Saturday was a big, big day. I woke up with a terrible hangover, but had some breakfast and about a hundred Tylenols and we were off. We walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked. It didn't seem like we walked as much as we did because we would go in and out of casinos looking around. And sometimes we didn't have to walk because they had people movers in the street. And the people movers went over hills; it was kind of freaky. I think my favorite casino was Paris . It was very pretty and it was like being inside the Eiffel Tower. I liked it even though I lost money there, because really, I lost money at all the casinos, except Mandaley Bay, where I won $2.50. But I did pay $6 for a Miller Light there, so in the end, I lost there too.
Anyhoo, because we're not big gamblers, we decided to go to Madame Toussaud's Wax Museum and it was weird. These wax people look scary real. I was afraid to touch them because I was afraid they were going to touch me. Like Princess Diana was going to spring to life and grab my hand. I saw a guy take his picture with J. Lo and he was all over her wax ass. You could also put on a wedding dress and pretend you are marrying George Clooney. They even had a wax minister, but I of course, would take no part in that.
Madame Toussaud's Wax Museum was only about half way up the strip, and that is when our feet started to ache a little bit. (ok, I'll be honest. A lot of my walking was going to the bathrooms. I wonder how hung-over I really was because I pee'd all day long. I know where every bathroom in every casino is. If you go, I will draw you a map.) We headed across the street to Cesar's Palace and had a frozen, slushy-like tropical drink. It was refreshing. But anyway, I think Cesar's is the largest casino because it has like, nine buildings. And the outside is super tacky. And no, I did not see Celine Dion, but I saw the coliseum they built for her to perform in. I did however see a singing fountain show that used animatronics, which made me think of Rodney. It had water and steam and fire, which I could feel the heat from. Let's just say that Vegas doesn't do anything half-assed.
We decided to walk back to our hotel, not take the bus, which in hindsight, I wish we had done. When we got back, I managed to take a 45 minute nap. I know, I know, I cheated in Vegas, but I am old and it felt good.
When we went back down to the main part of the strip to see the Treasure Island show, we did take the bus, because even though we stopped walking for a bit, our feet hurt twice as much by then. Ok, the Treasure Island show was this close to being porn on fake pirate ships. I couldn't believe some people brought their kids, and it wasn't even that cool; no tricks or anything. Probably the most disappointing part of the whole trip.
Our feet made us take a taxi to Mandalay Bay, where the Flogging Molly concert was at the House of Blues. We had several taxi drivers over the course of the weekend, but this one was the best. He sang "God Bless America." Out of nowhere, just started singing. He didn't really have a good voice, so we didn't tip him extra. We had a quick dinner, stood in many lines and finally got in, where we paid $30 for two Miller Lights and two shots of Jager. Haha. I drank my one beer and didn't drink again until after the show, my friend slammed four Guinnesses. The show was fucking awesome. They always put on an amazing show. I've seen them before, but, and never really thought the lead singer was all that good looking (I've always had a thing for the mandolin player), but Saturday night, there was something really sexy about him. I mean, kind of dorky, but sexy none the less.
So the show ended and I had a lot of drinking to do to catch up with my friend, Drunky McDrunkerson and while searching for a beer, we saw the mandolin player, who is actually, Shorty McMandolin Player, and I think he might've heard me say that, because he kind of gave me a dirty look. And there went my dreams of becoming Mrs. Shorty McMandolin Player.
Anyhoo, we eventually made our way to the Excalibur, although it was hard for me because even though my feet hurt earlier, I made a terrible shoe decision, so my feet hurt a hundred times as much as before. Plus they had been stepped on at the concert. But the weirdest thing happened; after a couple of beers and an enormous shot of Goldshlagger, my feet felt fine and walking was not even a problem. Anyhoo, we ended up at the Bellagio, which is where Ocean's 11 took place. I kept waiting for Matt Damon or Brad Pitt or even those guys who were brothers to appear. But they didn't. I did see the fountain that is featured at the end. And the music is the same too.
And that is where we ended the night. Actually we ended the night at McDonalds, but whatever. And me and my swollen feet hit the hay to rest up for another exciting day.
On the next, "Vegas, Baby, Vegas:" More Beer and More Walking (Will My Feet Ever Recover?)
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