Toes

I have a bruise under the toenail on my big toe. It looks weird and it’s taking forever to go away. I’m not sure how it happened; it’s almost as if it appeared out of nowhere. It’s actually quite tame compared to some other toe injuries I’ve had. I’ve had bad luck with my toes.

I had some stubbed toes that were probably broken as a kid, but the real trouble began in the spring of 1998. I was at a pool and well, yes, I had had a couple of cocktails, so sue me. Anyhoo, I stubbed my big toe on a pool ladder. It probably would’ve healed in well enough time, but that same night I went to a party, had a couple more cocktails, got mad at someone and walked six blocks home. I am sure that didn’t help the stubbed big toe at all. In fact, if I had been a smart 20 year old, I would’ve stayed home that night and let my big toe rest. But I think a smart 20 year old is just a myth.

Well it healed, but soon after the healing, I sort of slipped down a couple of steps going home for the weekend, and scrapped up the side of my ankle (I still have the scar). Everything was fine over the weekend, but when I got back to school and had to walk around campus, my toes all of a sudden started turning black and blue. I’ve never had a part of my body literally turn black and dark blue, but every single one of my toes did. Needless to say, it spooked me (a pothead) out. So I went to the Dr. and initially, he thought I had gout, which I thought was an old man’s disease. But I had some x-rays and they found out I tore some ligaments in my foot. So it wasn’t necessarily my toes, but they did look nasty for weeks.

I was pretty lucky in the toe department until late winter, 2004. I stubbed one toe on one foot on the door stop to my bathroom. That was normal. It healed in due time. But not long after that, I stubbed the same toe on the other foot. This time I was lifting one leg over a waist high wire and slammed my toes into the door frame. Looking back, that may have been the silliest stubbing occurrence. I mean, did I have to swing my leg with that much force? How badly did I need to get from the kitchen to the bedroom, which were the two rooms the wire happened to divide?

So now another toe is injured again, but I can’t give you a funny story because I don’t know how it happened. One day, I swear, they are going to get traumatized and just fall off.

(A computer update: I ordered a new hard drive. We took out the old one and it rattled. I don’t think hard drives are supposed to rattle. I should have the new one sometime next week.)