Time for a Pumpkin Ale

I was listening to an online radio station today and heard a song by someone named Meghana Bhat. I just wanted to share, for obvious reasons.

I officially hate my job this week and every person who works here. I hope I don't hate it so much on Monday when I have to come back.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

But I Want to Be A Scrapbooker

Tonight I went to a scrapbooking party. It was like a tupperware party, but with scrapbooking supplies and stuff.

I am not a scrapbooker and don't want to be. I like throwing pictures in a box. I don't like keeping momentos because I love the feeling of throwing away trash.

I went because the one girl at work I really like invited me. She had invited me to a party before and I didn't go and I don't want to stop being invited places, so I went. And had a nice time.

I did not buy a scrapbook or all of the corresponding accessories.

I did buy some Christmas cards I have to put together. So check your mailboxes closer to the holidays. You may have a homeade Christmas card from me.

Now I am off to finish watching the episode of Everyone Loves Raymond where his mother makes a sculpture that looks like a vagina.

Check My I.D. and My Doors

I got a new license today. I know, I know…truly exciting. To be honest, I was worried that it would be a terrible picture. But it's not bad. It looks like me. One side of my hair is messy.

I've been having problems with sleeping and noises. Saturday night (or actually Sunday morning around 4) I woke up with a start after dreaming of sweeping up dead, baby mice. It was weird, like I totally sat up in bed startled, just like a movie. And then, when I realized I was ok and laid back down, I heard a baby crying outside…either that or a cat meowing, because the more I listened, the more I had no idea what it was. So I got up and went to open my sliding glass door to see if I could figure it out. I couldn't figure it out because whatever it was had stopped.

But as I was walking back to my bedroom, I thought, "what if it had been a cat…what if it had gotten in my house? What if a rabid, disgusting, crazy cat is in my apartment?" Well, I'm not totally irrational; I told myself I was being silly and went back to bed. But for a while after I went to bed, it felt as though something was touching me.

Then the past couple of nights, I have heard noises like someone trying to enter my apartment. I would turn off my fan and it would go away. I realized last night that the noise is the fan on a poster in my room.

I hope now that I know there is no cat in my home or anyone trying to come in, I will sleep with ease tonight.

My Gift to You

The Office is so funny that even deleted scenes can give you a hardy chuckle.

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

Spin Doctor

A funny thing happened at work today. Some of the small details in my beautiful brochure that I mentioned in the previous post are not going to be consistent with our price listing and overall program. People are concerned that the brochure says we offer such and such, but in actuality it's not a standard item, it'll be special order…blah, blah, blah…I won't bore you with the details.

And yes, these things should be consistent, unfortunately, the way everyone works around here, consistency does not happen or is even noticed until it is too late.

But I remembered another skill I learned along the way…the ability to SPIN! So what? So what the brochure says we have a Victorian gadgety-do, but we don't stock it. We can get it for them. So what we don't actually offer this. We can get it. This brochure showcases their options. And we should want to give them the world. And they agreed. When I said we shouldn't worry too much, they agreed.

I had forgotten about all those years of PR classes. All those years of thinking on my feet…no time to prepare…no time to get frazzled…covering up mistakes. I am going to try and always remember to spin. Never again will I do anything wrong.

It Took Me Forever to Post This...

I have decided I hate the word diet. I think as soon as the word is used, the action has failed; at least in my case. So I say, watching what I eat. I have been writing down everything I eat every day…twice. Once in an email to a couple of friends (we are our own weight watchers) and once at self.com. Self.com is awesome…you enter your weight and how much you exercise and your goals and they tell you how many calories to eat a day (although in my case it's a lot…I think it might be because I exercise a lot) and every time you enter something in, it gives you a chart. It is a very visual way to lose weight. I love all the graphs. It gets me excited.

Speaking of losing weight…or inches…or whatever, I was watching tv yesterday at lunch and there was a commercial for Dr. 90210 (a reality show about a plastic surgeon on E) and it was about a guy who wanted to have his penis size DECREASED. Holy hell…I mean, how is that done? And for goodness sake, how big is it? I think I might have to watch that one.

So yesterday the very first brochure I designed all by myself came back from the printers. I knew it looked nice when we sent it out, but seeing it on glossy, heavy paper…it looks awesome. It looks so awesome, I can't believe I did it. It was a very gratifying moment for me.

That and This

So everyone, it is rainy and chilly here. Much chillier than they said it would be and I did not bring a coat, sweater, long-sleeved shirt or anything that will keep me a little warmer. But I am thankful that it isn’t 20 degrees and snowing and I forgot my winter coat. But I did only bring a t-shirt and shorts to work out in, so when I leave, I will be even chillier than I am when go outside now. But at least I can go home and warm up.

My car is done and I get to pick it up this afternoon. As much as I enjoyed driving a newer, different car, I am looking forward to getting my car back. I miss it.

I got business cards on Friday and boy do I feel important. Actually, I am not being sarcastic, it is pretty cool. But mostly because I designed them.

Unfortunately, at the moment, my life is lacking in entertaining content, so this is all you get today.

...

I hope everyone has stopped eating bagged spinach. I know I have.

My car is going to be ok and cheap. The only drawback is that is might not be ready until Monday, but I guess I do what I gotta do...whore myself out for rides.

Have a good weekend ya'll.

Wish List and Such

I am taking my car in today to be checked out and there are a few things I hope happen:

Ø That it is covered by my warranty (which I am beginning to doubt the warranty; I think it is false advertising)
Ø If it isn't covered by my warranty, that it is not very expensive
Ø That it doesn't take long (because I am borrowing my parent's car and I don't want to have it forever)

Don't you wish cars could work forever without any maintenance? I do. I also wish it was lunchtime because I am craving some chips and salsa. I also wish it was 4 o'clock tomorrow, because then it would be the weekend. I also wish I was a Christmas tree that you put the star on top. Ok, the last one is really more of Pearl Jam's wish.

Oh and hey, a week from today is the season premier of The Office and Grey's Anatomy. That should be a good time, n'est pas?

Reading is Sexy

My friend Laura (in Seattle) sent me card with an old fashioned poster for Rice Krispie treats. On the bottom it says, "Marshmallow Megan and her marvelous marshmallow treats." She realized the name was spelled wrong but thought it was funny anyway. It is also funny because I cannot stand Rice Krispie treat. I only like the kind that has that super thick layer of chocolate on top…the kind that you can buy. But even then, I usually have to be really in the mood or starving. Otherwise, I stay away from Rice Krispie treats.


Don't you think this shirt is awesome? I would like to get it and spread the word of reading. I want to be reading's prophet. Someone should make a t-shirt with my picture and have it say, " Reading's Prophet." They would make a fortune, I know it.

Do you ever do something, but can't remember doing it? Like today, I know I put my outgoing mail in the outgoing mail slot, but I do not remember doing it. I know I must have because I remember seeing the paper outside my neighbor's door by the mailboxes. But I don't remember putting the Netflix envelope in the slot.

Life is so complicated.

Funny...haha, maybe a little funny/ironic

Today I went to Andersons to stock up on my favorite pumpkin ale that is impossible to find by October and I saw they were selling six packs of Iron City, a beer out of Pittsburgh that my friend in Las Cruces loves. I picked up a six pack to send her.

I called her this evening to catch up (but not tell her about the beer...that was going to be sent as a surprise) and she told me she was pregnant.

So congratulations to her....and to me. I have an extra six pack of beer now. Wooha.

These Dreams

Yesterday I:

> talked about my friend in Ecuador with a woman I work with who knows her as well.

> sent another friend who got a new job an e-card

> thought about my friend Justin

> watched Grey's Anatomy.

Last night I dreamt that I:

> was with my friend in Ecuador and my friend who got new job. My friend who got a new job was using her cell phone while driving with an open window. The cell phone was so small it flew out the window while she was holding it. We had to turn around and try to find it on the road and oddly enough we found a lot of cell phones, but not hers.

> got a voicemail from Justin that was actually quite mean about how he was mad that I had stopped talking to him.

> ended up at a bar and my friends were the people from Grey's Anatomy. Specifically, I was sitting between Patrick Dempsey and Chris O'Donnell.

Dreams are so weird. Sometimes they are really bizarre and funny. Sometimes they are really bizarre and not funny at all. Sometimes they make absolutely no sense (like my Ralph Fiennes dreams).

Oh My

JT is still as smoking as ever. I almost want to hate Cammie D. Almost.

Interesting...to say the least.

"BURIAL PLOTS 4 Sites, Value $2000/each, $1500 for all 4..."

That is the beginning of a classified ad in the weekly city paper. What do you think happened there?

It is 10:30 in the morning. I have already been up, had two cups of coffee, breakfast, gone to the gym and showered. I should get up early more often; I get so much done.

Off to Cincinnati in a few hours. Everyone have a great, long Labor Day weekend.

Funny Story

Yesterday I was in my office and there was a knock at the door. It was a guy who works down on the floor asking me if he hit me with a screw.

I thought I had heard him correctly, but I still said back, "Did you hit me with a screw?"

He said yes, that's what he wanted to know (or something along those lines) and I said, "No, not that I know of."

He said that he and this other guy will throw screws across the room at each other and the other guy had told him that he had hit me with one and he wanted to apologize.

At this point, I am just trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of my job and say, "I don't think you did, but if you did, I didn't feel it."

Then as he walks back downstairs he yells, "I didn't even hit her, asshole."

Well, at least he was going to apologize. That's something, I guess.

Update

My mom is doing fine. She's still in the hospital, but is out of coronary care unit and in a regular room. They are going to give her a stress test and let her go tomorrow.

What happened is that they didn't get all the fluid out after the surgery. They had wanted her to stay overnight on Wednesday, but they were taking so long to find her room, she asked if she could just go home and they let her.

So anyway, it's a combination of fluid from surgery and a touch of pneumonia. But the fluid is going away and her oxygen levels are almost normal.

And she's back to be cranky, which is always a good sign.

I am off to see her again in a little while.

Thanks for the great thoughts everyone! I really appreciate it.

Long Crazy Day

As I so eloquently stated the other day, my mother had gall bladder surgery. It's a pretty common surgery, but when you are 63 and have had diabetes for 20 years, nothing is really common, but she had got through it.

But today, around 1 pm, I saw that I had a voicemail. It was my dad saying:

• My mom couldn't breathe this morning
• They went to the hospital
• They found fluid on her lungs
• His cell phone didn't work in the hospital, he would call when he got a chance

And that is all I heard for three and a half hours.

So I spent three and a half hours doing research on lung fluid, thinking, "No news is good news" and crying at my desk thinking about how my mother might die and about her funeral arrangements (which she eerily told me her wishes about earlier this summer) and being selfish thinking, "I am only 28 years old and am too young to be without a mother.

But I finally got a phone call and my dad said the same thing he said before and that she would have to spend a few days in the hospital and that the doctors didn't seem too concerned...anything that was wrong could be fixed.

I went and saw her and it was comforting. She wasn't hooked up to a million machines and seemed in decent spirits considering.

It was an emotional day. It was a wake up call. Need to feel a change for your life? Go visit a coronary care unit in a hospital.

I just needed to get these things off my chest. Thanks for listening.

A Couple of Things Said Today That Might Be Misconstrued

"No one wants to see my holes"

-My mother who had her gall bladder removed today laborscopically.

"You just pulled that out of your trunk?"

-Some guy in the parking lot of the biking trail after I took my bike out of my car.

Weekend Roundup

I received a "Save the Date" card for my friend Laura's (in Seattle) wedding. It was the most beautiful piece of stationary regarding a wedding I have ever received. It was very simple and elegant and unique, much like Laura.

And even though I chose to open with that titillating piece of information, it was not the highlight of my weekend.

Go see Little Miss Sunshine.

It was one of the best films I've seen so far. It's funny. The ending had me laughing so hard I cried and almost peed a little. And I'm not joking about that. But it isn't like a riotously funny movie. It also had some very moving parts in it as well. I liked everyone in it, but Steve Carrell was really awesome, mainly because he played a character unlike any of his other characters and he does subtle very well.

I found out someone I used to know fell in love with a girl from Australia and is moving there. It's funny where love takes you. I wonder if his girlfriend would mind if I stayed with them if I wanted to visit? HA!

It was also sweet little Jack's birthday party this weekend. He was so sweet when I walked in…but I think it was because I was holding his present. "Hi Aunt Witnesssuzy! Is that for ME?!? Thank you, thank you!" I got him hula hoop and even funnier than watching him actually hula hoop is watching him swivel his little hips around to practice. And what's even funnier than that, is that he half unwrapped a box full of clothes, threw it on the ground and went straight to the next present. I love kid's birthdays. Not enough to have the actual kids, but enough to go to a party here and there.

A Good Survey

I came across this and thought, "Well, I like to read and my readers like to read." So here you go.

One Book I Found Out About By Reading Playboy Magazine:
Well, I’ll be honest here; if I am looking at Playboy I AM looking at the pictures and not the articles. I know that Playboy is actually a great magazine for awesome, insightful, smart articles. And really, the only recent memories of looking at Playboy was at Laura’s and it’s more fun to analyze the pictures or laugh at how Kirsten Dunst doesn’t realize a boob has popped out.

Book I Have Signed By the Author:
I have Barrel Fever signed by David Sedaris. It is actually a really good story that involved him shoving a whole croissant into his mouth and telling my friend Chandy that she had the most white trash name he had ever heard. He also drew a stadium buddy in my book and if you don’t what that is, you need to read some Sedaris.

Books For Which I Am A Sucker:
I am a huge sucker for “chick lit.” You know, stuff by Jennifer Weiner (which are really good…Laura turned me onto her…oh and Laura, she’s got a short story collection coming out this fall) or the Confessions of a Shopaholic series. I also read the really stupid stuff that borders on teen girl books, like Meg Cabot, who also actually writes teen girl books (The Princess Diaries). One book I read of hers, Every Boy’s Got One, was written through character’s emails and journals. And of course the characters write their conversations down as they are having them. Anyhoo, some “chick lit” is totally stupid, but they’re cheap and worth wasting a few hours on.

Books Of Which There Are More Than One Copy in My Home:
I don’t think I have more than one copy of anything in my home. And if I did have a second copy, I would give it away. I like to spread the love of books.

The First Book I Read In a Foreign Language:
Dora Bruder. It is a true story of a German girl in Paris during the Holocaust. I had to read it for a French class I had. I actually read much better in French than I do speak or write. But I also now own the book in English as well. I also have Interview with a Vampire in French, but have never read it.

Book That Most Recently Inspired Me:
Well, I haven’t really read anything that has inspired me. But I did recently read a book that has become one of my top five favorites. It is called Spilling Clarence by Anne Ursu. I think I might have written about it in an earlier post. But it was an amazing book and I mad that I got it from the library and don’t own it (I might’ve written that in the earlier post as well).

Book We Should All Pre-Order on Amazon:
Well, shoot, I don’t know. I don’t usually pre-order books from Amazon. I usually pre-order movie or tv shows. Like I have pre-ordered Arrested Development Season Three and am anxiously awaiting it. But I will tell you what book I would like to read next. It is called Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. I am sucker for circus stories.