Spring Fever

I love it when the weather is nice.

I spent much of Saturday outside reading. I broke out my lounge chair in a bag so I could get really comfortable. It was awesome. My goal this summer is to just spend more time outside, so hopefully I am off to a good start.

Before I could read outside however, I needed to get some books, so I went to the library downtown and had to parallel park, which I did perfectly because Norman taught me how when she was here a couple of weeks ago. Almost 14 years of driving and my eyes have been opened. I am going to start driving around just looking for places to parallel park.

I got some new pants; some khakis that actually fit.

Yesterday I got sun burnt sitting outside talking with my family. It's up towards the top of my arms and there is a perfect line from where my shirt sleeve was. And there is a stripe of burn on my leg. My face looks nicely colored. That's because I use moisturizer with SPF in it.

Another Monday.

Colons Just Seemed So Today

One piece of advice for you all: don't eat the Kashi Peanut Butter Granola Bars. They have 4g of fiber and 5g of protein and I think that is all I can taste.

I read something very disturbing on the Internet this morning. I read that Alec Baldwin wants to leave "30 Rock" so he can devote more time to his custody battle and that he doesn't want the show to be affected by his negative reputation. This is what I wanted to do out loud when I read it:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I didn't think any differently of AB when I read about his voicemail tirade to his daughter. He was probably frustrated and lost his temper. He's a parent; they lose their tempers. My parents used to get mad and yell pretty comparable things to what AB told his daughter. Do they feel bad when it's done? Yes, but whatever. The only difference between my parents and AB is that they didn't have their comments on tape and released to the public.

I don't want this to take away my favorite show. Apparently he's got a contract for next year and they won't release him, but I want more than just next year. I want years and years of Alec Baldwin and "30 Rock."

I am going to make a t-shirt that says:

I Support Alec Baldwin
(which is really supporting "30 Rock", but I still like Alec Baldwin)

And You Don't Think Politics and Chinese Food Could Mix

David Moyer's said Monday in an interview with Terri Gross on Fresh Air that, "…skepticism was suspended in that time of trauma." He was speaking of how the media was more trusting of our government following 9/11 and into the beginning of the war. I just thought that was an interesting way to put it. I never suspended my skepticism of our government. I probably never will. Not even when the complete idiot leading our country now is replaced with someone I might like. I think our government, no matter who's in charge, is dangerous.

Ok, that's enough about politics, I just thought the quote was interesting.

Today at the gym, I am going to do one of those routines…I can't think of the name but it is when you go slow for a few minutes, the medium, then fast, then medium, then slow, then fast. It makes you burn a lot of calories in a short amount of time, and you burn a lot more calories even after you are done. So I am going to give it a try. I like not having to be at the gym so much. Laura told me over the weekend that she actually likes working out. I may like the benefits and I may feel good after, but I never really like doing it.

Do you believe those rumors about Chinese food actually being made with cat? I don't think I do, but I like Chinese food and hate cats, so I don't really care. In fact, now I am totally in the mood for Chinese food.

Happy Lost Day Y'All.

36 Hours

What a crazy couple of days. Norman came back to Ohio for a whopping 36 hours. But it was an important 36 hours; you can now call her Dr. Norman. And if you have any questions about post 9/11 theory or trauma rhetoric, you should ask her. She can give you answers. Just don't ask her about risk management theory, because that's just a dumb question. Or about the show " Jericho," because she doesn't like that show as much as "Lost," Heroes," and "24."

It was weird to go back to BG because I saw a lot of people I knew, and a lot of pregnant women. I was afraid to get too close, I didn't want to catch it. And I drank bottled water in case it was catching through the water.

And then I sent Norman home this morning around 5. I thought, the earlier the better. No, actually the early part was all Norman's idea, and she may have regretted it a little when she woke up a little hung over and with only like, 2 hours of sleep. But she'll get home and hit the hay early tonight I am sure. And I think I might too, even though I got a little more sleep than she did.

I think I am going to start saying "hit the hay" more often. Much like I have been using some form of f*ck. I realized yesterday that I describe things as "f*cking" a lot. When did it become my favorite adjective? I mean, I swear, but it just seemed like that has been my favorite word lately.

Ok, so I am going to relax a little for the next day and a half or so and then it is round two of friends coming. Laura will be here for…well…probably only about 36 hours too.

My Day Thus Far

It's a good thing I don't really see many people during the day because I noticed I was wearing a dirty shirt.

I am feeling better (knock on wood). The cough is almost gone. My nose is still stuffy and alternately runny, but I would rather have that than a cough and a sore throat.

I got the most awesome pair of tennis shoes last night. They are gray and pink. I tried to find a picture of them, but I couldn't. Anyhoo, if the two of you who regularly read this want to know what they look like, I can show you both next week. That's awesome.

I am going to go wash my sink. It's dirty.

Psychology and Nutrition

Here's what I'm think: how can you actually diagnose a child with Tourette's Syndrome? I mean, all kids say weird, inapproriate stuff all the time. They look at people weird and make weird noises and don't really know how to control themselves. It seems to me as though they all have Tourette's Syndrome.

I bought a king size bag of M&M's today and I am 98% sure that you are really only getting about three more M&M's than a regular bag. What the frick, man? I am now officially peeved enough that I may never buy another bag of M&M's, neither regular or king sized, again. Now will some one be kind enough to remind me of that when I want M&M's again.

Currently obsessed with poached eggs. Love them.

And I tried cabbage rolls for the first time on Easter and I gotta say: loved them.

Now, I am off to see if my heat is turned up because I am hot.

Good day.

I said, good day.

Random Memory Day

When I was in college, I tripped out on some acid on the 4th of July. After the fireworks, my friend Ryan and I were still hanging out outside and this girl came up. I totally forget her name, but she lived up the street and was a little younger than the rest of us and had been sleeping with our friend Mark and she was trouble with a capital T. While she was sleeping with Mark, she was also sleeping with her ex-boyfriend, Clint (I don't know why I remember his name) and about a month before the 4 th of July, she told them both she was pregnant and wanted money for an abortion.

Anyhoo, she came up and she was wasted and mad at Clint, whom she had gotten back together with (and I think she might've been still pregnant…but later we all wondered if that was true at all). She saw her ex-boyfriend walking up the street and she ran into the house. Clint came up and he was wasted too and he looked sad and he asked if we could tell her that he was outside and he wanted to talk to her. Ryan went in to find the girl and I stayed outside with Clint and all of a sudden, Clint bursts into tears and starts telling me how much he loved her and how he just wanted to be with her and how he would forgive her for anything. And then the girl comes out and she starts yelling at him that she hates him and to leave her alone and he yells back that he loves her. Eventually he walks away and she runs after him and they go home.

And I can't even imagine what Ryan and I looked like, but I am sure our eyes were almost completely bugged out and our jaws were probably on the floor, because remember, we were TRIPPING OUT ON ACID.

The girl would eventually move away, but I would see Clint again and he would always be soooo nice to me. I feel kind of bad in hind-site, because there he was crying and pouring his heart out to me and I was totally tripping out. I told that story to Mark several years later. He of course, hated Clint for obvious reasons. But he would say, "Well, at least he was nice to you."

I don't know why I thought of that today.

Bleh

For the past few weeks I have been spelling female, femail. I usually notice and fix it, but I can't stop doing it.

I drank too much last night. I drank too much and then didn't drink any water or eat a snack or anything that I would usually do to make a work day more workable. And I am paying for it today. I wouldn't say it's a horrendous hangover, just a dull ache. And I had to go to the gym today to get my health assessment for the "Slim Down for Summer" program. Ironically enough, the person doing my health assessment is the friend I went out with last night.

Right now I am doing laundry and waiting for an appropriate time to go to bed. I mean, if I went now, I would wake up in the middle of the night, but I do need to go to bed early. And I have a new book to read...I can't wait to go to bed.

Drinking on a weekday makes me feel old.

The Departed

Before I get to the main point of this blog (see title), I have to ask a question. What is up with Sanjaya? So, I don't watch American Idol, but I watch a lot of other tv, so I know who Sanjaya is and what I don't know, is that if people hate him so much, why is he there? His hair scares me.

Ok so back to The Departed. It rocked and I thought I would bullet point why I liked it.

• Mark Wahlberg rocks. He is really funny. And he's a bad ass. And I am pretty sure he knows it.
  
  
• Alec Baldwin. Enough said.
  
  
• I kept saying, "Poor Leo," because Leonardo DiCaprio really gets fucked in this movie. But he's tough and deals and while I have always like Leonardo DiCaprio, I really, really liked him in this.
  
  
• Jack Nicholson looked super old.
  
  
• Did I mention Alec Baldwin?
  
  Today was also my nephew Logan's 8th birthday party. I made him his vanilla on vanilla cake and put Star Wars action figures on it. And I got him Happy Feet. He loved them both. And it was the most heartwarming moment. I love him and his brother. They are the best kids and I hope the kids I might have are half as awesome as them.
  
  It gave me a good layer of love to watch The Departed with.
  
  Alec Baldwin.

And a Belly Full of Pasta

When you guys were just starting out in elementary school, were you graded on handwriting? I was and I got C's. And I was told I held my pen/pencil wrong. Looking back it seems like such a silly ability to grade, because I went on to have nice handwriting. In fact, I have actually been complimented on it. It also seems silly because I don't really judge people on they're writing. I mean, sometimes I have come across people whose writing I can't read, but I just think, "Jeesh, I wish I could read what they were writing."

I wonder if they even grade handwriting anymore. Especially since people use computers and such for everything. I hand-write very little…a check here and there, a card once in a while, a grocery list. If they do still grade handwriting, and if I have a child and he/she brings home a C in handwriting, or even an A for that matter, I am going to tell them it doesn't really matter, it doesn't form their personality and that every other skill is more important. And then I am going to tell them to tell their teacher I said that. And then I will tell the teacher myself at a parent-teacher conference.

I have a new crush at the gym and if you guys saw him, you would be really surprised because he's pretty clean-cut and HUGE. My god, he's got some big guns. He's probably like, 21 and a complete asshole, but he sure is pretty to look at when he runs on the treadmill.

One last thing – I can't even tell you how excited I am to see Blades of Glory. I don't really like Napolean Dynamite, but the one-two punch of Will Ferrell AND Gob from Arrested Development is enough to make me laugh without even seeing it. But I will see it.

Spring Fever

I had a green teani this weekend that was very delicious. It tasted just like green tea. And it was a perfect compliment to my sushi dinner.

I bought some new shirts this weekend. It was kind of weird to try on clothes since I've lost about 16 pounds. I try things on thinking they won't really fit or might not look right, but they do. And then I tried on a pair of old pants last night, a pair of pants that two and half years ago did not fit at all, that a year and a half ago, I could wear, but would have to wear them with a loose shirt to cover how tight they were, but last night, they were a little loose. Anyhoo, I guess the point of this little paragraph is that if you're looking for an esteem booster, lose some weight and go clothes shopping.

It's supposed to be close to 80 degrees today. I started my morning with my freshly ground Costa Rican coffee and it was delicious. Thanks for the grinder Norman, it's awesome. I will never be able to drink pre-ground coffee again.

And I met a sexy, sexy man today; the photographer taking pictures of our showers. I like to picture him in a shower.

Movie Recommendation

I know I give a lot of recommendations here, but I think you all should see "Gates of Heaven." It is a documentary made in 1980 about pet cemetaries. It is hard to explain; maybe bizarre is a good word. But bizarre in an awesome way.

It's a really moving film. It was sad to hear stories about people and their pets and how much they miss them, but it was also sweet to see them honor them.

It's also really funny...unintentionally funny. But it never mocked these people. It's just funny, what some people say. Like to guy who names "the pill" as the main contribution to the rise in pet ownership. Apparently, even though women work and don't have children, they still need to come home and fondle something.

It sounds like a weird movie, and it is. But it is SO worth it.

Do Not Tag Along with Tag-Along Ice Cream

You guys know about those peanut butter girl scout cookies? The ones that are peanut butter covered in chocolate? The ones apparently called Tag-Alongs? Well, the lovely people with the Girl Scouts and the lovely people at Edy's Ice Cream got together to make Tag-Along Ice Cream. If you ever see it, I beg you to run the other way. Do not look that evil carton in the eye.

I made that mistake.

I bought some and I couldn't stop. Well, ok I did. I had enough brains to stop myself around a third of the way in. And when I told myself to stop, I told myself to throw it away immediately.

So now I have a around 2/3 a carton of ice cream melting into my garbage. But I am ok with it. Even with all the starving people everywhere. Let Brangelina help them.

OH weird

It is only 35 degrees outside right now. 24 hours ago it was 70 degrees. Weather is so weird. There was snow on the ground this morning…not much, but enough to piss me off after nearly a week of experiencing nice weather.

So, I like to reflect over things…sometimes, I reflect over what happened a week ago. Yesterday I was reflecting over OKC a little more and I remembered a moment when Norman and I were driving and we saw a homeless guy. A really cute homeless guy and because she knows I like dirty, smelly guys, she mentioned that he probably did smell bad. And at first I said, probably too smelly for me. But then I thought about how much stank I could withstand and thought that maybe the homeless guy wouldn't be too smelly for me. And this made Norman LAUGH.

But Norman, I've thought about it more…and I was reminded of a student I had, who was not homeless, but smelled REALLY bad, and if the hot homeless guy smelled like the student, I wouldn't be able to do it.

Tata for now.

Back in OH

Well, I am back home, back at work, back at boring again.

I had a really good time in OKC, OK. Actually, it was Norman, OK, just outside of OKC, OK. I stayed well-hydrated with Sonic drinks. I slept REALLY good. I had a nice summer day and a nice spring day with thunder and lightning storms. It was also educational. I learned that James Garner and Mickey Mantle are from OK. And that contemporary dance can be boring, strange and cool, sometimes all at the same time. And I learned that I might be getting to airports a tad too early.

It was good to see Norman and Kayz. We laughed a lot. And I will get to see Norman again in about a month. And I am getting ready to write cover letters to jobs in OK, so maybe we'll see each other always soon.

Today it is supposed to be 70 degrees, so it's almost like I didn't really leave OKC, OK weather-wise.

Sad Day

Someone near and dear to our academic hearts died yesterday in Paris.

RIP Jean Baudrillard

He introduced me to what was hyperreal. But his death just seems real.

Several Things...

First of all, I saw Katie Holmes' mom at the mall. I think that I may now officially be six degrees from Kevin Bacon.

I was sick today, not so sick, but I decided not to go to work so I could get lots of rest and hopefully better before my trip OKC, OK. And I do feel better. Knock on wood, it lasts and only gets better.

Lastly, I got an email from a friend from college and it contained a link to her wedding pictures. She looked beautiful and it looked like a lot of fun, but what struck me was that this was at one time, one of my best friends, someone I have still managed to keep in regular touch with in the past six years, and she got married surrounded by a bunch of people I don't know. It was weird, it was almost like looking at a stranger's wedding pictures.

Being sick, but not being too sick, has made me eat a lot today and I actually feel kind of sick. I am going to continue to lie still.

Choose or Spank

I have not made any decisions about who I am voting for in the 2008 presidential election. I mean, it's only early 2007 and a lot can happen in the next 20 months. I mean, I am still holding out a little bit of hope for Bill Richardson from New Mexico. Let the little guy rise to the ranks!

Ok, so obviously, I have thought a little bit about it. And I do have opinions, but I have no idea who I will vote for.

This morning, NPR interviewed Barack Obama and they were talking about someone who defeated him in previous race and Barack said, "He didn't defeat me, he spanked me." And you want to know what? I like that Barack said "spank."

But I hardly think that's a reason to vote for him.

Unless he says "spank" a lot more in the next 20 months.

Have A Weekend as Good as Mine Might Be

I have big, big plans for the weekend. Well, I guess not big, big, but I am looking forward to them. Like tomorrow night I am going to this fundraiser for a friend from work's boyfriend's softball team. It might sound silly or whatever, but I paid $35 and I can drink and eat all night long. Or from the hours of 6 to 12, which is when the fundraiser is. That's cheaper than dinner and drinks.

I also finally get the chance to see the film adaptation of Little Children. I really, really hope it is good. I loved the book so much I would be really disappointed if the movie sucked, but I have not read or heard a bad review so I think it might be ok and that I shouldn't worry.

On Sunday I am finally getting my Christmas massage. I am really excited about that because I love massages. Also on Sunday is my version of the Super Bowl, the Oscars. I don't think it will be as interesting because I think I know who is going to win and there won't be any surprises. But I would like to see the grandpa from Little Miss Sunshine win best supporting actor over Eddie Murphy. Not that Eddie Murphy wasn't good in Dreamgirls, but I like the grandpa better. AND, as Laura I learned a few weeks ago, the grandpa wrote "The Banana Boat" song. Anyhoo, I think the Oscars will be fun to watch because Ellen Degeneres is hosting and I like her. And as I told Laura the other night, I trust her, whereas I don't trust Juliette from Lost and Laura doesn't know who to trust.

I hope my weekend meets or even exceeds my expectations. And I hope all of your's does to.

I Hate The Kid at Best Buy (But Love 2 Week Winters)

Just yesterday I was thinking that while it was not awesome at the time, in hindsight, it was awesome that I literally only experienced two weeks of hardcore winter. Scientists weren't exaggerating about how global warming was making winter shorter. Anyhoo, I definitely think I spoke too soon because we are supposed to have snow next Monday. As of now I don't think it is supposed to be anything major, but if I've learned anything from these hard two weeks of winter, it is that weather can change in a second.

Last night I had to go to Best Buy to get a new charger for my iPod and the kid who was helping me made some lame joke about me wanting to strangle my kids. I'll tell you what kid I did want to strangle…THAT KID! Excuse me, but do I look like somebody's mother? Do I look like two somebody's mother? Do I have a mom haircut? I definitely wasn't wearing mom jeans. Why would buying an iPod charger make me somebody's mother? Thinking about it now is depressing. I am not even 30. Uh, I am never going to Best Buy again. And I am going to wish that kid ill will.