Choose or Spank

I have not made any decisions about who I am voting for in the 2008 presidential election. I mean, it's only early 2007 and a lot can happen in the next 20 months. I mean, I am still holding out a little bit of hope for Bill Richardson from New Mexico. Let the little guy rise to the ranks!

Ok, so obviously, I have thought a little bit about it. And I do have opinions, but I have no idea who I will vote for.

This morning, NPR interviewed Barack Obama and they were talking about someone who defeated him in previous race and Barack said, "He didn't defeat me, he spanked me." And you want to know what? I like that Barack said "spank."

But I hardly think that's a reason to vote for him.

Unless he says "spank" a lot more in the next 20 months.

Have A Weekend as Good as Mine Might Be

I have big, big plans for the weekend. Well, I guess not big, big, but I am looking forward to them. Like tomorrow night I am going to this fundraiser for a friend from work's boyfriend's softball team. It might sound silly or whatever, but I paid $35 and I can drink and eat all night long. Or from the hours of 6 to 12, which is when the fundraiser is. That's cheaper than dinner and drinks.

I also finally get the chance to see the film adaptation of Little Children. I really, really hope it is good. I loved the book so much I would be really disappointed if the movie sucked, but I have not read or heard a bad review so I think it might be ok and that I shouldn't worry.

On Sunday I am finally getting my Christmas massage. I am really excited about that because I love massages. Also on Sunday is my version of the Super Bowl, the Oscars. I don't think it will be as interesting because I think I know who is going to win and there won't be any surprises. But I would like to see the grandpa from Little Miss Sunshine win best supporting actor over Eddie Murphy. Not that Eddie Murphy wasn't good in Dreamgirls, but I like the grandpa better. AND, as Laura I learned a few weeks ago, the grandpa wrote "The Banana Boat" song. Anyhoo, I think the Oscars will be fun to watch because Ellen Degeneres is hosting and I like her. And as I told Laura the other night, I trust her, whereas I don't trust Juliette from Lost and Laura doesn't know who to trust.

I hope my weekend meets or even exceeds my expectations. And I hope all of your's does to.

I Hate The Kid at Best Buy (But Love 2 Week Winters)

Just yesterday I was thinking that while it was not awesome at the time, in hindsight, it was awesome that I literally only experienced two weeks of hardcore winter. Scientists weren't exaggerating about how global warming was making winter shorter. Anyhoo, I definitely think I spoke too soon because we are supposed to have snow next Monday. As of now I don't think it is supposed to be anything major, but if I've learned anything from these hard two weeks of winter, it is that weather can change in a second.

Last night I had to go to Best Buy to get a new charger for my iPod and the kid who was helping me made some lame joke about me wanting to strangle my kids. I'll tell you what kid I did want to strangle…THAT KID! Excuse me, but do I look like somebody's mother? Do I look like two somebody's mother? Do I have a mom haircut? I definitely wasn't wearing mom jeans. Why would buying an iPod charger make me somebody's mother? Thinking about it now is depressing. I am not even 30. Uh, I am never going to Best Buy again. And I am going to wish that kid ill will.

Weekends

My beautiful graduation watch is dead and not even a battery will bring it back to life. Oh, I can have it fixed...for $70, but I think it would probably cost just as much to get a new watch. RIP watch.

I had some fun with my boys this weekend. Jack is so tough, but has the cutest little face and voice. And Logan is way too smart for his own good. Well, I guess they both are really. I spent almost five dollars on two miniature bottles of grape and orange Crush that was actually filled with grape and orange Crush flavored jelly beans. It's a good thing I am just an aunt and only see them every couple of weeks or so. I would go broke keeping them in the lifestyle of which they have become accustomed to.

I saw a pretty good movie on Friday. It's called Half Nelson and it's about a junior high history teacher, who's a really good teacher, but does cocaine and smokes crack at night. The story really begins when one of his students catches him high in the bathroom. Sounds weird, but I thought about it for a long time after it was done. The guy who plays the teacher is really good, but the young girl is really, really good. Check it out one day if you get the chance.

I am excited to hear that the weather is going to get warmer, but that means there won't be snow days and I won't be able to use the cold weather as an excuse to be lazy.

Death Becomes Denny

I did some flipping last night. I flipped between Scrubs and 30 Rock and Grey's Anatomy. Let me recap what I saw on Grey's Anatomy (because that is what I saw the least of): Yang mad at Meredith because she wasn't there; Izzie drilling holes in the guy's head (and perhaps a glimmer of admiration/attraction in McSteamy's eyes when he was listening to her over the phone); Addison wondering if anyone would miss her if she was almost crushed to death by a pole; Izzie saying she was a rock star; McDreamy emerging from the water with a very blue Meredith; Alex saying he would miss Addison if she was almost crushed to death by a pole; the attendings working to bring Meredith back from the dead and Meredith waking up and finding out she was dead.

I might go to television hell for saying this, but I was kind of glad that 30 Rock ends a few minutes before Grey's Anatomy because I liked being surprised by the exploded guy and Denny Duquette in heaven. And is it just me, or does Denny look really good dead? I mean, I always thought he was hot, but there was something in the 20 seconds he was onscreen last night that made me mad they killed him off.

I think that I am going to have to watch it again tonight. Sounds like a lame way to start the weekend, and it probably is, but it's cold and I am getting up early tomorrow to go to the gym, so there.

Have a good weekend, y'all.

You Can't Say I Am Not Determined

The weather is pretty bad. It's cold and snowing and the wind is blowing, causing big drifts. It is so bad that we were actually sent home from work. And you want to know what I did when I got off? I went to the gym! I thought, what the heck, I'll do it now before the roads get really, really bad.

So now I am home and I think there is a 50 percent chance I won't see my car tomorrow. There is so much snow coming down and blowing about, I think it will be completely covered. I figure in the mean time, I'll just do some laundry and drink some wine.

Yay for snow days. They rock even more when you're 29.

UPDATE: There is a blizzard warning. The last time there was a blizzard warning was 1978. We are under a level 2 alert, which means, don't go out if you don't have to. Wow, the weather is baaaad. Laura's got ice; so pretty much, Ohio sucks right now. BGSU actually closed for the first time in four years.
I can barely see Reynolds Road. It's crazy.







UPDATE 2:














This is out my front door.





This is out my back door. Usually you can see the Toys R Us sign.

Wow.

I Love 30 Rock...Do You?

Last night was another four-star episode of 30 Rock. People, really, you need to give it a shot. Quit saying things like, “Oh it sounds funny.” Or, “It’s awesome that you like it.” WATCH IT.

I listen to a lot of NPR. I learn a lot from NPR. I learn about history. I learn about books (one of my favorite books from last year, Triangle, I heard about on NPR). I learn about music ( I was able to download a live Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins show from their website) and I learn about movies (especially documentaries…just this morning I added a film to my Netflix list. It’s called Gates of Heaven and it is a documentary about pet cemeteries). I also learn a little about television.

Now before I give my parenthetical example of the television show I learned about on NPR, let me tell you that I have never liked Sarah Silverman. She always plays the same characters in movies…a serious bitch. I’ve seen her in some other comedy shows and she was always too in-your-face for me. But I heard a story on NPR about her and her new show on Comedy Central. And it sounded so different. So I checked it out last night and well…it was pretty funny. Not funny enough that I am going to plead with you to watch it like 30 Rock (see above AGAIN), but funny enough to say it was funny enough.

And before I check out for the weekend, can I get a R.I.P for Anna Nicole Smith. Good lord, what a bad end to a bad year.

30 ROCK – THURSDAYS at 9:30 on NBC – Skip Grey’s until Friday night and watch 30 ROCK. God will let you into heaven if you do.

IT'S F****** COLD

I am a firm believer in returning your grocery cart to the cart coral. It's the easiest, nicest thing you can do. Unless it's 15 below zero. Then I put it wherever is closest to my car door.

It's too cold to recycle or even take my trash to the dumpster. So as you can tell, my kitchen looks disgusting.

It's so cold, schools are already posting delays and closing for tomorrow. In certain moments today, I would've given up all the sex, drugs and rock and roll I ever experienced to be a kid and stay home.

And there is nothing colder than putting on gym clothes that you have kept in your car all day. Nothing, I say.

It's cold. I am running out of sweaters.

I Think I Woke Up With Restless Leg Syndrome Last Night

Yeah, at like 1 in the morning, my legs were twitchy and I couldn't get comfortable, but then I just fell back asleep. I hope I don't have Restless Leg Syndrome because it sounds so silly. It would be kind of embarrassing to admit. The only disease more embarrassing to admit that you have is Irritable Bowel Syndrome. And my apologies go out to you if you have IBS, but if I had it, I wouldn't admit it. In fact, I might have it now, but none of you will ever know.

It is getting cold here…really cold. Yesterday when the weatherman said it could possibly get to 30 below zero with the wind chill, I didn't think I heard him right. But it was confirmed this morning…30 BELOW ZERO. That is like scary cold. That is like, going outside and having limbs immediately snap off because it is so cold, cold. That is like, not really want to do anything, kind of cold, which is hard when you have to go and work and to the gym and stuff. Although I bet just standing outside for a minute would burn a lot of calories because my body would have to work so hard to stay warm.

Also, while we're all here, I would like some opinions. If you had a job, but interviewed for a new, perhaps cooler job, and they asked you why you wanted to leave your old job, what would you say? You don't want to make your last job sound as bad as it may have been. You also don't want to look like a crazy person who is going to switch jobs every few years. So what do you say?

I Thought Yes, and Then I Thought, NO NO NO

Last night I came home from the grocery store and I was in my parking lot and I had my big Columbia jacket on, and my big ugly boots that keep my feet really warm on and it was really quiet and the snow made the air look like it was glowing and I thought, this is why people like winter; even right in the middle of it, it can be really pretty.

Then I woke up and it had snowed an additional inch and I had to hurry and get ready so I could clean off my car and the news traffic guy said it was really messy on the roads and the weather guy said that we could get another inch to two inches more of snow today and I thought, this is why I hate winter; it just makes life that much harder.

I wish it was spring already.

And this might not make any sense to anyone but Norman, but I think that Nathan Petrelli is Claire's father. It looked like his hairy arm and watch holding the phone on the scene from next week.

Over and out.

Sunday

I am currently living in a winter wonderland. It's nice when I don't have to go out anywhere. Although I did make it to the gym and to the grocery store to buy some lettuce. But before you say, wow, how dedicated this woman is, you should know I also bought a bottle of wine that I am currently really enjoying.

I also made it out to a yoga class. It was really awesome to have a full length class. Yoga's nice because you can practice it on your own, but having someone to tell you what poses to do, and correcting you if you do something wrong can make for a better workout. I am proud to say that I was not necessarily corrected, but helped to go deeper, which can be quite painful. But as John Couger Mellancamp has said, "It hurts so good." It was an interesting class because I went with a girl I work with and we found out about it from the chairman of the board at work. So we were downward dogging it with our 67 year old co-worker/kind-of boss. It is nice to know that if I want to take a yoga class, I can just go up the street and pay a few bucks to do it.

I am just enjoying my Sunday. Looking forward to some weekend trips...one to Laura's in a couple of weeks, and one to Norman's in OK in about six weeks. I hope time goes by fast.

Now...back to wine and cigarettes.

Hey Y'all, It's Wednesday

I know, I know, I have not written in a while. I apologize. Winter makes me lazier than usual. Most of my time is spent staying warm and I am sure stories of me huddling under a blanket for hours at a time would be really exciting for you.

I have been going to my new gym. I am not an official member yet. I have been taking advantage of my trial pass. But I will be an official member on Thursday…hurrah! I have even found a guy to subtly stare at longingly. He goes in around the same time I do. He has a little bald spot.

I also think I may have found a cheap yoga studio. I am going to go and try out a class on Sunday.

You know what I just realized? That it costs a lot of money to lose weight. It seems as though it would cost more money to gain weight, but there is the cost to join a gym or buy exercise equipment, healthier food costs more, if someone has never worked out, they have to buy workout clothes and then they have to buy clothes when they start losing weight. I think I went into the wrong business.

One last tidbit to tide you all over: I went and saw Dreamgirls. It was good. And I bet that girl from American Idol is glad she lost. She is either proof that American Idol was a good idea for a television show because it gets anyone good exposure or it really sucks because people don't need to win it get an Oscar nomination.

And FYI, Jim from The Office had a tiny part in it. He has had a tiny part in a lot of movies I have seen recently. He had a tiny part in For Your Consideration. Then he had a tiny part in The Holiday. When is he going to have a BIG part in a movie? Because I like Jim. He's sexy in Dreamgirls too, because he is kind of dirty and scruffy…just they way I like 'em.

Friday Eve

I know that it is only January and that we've really only had about five days of cold weather, but I am ready for winter to be over. And I am sure all of those who are covered in ice would agree.

Here's an update on the new gym situation: while I am still in the middle of my trial membership, I am pretty sure I am going to join. It's so nice and quiet. And there are some hot guys to look at. And, the other day, I got on a machine that had a television and I was able to watch Ellen. It was awesome.

Hey, did you guys know it was Girl Scout Cookie time? I am dying to get some. I like the chocolate peanut butter ones best. Now I just have to find a Girl Scout and get some. They don't really go door to door anymore. This is definitely the one time of year that I kind of wish Jack or Logan was a girl. Girl Scout cookies are so much better than Boy Scout popcorn.

Good Funny Weekend Stuff

I've always thought that Jake Gyllenhaal was kind of cute, but the clip below proves that he is also very, very funny.

Go, Jake Go!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmG2gBAcN-8&eurl

I Want to Get Wireless to Let Down My Firewall on Purpose...ok, Not Really, but...

I had a moment this morning; I started listening to a story on NPR on my way to work and I had to stay in my car and listen to the end before I went inside. And I am so glad I did. It stayed with me all day. I felt so bad for David...and Anna ended up sounding like a total bitch.

I am including the link to the story. Give it a listen and tell me what you think. Would you have responded to David's email?

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6809099

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

I Am Thinking of Making a Big Change in My Life

As many of you know, I go to Lifestyles, an all women's gym. I started going there in grad school because it had an awesome deal for students. It's also one of those gyms that once you sign in, you get sucked in because it gets cheaper and cheaper.

But cheaper doesn't mean better.

I am starting to hate Lifestyles. The one close to my house moved and now I have to drive at least 15 minutes to get to the two closest to my house. Second, it's always packed. At one Saturday morning class, I counted 46 people. Third, the people who work there aren't really that nice; and I mean both the people who work the counter and the people who teach the class. And once, I saw an instructor take a break in class to put a new piece of gum in her mouth. That's disgusting…no one wants to hear gum chewing through a microphone. Fourth, the hours suck. It's only open a few hours during the weekend, and it closes early on Friday. I personally wouldn't mind going to the gym on a Friday night. And finally, although the idea of a women's gym sounds great, you know how women can be. There are actual cliques at my gym and if you are an odd person out like me, you stand very alone.

So, a girl I work with is an instructor at another gym. It is coed, and it is considerably more expensive, but it is 3 minutes from my house. And it has a wide variety of classes, a juice bar, a spa and the machines that you can put your headphones into and watch television. The girl I work I with says that there is never more than 25 people in a class and that it's never so busy that you can't get on a machine. And I don't know what their hours are, but if they are open even a little more than Lifestyles, I would consider this a plus.

So, I am going to try a class at the new gym on Saturday and I can get a seven day trial pass and then, well, I might make the switch. What do you all think? Am I being crazy?

What a Day, What a Day

Hey, have any of you ever burned a hard-boiled egg? I did. I fell asleep when I was boiling some eggs and an hour and half later there was not a lot of water left in the pot. And they tasted just as you would imagine...burnt.

So, I have a mild case of the flu. I should be back to good shape by tomorrow. I actually feel much better now. I felt very bad yesterday and I went and bought a thermometer to take my temperature and now I am obsessed with taking my temperature. I've taken it a half a dozen times today...and it is always a little different. It's fascinating.

And finally, it is winter here in Ohio. It is really cold and the flakes are swirling in the air. It is winter...until Thursday...when it goes back to the upper 40's. Anyhoo, cold weather always makes me want ice cream. Perhaps I shall get some.

The Stories That Passed in Front of My Eyes Today

This was the first Sunday in a long time that I was able to kind of lay around and watch tv. I didn't have to hurry up and get ready and go somewhere in the morning. It was nice. But I ended up watching a lot of Lifetime movies.

The first one was about a divorcee who fell in love with her supervisor, who was a woman. Finding out you're a lesbian at the most inopportune time makes for really compelling television.

I took a break from Lifetime to go and jump on the Borat train. That is a really funny movie. Disgusting and so, so wrong on so many levels, but really funny, nonetheless. See it. And then tell me if you saw the fat guy's penis. Even though I saw his balls, I never saw the penis.

Then I came back, armed with a Subway turkey and bacon sandwich with extra banana peppers (my new food obsession) and watched a heartwarming Lifetime movie about a woman who autistic twins and because she never gave up on them, they became an awesome musician and a really fast cross-country runner.

Then I ended my Lifetime streak with the very powerful, She's Too Young. This was about 14 year old girls giving blow jobs and getting syphilis. It reminded me of my own high school experience...just kidding. But seriously, if I ever have kids, I am going to make sure they are the biggest dorks. No one wants to suck a dork's dick or have a dork suck their dick. Pretty much dork and dick don't really belong in the same sentence except for fun adult alliteration.

And that was my Sunday. Now I am just hanging out waiting to go to bed.

Where My Head Has Been

It seems like it has been a long time since I have written here, but it hasn't really. There is something strange about the recovery after a holiday. It feels like I am recovering from a major event or something. And then I never really seem recovered until halfway through January because I have my dad's birthday and now Liam's birthday and then it always seems as though a friend is getting married or having a baby. So I go from buying gifts for Christmas to buying gifts right away for random things.

But the good thing is that I got a raise so I can afford all of these extra things I have to buy.

I got my haircut and I really like it. I actually went out and bought a straightener so my hair can look like how it did when I left the salon. It is the first time in long time that I have an actual hair style. The woman who cut my hair was very enthusiastic about the cut and said that when my hair grows out long (which I am trying to do), it will be beautiful. I really liked her. I would've only just liked her, but she asked me if I was just out of high school, so now I really like her.

I had a really fun New Year. Pretty low key, but lots of laughing and drinking and drinking. I had like, three shots that night. But I don't think they really count because they were fruity, girly shots and I like tough, manly shots. However, after I did the first two, back to back, I was a little more lightheaded than I had been. So maybe girly shots are just as good as manly shots.

I don't know…I might have to test that theory further at a later date.

Ahh, a new year already

On the eve of the eve of New Years Eve, I think not about the past year, but about the year ahead. I don't really make resolutions, because as most of us know, they fail. Besides, if I really want to do something, I do it. I don't f*** around, ya know? But I do have secret hopes and wishes for the new year, which I am not sharing because they are SECRET hopes and wishes.

I'll be interested to see what my life will be like a year from now; if there will be anything majorly different or anything. This year is very, very similar to last year. But the year before last, I was still in grad school. So what I am trying to say now, is who knows.

So I am taking down my Christmas tree today. It is always so sad, I mean, I have all this great stuff and I only get to see it for one month out of the year. But a whiskey and tonic and some Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins is making it a little easier to bear.

Anyhoo, I wish you all the happiest of New Years. And I can't wait to see you all in 2007.