had a couple of beers and started talking to these really funny guys and that was exactly the pick me up I needed from the disappointing MGM Grand. After we left there we went the M&M Store. ( I don't think I have yet mentioned that you can drink anywhere in Las Vegas. Walking down the street, in stores. It is pretty amazing.) So after the M&M store, we saw the guys we had been drinking with earlier and they were drinking beer out of a large plastic guitar. Well, we hunted that down and got one. And basically after that…we just kept refilling them as we made our way back to our own hotel.
Honestly, the drunkest I got that weekend was Sunday. I was completely shit-faced by the time we got back to our hotel. Some of that may have to do with the fact that I hadn't eaten since11:30 and it was nearing 7. Or it may have just been all the beer I drank.
We grab our stuff and get a taxi to the airport. We got something quick to eat and I finally boarded my plane at 11:30 p.m., 2:30 a.m. our time. Well, you know how I said in installment one that drinking and flying doesn't work so much for me? Well it really doesn't work when I am completely fucked up and flying. There is nothing worse than starting to get a hangover while in flight. And it was definitely not helpful that when I went to the bathroom I opened a door and there was some guy taking a dump. He yelled, "Hey!" And I think I yelled, "OH MY GOD." And then slammed the door shut. The flight attendant actually laughed and said, "He should've locked the door."
Anyhoo, and this is the end of my story. I arrived in Detroit at 6 am and drove home. And pretty much slept all day, but I am still tired and can't wait for this weekend so I can sleep some more.
And here's the moral of the story, have fun, it's Vegas. And if you walk everywhere, you don't have to worry about gaining weight. I drank a gazillion beers while I was there, ate all sorts of good food and McDonalds and I lost a pound while I was there.
And now back to your regularly scheduled program.
Our hotel held on to our bags while we went out that day. That was cool.
Our first stop that day was New York, New York. It was built to seem like you were in New York. It was cool, but obviously I didn't feel like I had visited two cities at once or anything. But it did have a roller coaster, but I am not a big roller coaster fan so, I just gambled a little, had some lunch, and a couple of beers. This was becoming my usual routine in casinos.
Ok, here is one weird thing. I had no idea what to expect in Vegas. I had absolutely no preconceived notions. But, I was looking forward to going to the MGM Grand casino. I am not sure why, maybe because big events are often held there or because it has the word grand in it, but I was disappointed by it. It didn't even have the fancy shops there like that other ones. Did I see Chanel there? No. Did I see Gucci or Armani? No. I saw the Cirque du Soleil store. And the main thing it sold was yoga clothes, but I was able to tell Patti what poses the mannequins were in.
We left the MGM Grand and were on our way to the M&M Store when we saw a bar. We stopped in. We had a couple of beers and started talking to these really funny guys and that was exactly the pick me up I needed from the disappointing MGM Grand. After we left there we went the M&M Store. ( I don't think I have yet mentioned that you can drink anywhere in Las Vegas. Walking down the street, in stores. It is pretty amazing.) So after the M&M store, we saw the guys we had been drinking with earlier and they were drinking beer out of a large plastic guitar. Well, we hunted that down and got one. And basically after that…we just kept refilling them as we made our way back to our own hotel.
Honestly, the drunkest I got that weekend was Sunday. I was completely shit-faced by the time we got back to our hotel. Some of that may have to do with the fact that I hadn't eaten since11:30 and it was nearing 7. Or it may have just been all the beer I drank.
We grab our stuff and get a taxi to the airport. We got something quick to eat and I finally boarded my plane at 11:30 p.m., 2:30 a.m. our time. Well, you know how I said in installment one that drinking and flying doesn't work so much for me? Well it really doesn't work when I am completely fucked up and flying. There is nothing worse than starting to get a hangover while in flight. And it was definitely not helpful that when I went to the bathroom I opened a door and there was some guy taking a dump. He yelled, "Hey!" And I think I yelled, "OH MY GOD." And then slammed the door shut. The flight attendant actually laughed and said, "He should've locked the door."
Anyhoo, and this is the end of my story. I arrived in Detroit at 6 am and drove home. And pretty much slept all day, but I am still tired and can't wait for this weekend so I can sleep some more.
And here's the moral of the story, have fun, it's Vegas. And if you walk everywhere, you don't have to worry about gaining weight. I drank a gazillion beers while I was there, ate all sorts of good food and McDonalds and I lost a pound while I was there.
And now back to your regularly scheduled program.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Vegas, Baby, Vegas: The Journey Continues
Saturday was a big, big day. I woke up with a terrible hangover, but had some breakfast and about a hundred Tylenols and we were off. We walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked. It didn't seem like we walked as much as we did because we would go in and out of casinos looking around. And sometimes we didn't have to walk because they had people movers in the street. And the people movers went over hills; it was kind of freaky. I think my favorite casino was Paris . It was very pretty and it was like being inside the Eiffel Tower. I liked it even though I lost money there, because really, I lost money at all the casinos, except Mandaley Bay, where I won $2.50. But I did pay $6 for a Miller Light there, so in the end, I lost there too.
Anyhoo, because we're not big gamblers, we decided to go to Madame Toussaud's Wax Museum and it was weird. These wax people look scary real. I was afraid to touch them because I was afraid they were going to touch me. Like Princess Diana was going to spring to life and grab my hand. I saw a guy take his picture with J. Lo and he was all over her wax ass. You could also put on a wedding dress and pretend you are marrying George Clooney. They even had a wax minister, but I of course, would take no part in that.
Madame Toussaud's Wax Museum was only about half way up the strip, and that is when our feet started to ache a little bit. (ok, I'll be honest. A lot of my walking was going to the bathrooms. I wonder how hung-over I really was because I pee'd all day long. I know where every bathroom in every casino is. If you go, I will draw you a map.) We headed across the street to Cesar's Palace and had a frozen, slushy-like tropical drink. It was refreshing. But anyway, I think Cesar's is the largest casino because it has like, nine buildings. And the outside is super tacky. And no, I did not see Celine Dion, but I saw the coliseum they built for her to perform in. I did however see a singing fountain show that used animatronics, which made me think of Rodney. It had water and steam and fire, which I could feel the heat from. Let's just say that Vegas doesn't do anything half-assed.
We decided to walk back to our hotel, not take the bus, which in hindsight, I wish we had done. When we got back, I managed to take a 45 minute nap. I know, I know, I cheated in Vegas, but I am old and it felt good.
When we went back down to the main part of the strip to see the Treasure Island show, we did take the bus, because even though we stopped walking for a bit, our feet hurt twice as much by then. Ok, the Treasure Island show was this close to being porn on fake pirate ships. I couldn't believe some people brought their kids, and it wasn't even that cool; no tricks or anything. Probably the most disappointing part of the whole trip.
Our feet made us take a taxi to Mandalay Bay, where the Flogging Molly concert was at the House of Blues. We had several taxi drivers over the course of the weekend, but this one was the best. He sang "God Bless America." Out of nowhere, just started singing. He didn't really have a good voice, so we didn't tip him extra. We had a quick dinner, stood in many lines and finally got in, where we paid $30 for two Miller Lights and two shots of Jager. Haha. I drank my one beer and didn't drink again until after the show, my friend slammed four Guinnesses. The show was fucking awesome. They always put on an amazing show. I've seen them before, but, and never really thought the lead singer was all that good looking (I've always had a thing for the mandolin player), but Saturday night, there was something really sexy about him. I mean, kind of dorky, but sexy none the less.
So the show ended and I had a lot of drinking to do to catch up with my friend, Drunky McDrunkerson and while searching for a beer, we saw the mandolin player, who is actually, Shorty McMandolin Player, and I think he might've heard me say that, because he kind of gave me a dirty look. And there went my dreams of becoming Mrs. Shorty McMandolin Player.
Anyhoo, we eventually made our way to the Excalibur, although it was hard for me because even though my feet hurt earlier, I made a terrible shoe decision, so my feet hurt a hundred times as much as before. Plus they had been stepped on at the concert. But the weirdest thing happened; after a couple of beers and an enormous shot of Goldshlagger, my feet felt fine and walking was not even a problem. Anyhoo, we ended up at the Bellagio, which is where Ocean's 11 took place. I kept waiting for Matt Damon or Brad Pitt or even those guys who were brothers to appear. But they didn't. I did see the fountain that is featured at the end. And the music is the same too.
And that is where we ended the night. Actually we ended the night at McDonalds, but whatever. And me and my swollen feet hit the hay to rest up for another exciting day.
On the next, "Vegas, Baby, Vegas:" More Beer and More Walking (Will My Feet Ever Recover?)
Anyhoo, because we're not big gamblers, we decided to go to Madame Toussaud's Wax Museum and it was weird. These wax people look scary real. I was afraid to touch them because I was afraid they were going to touch me. Like Princess Diana was going to spring to life and grab my hand. I saw a guy take his picture with J. Lo and he was all over her wax ass. You could also put on a wedding dress and pretend you are marrying George Clooney. They even had a wax minister, but I of course, would take no part in that.
Madame Toussaud's Wax Museum was only about half way up the strip, and that is when our feet started to ache a little bit. (ok, I'll be honest. A lot of my walking was going to the bathrooms. I wonder how hung-over I really was because I pee'd all day long. I know where every bathroom in every casino is. If you go, I will draw you a map.) We headed across the street to Cesar's Palace and had a frozen, slushy-like tropical drink. It was refreshing. But anyway, I think Cesar's is the largest casino because it has like, nine buildings. And the outside is super tacky. And no, I did not see Celine Dion, but I saw the coliseum they built for her to perform in. I did however see a singing fountain show that used animatronics, which made me think of Rodney. It had water and steam and fire, which I could feel the heat from. Let's just say that Vegas doesn't do anything half-assed.
We decided to walk back to our hotel, not take the bus, which in hindsight, I wish we had done. When we got back, I managed to take a 45 minute nap. I know, I know, I cheated in Vegas, but I am old and it felt good.
When we went back down to the main part of the strip to see the Treasure Island show, we did take the bus, because even though we stopped walking for a bit, our feet hurt twice as much by then. Ok, the Treasure Island show was this close to being porn on fake pirate ships. I couldn't believe some people brought their kids, and it wasn't even that cool; no tricks or anything. Probably the most disappointing part of the whole trip.
Our feet made us take a taxi to Mandalay Bay, where the Flogging Molly concert was at the House of Blues. We had several taxi drivers over the course of the weekend, but this one was the best. He sang "God Bless America." Out of nowhere, just started singing. He didn't really have a good voice, so we didn't tip him extra. We had a quick dinner, stood in many lines and finally got in, where we paid $30 for two Miller Lights and two shots of Jager. Haha. I drank my one beer and didn't drink again until after the show, my friend slammed four Guinnesses. The show was fucking awesome. They always put on an amazing show. I've seen them before, but, and never really thought the lead singer was all that good looking (I've always had a thing for the mandolin player), but Saturday night, there was something really sexy about him. I mean, kind of dorky, but sexy none the less.
So the show ended and I had a lot of drinking to do to catch up with my friend, Drunky McDrunkerson and while searching for a beer, we saw the mandolin player, who is actually, Shorty McMandolin Player, and I think he might've heard me say that, because he kind of gave me a dirty look. And there went my dreams of becoming Mrs. Shorty McMandolin Player.
Anyhoo, we eventually made our way to the Excalibur, although it was hard for me because even though my feet hurt earlier, I made a terrible shoe decision, so my feet hurt a hundred times as much as before. Plus they had been stepped on at the concert. But the weirdest thing happened; after a couple of beers and an enormous shot of Goldshlagger, my feet felt fine and walking was not even a problem. Anyhoo, we ended up at the Bellagio, which is where Ocean's 11 took place. I kept waiting for Matt Damon or Brad Pitt or even those guys who were brothers to appear. But they didn't. I did see the fountain that is featured at the end. And the music is the same too.
And that is where we ended the night. Actually we ended the night at McDonalds, but whatever. And me and my swollen feet hit the hay to rest up for another exciting day.
On the next, "Vegas, Baby, Vegas:" More Beer and More Walking (Will My Feet Ever Recover?)
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Vegas, Baby Vegas: The Journey Begins
So I know the old adage is "What goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas," but I'll tell you about my trip. I mean, I'll admit, I might not tell you everything, but I'll give you some good stuff.
I actually met up with my friend Patti in Phoenix. That was cool. It was weird seeing someone that you haven't seen in 3 and a half years across the room. For a few seconds I was like, "Is that Patti? Is that her?" But it was, so I switched seats with this guy so Patti and I could sit together and we ordered beers to chug because the flight is only 45 minutes long. I had my first in-flight beer. Seriously, my first. Some of you out there might think that odd for me. Or at least Patti did. It's just that I don't like drinking and flying all that much because it makes me feel kind of sick (and that feeling will come into play much later in the story), but this beer wasn't too bad.
After a 25 minute wait in an orderly line for a cab (this town loves its orderly lines) we head to our hotel, The Riviera, on the strip. As we drive to it, I can see all the lights and billboards and escalators. It is a very exciting looking city. I mean, I don't think I said anything on the ride because I was too busy staring.
Once we get to the hotel, Patti checks us in; I am still too busy staring because there are loud slot machines everywhere and people everywhere and it is hard to explain. But we chill for a tad in the room, drinking beers while I change my clothes and get ready. Then we head downtown, which is not the main strip. I guess it is the old part of Las Vegas; I am not too sure on that. But anyhoo, this strip downtown is covered in an awning and every hour on the hour (this city also loves doing everything on the hour) there is a light show. It's rad, it looks like the sky is images on a movie screen. And well, basically, we just drank our way in and out of casinos. We did drink beer out of a clear plastic football. That was a bad decision much later in the night after we did something else…that's a part that stays in Vegas.
Stay tuned for the next installment of my Vegas Trip, "Vegas, Baby, Vegas Part II: My Feet Hurt Really Bad, But Beer Can Fix Anything"
I actually met up with my friend Patti in Phoenix. That was cool. It was weird seeing someone that you haven't seen in 3 and a half years across the room. For a few seconds I was like, "Is that Patti? Is that her?" But it was, so I switched seats with this guy so Patti and I could sit together and we ordered beers to chug because the flight is only 45 minutes long. I had my first in-flight beer. Seriously, my first. Some of you out there might think that odd for me. Or at least Patti did. It's just that I don't like drinking and flying all that much because it makes me feel kind of sick (and that feeling will come into play much later in the story), but this beer wasn't too bad.
After a 25 minute wait in an orderly line for a cab (this town loves its orderly lines) we head to our hotel, The Riviera, on the strip. As we drive to it, I can see all the lights and billboards and escalators. It is a very exciting looking city. I mean, I don't think I said anything on the ride because I was too busy staring.
Once we get to the hotel, Patti checks us in; I am still too busy staring because there are loud slot machines everywhere and people everywhere and it is hard to explain. But we chill for a tad in the room, drinking beers while I change my clothes and get ready. Then we head downtown, which is not the main strip. I guess it is the old part of Las Vegas; I am not too sure on that. But anyhoo, this strip downtown is covered in an awning and every hour on the hour (this city also loves doing everything on the hour) there is a light show. It's rad, it looks like the sky is images on a movie screen. And well, basically, we just drank our way in and out of casinos. We did drink beer out of a clear plastic football. That was a bad decision much later in the night after we did something else…that's a part that stays in Vegas.
Stay tuned for the next installment of my Vegas Trip, "Vegas, Baby, Vegas Part II: My Feet Hurt Really Bad, But Beer Can Fix Anything"
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Never a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride
Finally got my book on Photoshop and I have learned soooooo much in just one day. I always knew that Photoshop rocked, but I now I believe it to FUCKING rock. It is amazing what can be done. Hooray for Photoshop. I am going to organize a parade.
Robin was here for the past two days and it was really great to see her and hangout. I can't believe she is gone for who knows how long now…summer or fall…either way it is too far away. But while she was here, I stayed out late. On Monday night I didn't get home until 9:30 and last night it was 10:20. I was such a rebel.
Congratulations are in order to my friend Laura in Seattle. She is engaged to be married. I am very excited for her because I know this guy is very important to her.
But I am about to sound like a total cliché and say that it makes me wonder if it will ever happen to me. Especially when Laura is like the fifth person I've known in the past 2 weeks to have some sort of important relationship news. Maybe if it came a little bit at a time I would feel better, but I get it all at once. And this is probably the way it is going to be. More and more people are going to send me emails or call me and say they are engaged. But who knows if I'll ever get that chance. And I can't even say "always a bridesmaid, never a bride," because no one asks me to be a bridesmaid either.
And I realize I kind of sound like an asshole, taking the spotlight from my friends, but screw it, today I am going to be selfish. I'll make up for it by buying them an expensive wedding gift.
Robin was here for the past two days and it was really great to see her and hangout. I can't believe she is gone for who knows how long now…summer or fall…either way it is too far away. But while she was here, I stayed out late. On Monday night I didn't get home until 9:30 and last night it was 10:20. I was such a rebel.
Congratulations are in order to my friend Laura in Seattle. She is engaged to be married. I am very excited for her because I know this guy is very important to her.
But I am about to sound like a total cliché and say that it makes me wonder if it will ever happen to me. Especially when Laura is like the fifth person I've known in the past 2 weeks to have some sort of important relationship news. Maybe if it came a little bit at a time I would feel better, but I get it all at once. And this is probably the way it is going to be. More and more people are going to send me emails or call me and say they are engaged. But who knows if I'll ever get that chance. And I can't even say "always a bridesmaid, never a bride," because no one asks me to be a bridesmaid either.
And I realize I kind of sound like an asshole, taking the spotlight from my friends, but screw it, today I am going to be selfish. I'll make up for it by buying them an expensive wedding gift.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)