Funny, funny story

So, I was watching The DaVinci Code today and a couple of rows back are a group of people who would not stop talking. It was pretty bad, and what made it worse was that they were describing the movie, I mean talking about really obvious things. At one point I wondered if they had a brought a blind person.

The movie ends, the lights go up and we get up and leave and walk past the loud group. One guy was wearing sun glasses and gets out a cane.

Someone had a brought a blind person.

I started laughing hysterically. Who brings a blind person to a movie? What blind person wants to go to a movie?

I Flew in at the Perfect Time

Man, I am so glad that I traveled last week. I traveled with a lot of liquids. Besides my various liquid toiletries, I came back with four bottles of wine. I would’ve died if they had made me leave behind or pour out my Viognier, or my Cabernet Sauvignon, or my Chenin Blanc, or especially the Chocolate Port that I got for my dad, because if I hadn’t given him that, he would’ve gotten nothing. Terrorists suck. They not only want to kill people and inflict great harm, but they make it hard to travel.

Yum in the Tum

As many of you know I was really excited to go back to the LC because of all the great food. I was not disappointed. I had Mexican food every day, sometimes twice a day (I know I'm crazy). And even though I got some weird looks, I took some pictures of my favorite meals to share with you.

This is my Santa Fe Grill breakfast burrito with egg, potatoes, bacon, cheese and green chile. It was delicious and a little smaller than I remember.



This is the chicken fajita burrito from El Sombrero (The Hat). It had soft onions and green peppers. Oh my, that really brought back memories. I used to eat their all the time.


Here are my tacos from Chillitos. One had ground beef, one had shredded beef, and one had shredded chicken. They deep fry them for just a second. And they serve their salsa in a Coronita bottle. Aren't they clever?


Ok, this is the piece de le resistance. Chile rellenos from Chopes. And of course, my big Tequate. The rellenos were hot towards the top. But that was probably just because my tongue of steel is a little soft now.

Here's a funny little anecdote: my friend asked me if I was bullimic. I guess because I was in the bathroom for a while after every meal. I am not bullimic. My stomach is just not used to the Mexican food.

Ok, here's a little taste (haha) of my trip. Maybe next time I will tell you about my trip to some wineries and how I became a member of a wine club.

Post Vacation, Monday Blues

I had a lot of fun in New Mexico last week, but I was happy to get home. There is nothing like being in your own pleasant smelling home and sleeping in your own bed. Unless, your body is still on vacation time and you only get a couple hours of sleep before going back to work, which, as you've probably guessed, happened to me last night.

I would've taken an Ambien, but I didn't think it would be a problem. I was soooo tired yesterday, but I wouldn't let myself take a nap. I wish I could take a nap right now, because I just as tired. And although I am lucky I did not return to any catastrophes or anything, I wish I had so much to do that I didn't have to think about how tired I am.

Because I'm really tired. And this day is DRAGGING.

Anyhoo, I took lots of pictures and have some funny stories (none of which I can think of right now), and eventually I will share them with you.

YOGA...YOGA

I've decided why I love yoga so much. It is because it is really the only form of exercise that starts with five minutes of sitting and breathing deep with your eyes closed and then ends with five minutes of lying on your back with your eyes closed. I think all exercise should begin and end with some simple meditation and corpse pose.

Last night I finally was able to do boat pose. It's not really a hard pose (you balance on your ass, or "sit bones" and put your legs in the air, and then your arms and you kind of make a "V" with your body), but I've never been able to do it all at once.

I am also getting better at this pose…I forget what it is called, but ok, you bend over and then you keep foot and one hand on the ground and the opposite leg and foot go up into the air and you rotate your torso. So if you did it up against a wall, it would look like you were splattered there or something.

I did a terrible job of explaining that. Maybe when I see you all again I will do it for you. But not while I'm drunk like the last time I showed off my yoga moves. This one needs major, sober concentration.

Have a good weekend y'all.

Can You Feel the Heat?

Spent two hours converting word files into pdf's; my job is soooo glamorous. But did you know you can insert other pdf's documents together and make one big pdf file? How could I not think that Adobe Acrobat has the power to amaze?

It has been humid and gross for two days now. Yesterday was worse because it never really rained. At least today it has already rained. We're actually supposed to get some severe weather. Anyhoo, all this humidity is so not good for my hair. I get Big Texas Hair. In this weather I get Big Texas Hair regardless of the procedure I follow and product I use to avoid Big Texas Hair.

I am craving chips and a cigarette.

And everybody, let's give a hand to Lance Bass for coming out as a gay man. I think we all kind of knew, but it's still a much better idea to come out, then to have to live a secret. Congratulations Lance. Hope you and your boyfriend (who is like, a hundred times hotter than Lance) are happy forever. Or at least for a year or so.

Another Photo Essay (Photos by NephewJack, Essay by Witnesssuzy)

Let's see the world through a four year old's eyes.


First there is his foot on the kitchen floor. He's tan.


Here's his foot on carpet near a vacuum.


Then there is his brother, who is seven.


Then of course is "Daddy"


And wow, 80 degrees. What a pleasant day that was.


Finally, a self-portrait, with the self-portrait function. I don't know why he isn't smiling. He was happy taking pictures.


I would also like to add that later when his six month old cousin came over, NephewJack asked me why I would want to waste my camera on him.

This blog was hard to post...jeesh

Another Monday…sigh. This week is going to go by slow, I just know it. I just have to soldier through. You might be getting a lot of blog entries from me this week. It'll make the time go by faster.

So, I did go and see Strangers with Candy yesterday and it was pretty funny. Not as funny as the show and they left out some elements that I thought would be integral, like the theme song or the line that Jerri Blank said at the beginning of each show about being a boozer, a user and a loser. I think perhaps, they were trying to make a movie that might stand apart from the show. But it was still pretty good and Bilbo Baggins was in it and Sarah Jessica Parker has a nice trashy turn in it. Another cool part about the whole, Strangers with Candy-movie-going-experience was that I got to see a preview for Little Miss Sunshine, which looks awesome, and it uses Sufjan Stevens song, which would probably make any preview awesome.

Speaking of movies, I read a really interesting article. To summarize, it says that people with Netflix seem to watch comedies right away, yet keep really heavy dramas for months unwatched. While I do not keep Netflix dramas around for months (if I haven't watched it in a week, it's going back), I have experienced similar feelings. Take this weekend for example. I received my three movies; Mrs. Henderson Presents, Just Friends, and The Princess and the Warrior. The first two were comedies (although Just Friends wasn't really that funny…it actually kind of sucked) and I watched those almost immediately. The Princess and the Warrior is a German film and although I don't mind subtitles, I wasn't looking so forward to watching it because I would have to think and stay on my toes. So I can see where people who Netflix movies like, Saving Private Ryan and Schindler's List take forever to watch them. Those films might not require you to read throughout, but they do force you into using your heart, which connects to the brain. So you are thinking.

But I decided I was going to watch it. And in the end, I really liked The Princess and the Warrior. And I knew that I would, obviously I put it on my list). In fact, it was a hundred times better than Just Friends.

Too Good to be True...But it Is

Strangers with Candy, the movie version of the totally funny and completely horrible television show is now playing at a theater near me. I would go today, if I hadn't already made plans to go to the museum with a friend who would not like the movie anyway. I would go tomorrow if I wasn't already busy. I'll have to wait until Wednesday.

DAMN MY BUSY LIFE!

Yeah, yeah...bring on the funny.

Witnesssuzy's Book Corner

just got done reading the most amazing book, Spilling Clarence by Anne Urusu. It is about a small town, Clarence, where there is a psychopharmaceutical factory. One day there is an explosion and a drug lingers in the air. It makes everyone remember everything. All of these people's memories come back with complete details. For some, it is a great thing. One woman can remember how awesome her mother was before mental illness set in. For some people, it is horrible. One man goes into a coma after starting to remember all the terrible things in his life. But whether the memories are good or bad, the people in the town all start to deteriorate because everything is so overwhelming.

But that is what makes the book so great, the way the writer writes, you can feel the confusion of each person's memories and how crazy it must feel. I mean, can you imagine; every number, every song, every flower, every smell, EVERYTHING brings back some memory. And this happens all day long.

Anyhoo, this is going in the top five of my favorite books. And it makes me mad is that I don't own it. It was really hard to find. It wasn't sold in the bookstore and all the libraries had copies that were missing or damaged (now missing I understand, people want to keep the awesomeness, but damaged? That's just wrong). I finally got it from the main library downtown after looking for it for two months. I think I might have to just order it from Amazon or something. It's just too good to not have within my reach.

Rock Hall Photo Essay bu Witnesssuzy

Saturday I went to the Rock Hall and managed to take a few pictures. I thought I would share and then you could feel like you were there.

Saturday was also Harbor Fest, so besides all the great rock and roll memorabilia, I got to see big ships.

Here is the building. I think it is sharp looking. Jeannie did make to observation that they could've made it big enough to hold the induction ceremony. And I think it could've been built a little bigger to hold a bigger Tom Petty exhibit. But what can you do?

This is Steven Tyler. It's a bust from the video for "Pink." I might not sure how the picture ended up looking like this. Could've been the lack of flash or because I took it fast because I was afraid I would set off an alarm or something. But I think it looks cool.

Finally, the Phish fries and coke. What you can't see is that on either side of these is a sign saying "NO photography permitted." So I tried to be really inconspicuous by kind of hiding and taking the picture from my waist. Jeannie also stood in front of one sign, so in case anyone yelled at me, I could say, "What sign?"

Anyhoo, as always, the Rock Hall rocked and I am really excited that Jeannie lives only 20 minutes away so I have someone to go with whenever I want. Oh and I also learned that someone from Jethro Tull became a woman. I love learning new things every day.

Declaration of the Day

I have decided that I am pro-global warming if it means shorter and milder winters.











Don't forget to celebrate Bastille day by eating french fries or french onion soup.

Good News For Me

The UPS man delivered my new camera and guess what...it has a feature to take self-portraits. Now I love that because I love to take my own picture. I can't wait to take my own picture at the Rock Hall this weekend and on vacation.

In other news, I ate some artichoke dip and it was heavy on the mayonnaise and now I feel kind of gross.

This is the creepiest statue ever

Sometimes I Wished I Lived in Brazil

On NPR this morning there was a story about how after Brazil was eliminated from the championship World Cup game last week, people in Brazil rioted and knocked down a statue of the their team captain that was erected just a few years ago after he was named the best soccer (or football) player in the world. This made me laugh out loud. I think the image in my head is probably much funnier than what actually happened.

Anyhoo, on Saturday I went to a bar that did a "Name That Tune" game. I was apart of Team Pocket Sauce and round after round, we were given the hardest questions. It got worse and worse as the night went on and we were almost defeated by the time the game ended. Until we found out we came in second. We're still not sure how that happened, but it was pretty awesome. Especially when the prize was $11 off of our tab.

Don't forget to wish Mr. Wizard a happy birthday. Today he is 89.

Quick Question

I was just watching Stuck on You and I know Siamese twins are separated all the time, but do you think there are any people who would want to be attached? Would that ever happen?

Maybe it's time for a beer.

Some Perfectly Good Blabbering

I work with a woman who gets to work every day between 5 and 5:30 am. Once, I got an email from her at 4:58 am. And then she works until 4 pm like everyone else. While I have been known to occasionally come in early or work a little late or even through lunch, coming in two hours early seems nuts to me.

I wonder if she has that much work to do. And if she does, maybe she should ask for an assistant or something. Because if she needs to spend 10 hours doing her purchasing work just to get it all done, that is a lot of purchasing, maybe too much purchasing.

Or maybe she hates home and comes in to have a few moments to herself; sit back and drink her coffee is peace. Maybe she's an insomniac and comes in because she's awake. I kind of hope she's an insomniac because if she's not, she must have to go to bed at like 8 pm. The sun's still shining then.

I actually wondered on my drive in to work the day after the big storm a few weeks ago if she would make it in at 5 or if she would get in at 7 or God forbid, late. But she was there. I bet she would've driven through lakes to get here at 5. She's hardcore like that.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Vacation...Yay

I turned in my vacation request yesterday and it was signed immediately. He didn't even look at the dates. Let's give it up for a lack of bureaucratic bullshit. Woot, woot. I once had a job where I wanted to take two, unpaid days off and I had to go through a huge paperwork channel. I wasn't even that important of an employee. And one month later I was laid off because the company filed for bankruptcy. Think of how much money was wasted making me fill out paperwork and wait for paperwork. All the paperwork should've been foreshadowing of what was to come. I am suspicious of too much paperwork.

Anyhoo, anyhoo, back to my vacation. I leave three weeks from this coming Monday. My friend who I am staying with is trying to get pregnant and keeps saying things to me like, "If I am pregnant while you're here, you can have fun and drink and I'll just stick to my iced tea." I am a bad friend, because I hear that and think, "Can't you just fucking wait to even try to have your baby until after I leave? Then you can have a million babies and never worry about seeing me again." I know, I know…bad friend. But what I say to her is, "Oh yeah, that'll be fun too." So I am a bad friend, who is good on the outside.

But pregnant or not, she is taking me to this place called Chope's and I am having the worlds best chile rellenos, a ginormous bottle of Tecate and perhaps a shot of tequila.

God, I miss the old days sometimes.

UPDATE...
Here's a picture of Chope's bar.

Embarrased Beyond Words...well except the words I am about to write

Let me share with you an embarrassing story that happened to me today.

I am wearing my glass today because my contacts bothered me. I really need new glasses because one of my lenses always pops out. So it popped out and landed under my desk back towards the wall. So I literally have to crouch under my desk to get it. At the same time I am crouching, my door opens and our website man is here to see me. So I get up off the floor and start talking with him, discussing changes. I decided to leave my glasses off because they only have one lens in. Until I realize that I need at least one lens to see what I need to show him because even one lens is better than no lens because I am blind as a bat. So I go on to discuss this project with him wearing glasses with one lens in them.

So let’s recap.

First of all I never have appointments or see people, but the one day that I do, I am found coming out from under my desk and then wearing glasses with one lens.

I am mortified.

Happy 4th of July

I don't make a big deal out of the 4th of July. It's just a minor holiday. I mean, I get the importance, but I don't get crazy about it. So surprisingly enough, I have some really great 4th of July memories.

One year I took some acid with a friend. We watched the city fireworks at another friend's house. Afterwards, it seemed like the smoke from the fireworks was taking a long time to clear. Then it started to rain. It wasn't smoke, it was clouds. Anyhoo, the whole night was an awesome time. We stayed up all night and laughed a lot, talked a lot, drank a bottle of wine, and drank a pot of coffee.

A couple of years later, I spent the 4th of July in Juarez, Mexico. I got really drunk and a slight case of food poisoning. I guess that's what I get for celebrating my country's independence in a different country.

Have a safe 4th y'all.