Random Memory Day

When I was in college, I tripped out on some acid on the 4th of July. After the fireworks, my friend Ryan and I were still hanging out outside and this girl came up. I totally forget her name, but she lived up the street and was a little younger than the rest of us and had been sleeping with our friend Mark and she was trouble with a capital T. While she was sleeping with Mark, she was also sleeping with her ex-boyfriend, Clint (I don't know why I remember his name) and about a month before the 4 th of July, she told them both she was pregnant and wanted money for an abortion.

Anyhoo, she came up and she was wasted and mad at Clint, whom she had gotten back together with (and I think she might've been still pregnant…but later we all wondered if that was true at all). She saw her ex-boyfriend walking up the street and she ran into the house. Clint came up and he was wasted too and he looked sad and he asked if we could tell her that he was outside and he wanted to talk to her. Ryan went in to find the girl and I stayed outside with Clint and all of a sudden, Clint bursts into tears and starts telling me how much he loved her and how he just wanted to be with her and how he would forgive her for anything. And then the girl comes out and she starts yelling at him that she hates him and to leave her alone and he yells back that he loves her. Eventually he walks away and she runs after him and they go home.

And I can't even imagine what Ryan and I looked like, but I am sure our eyes were almost completely bugged out and our jaws were probably on the floor, because remember, we were TRIPPING OUT ON ACID.

The girl would eventually move away, but I would see Clint again and he would always be soooo nice to me. I feel kind of bad in hind-site, because there he was crying and pouring his heart out to me and I was totally tripping out. I told that story to Mark several years later. He of course, hated Clint for obvious reasons. But he would say, "Well, at least he was nice to you."

I don't know why I thought of that today.

Bleh

For the past few weeks I have been spelling female, femail. I usually notice and fix it, but I can't stop doing it.

I drank too much last night. I drank too much and then didn't drink any water or eat a snack or anything that I would usually do to make a work day more workable. And I am paying for it today. I wouldn't say it's a horrendous hangover, just a dull ache. And I had to go to the gym today to get my health assessment for the "Slim Down for Summer" program. Ironically enough, the person doing my health assessment is the friend I went out with last night.

Right now I am doing laundry and waiting for an appropriate time to go to bed. I mean, if I went now, I would wake up in the middle of the night, but I do need to go to bed early. And I have a new book to read...I can't wait to go to bed.

Drinking on a weekday makes me feel old.

The Departed

Before I get to the main point of this blog (see title), I have to ask a question. What is up with Sanjaya? So, I don't watch American Idol, but I watch a lot of other tv, so I know who Sanjaya is and what I don't know, is that if people hate him so much, why is he there? His hair scares me.

Ok so back to The Departed. It rocked and I thought I would bullet point why I liked it.

• Mark Wahlberg rocks. He is really funny. And he's a bad ass. And I am pretty sure he knows it.
  
  
• Alec Baldwin. Enough said.
  
  
• I kept saying, "Poor Leo," because Leonardo DiCaprio really gets fucked in this movie. But he's tough and deals and while I have always like Leonardo DiCaprio, I really, really liked him in this.
  
  
• Jack Nicholson looked super old.
  
  
• Did I mention Alec Baldwin?
  
  Today was also my nephew Logan's 8th birthday party. I made him his vanilla on vanilla cake and put Star Wars action figures on it. And I got him Happy Feet. He loved them both. And it was the most heartwarming moment. I love him and his brother. They are the best kids and I hope the kids I might have are half as awesome as them.
  
  It gave me a good layer of love to watch The Departed with.
  
  Alec Baldwin.

And a Belly Full of Pasta

When you guys were just starting out in elementary school, were you graded on handwriting? I was and I got C's. And I was told I held my pen/pencil wrong. Looking back it seems like such a silly ability to grade, because I went on to have nice handwriting. In fact, I have actually been complimented on it. It also seems silly because I don't really judge people on they're writing. I mean, sometimes I have come across people whose writing I can't read, but I just think, "Jeesh, I wish I could read what they were writing."

I wonder if they even grade handwriting anymore. Especially since people use computers and such for everything. I hand-write very little…a check here and there, a card once in a while, a grocery list. If they do still grade handwriting, and if I have a child and he/she brings home a C in handwriting, or even an A for that matter, I am going to tell them it doesn't really matter, it doesn't form their personality and that every other skill is more important. And then I am going to tell them to tell their teacher I said that. And then I will tell the teacher myself at a parent-teacher conference.

I have a new crush at the gym and if you guys saw him, you would be really surprised because he's pretty clean-cut and HUGE. My god, he's got some big guns. He's probably like, 21 and a complete asshole, but he sure is pretty to look at when he runs on the treadmill.

One last thing – I can't even tell you how excited I am to see Blades of Glory. I don't really like Napolean Dynamite, but the one-two punch of Will Ferrell AND Gob from Arrested Development is enough to make me laugh without even seeing it. But I will see it.

Spring Fever

I had a green teani this weekend that was very delicious. It tasted just like green tea. And it was a perfect compliment to my sushi dinner.

I bought some new shirts this weekend. It was kind of weird to try on clothes since I've lost about 16 pounds. I try things on thinking they won't really fit or might not look right, but they do. And then I tried on a pair of old pants last night, a pair of pants that two and half years ago did not fit at all, that a year and a half ago, I could wear, but would have to wear them with a loose shirt to cover how tight they were, but last night, they were a little loose. Anyhoo, I guess the point of this little paragraph is that if you're looking for an esteem booster, lose some weight and go clothes shopping.

It's supposed to be close to 80 degrees today. I started my morning with my freshly ground Costa Rican coffee and it was delicious. Thanks for the grinder Norman, it's awesome. I will never be able to drink pre-ground coffee again.

And I met a sexy, sexy man today; the photographer taking pictures of our showers. I like to picture him in a shower.

Movie Recommendation

I know I give a lot of recommendations here, but I think you all should see "Gates of Heaven." It is a documentary made in 1980 about pet cemetaries. It is hard to explain; maybe bizarre is a good word. But bizarre in an awesome way.

It's a really moving film. It was sad to hear stories about people and their pets and how much they miss them, but it was also sweet to see them honor them.

It's also really funny...unintentionally funny. But it never mocked these people. It's just funny, what some people say. Like to guy who names "the pill" as the main contribution to the rise in pet ownership. Apparently, even though women work and don't have children, they still need to come home and fondle something.

It sounds like a weird movie, and it is. But it is SO worth it.

Do Not Tag Along with Tag-Along Ice Cream

You guys know about those peanut butter girl scout cookies? The ones that are peanut butter covered in chocolate? The ones apparently called Tag-Alongs? Well, the lovely people with the Girl Scouts and the lovely people at Edy's Ice Cream got together to make Tag-Along Ice Cream. If you ever see it, I beg you to run the other way. Do not look that evil carton in the eye.

I made that mistake.

I bought some and I couldn't stop. Well, ok I did. I had enough brains to stop myself around a third of the way in. And when I told myself to stop, I told myself to throw it away immediately.

So now I have a around 2/3 a carton of ice cream melting into my garbage. But I am ok with it. Even with all the starving people everywhere. Let Brangelina help them.

OH weird

It is only 35 degrees outside right now. 24 hours ago it was 70 degrees. Weather is so weird. There was snow on the ground this morning…not much, but enough to piss me off after nearly a week of experiencing nice weather.

So, I like to reflect over things…sometimes, I reflect over what happened a week ago. Yesterday I was reflecting over OKC a little more and I remembered a moment when Norman and I were driving and we saw a homeless guy. A really cute homeless guy and because she knows I like dirty, smelly guys, she mentioned that he probably did smell bad. And at first I said, probably too smelly for me. But then I thought about how much stank I could withstand and thought that maybe the homeless guy wouldn't be too smelly for me. And this made Norman LAUGH.

But Norman, I've thought about it more…and I was reminded of a student I had, who was not homeless, but smelled REALLY bad, and if the hot homeless guy smelled like the student, I wouldn't be able to do it.

Tata for now.

Back in OH

Well, I am back home, back at work, back at boring again.

I had a really good time in OKC, OK. Actually, it was Norman, OK, just outside of OKC, OK. I stayed well-hydrated with Sonic drinks. I slept REALLY good. I had a nice summer day and a nice spring day with thunder and lightning storms. It was also educational. I learned that James Garner and Mickey Mantle are from OK. And that contemporary dance can be boring, strange and cool, sometimes all at the same time. And I learned that I might be getting to airports a tad too early.

It was good to see Norman and Kayz. We laughed a lot. And I will get to see Norman again in about a month. And I am getting ready to write cover letters to jobs in OK, so maybe we'll see each other always soon.

Today it is supposed to be 70 degrees, so it's almost like I didn't really leave OKC, OK weather-wise.

Sad Day

Someone near and dear to our academic hearts died yesterday in Paris.

RIP Jean Baudrillard

He introduced me to what was hyperreal. But his death just seems real.

Several Things...

First of all, I saw Katie Holmes' mom at the mall. I think that I may now officially be six degrees from Kevin Bacon.

I was sick today, not so sick, but I decided not to go to work so I could get lots of rest and hopefully better before my trip OKC, OK. And I do feel better. Knock on wood, it lasts and only gets better.

Lastly, I got an email from a friend from college and it contained a link to her wedding pictures. She looked beautiful and it looked like a lot of fun, but what struck me was that this was at one time, one of my best friends, someone I have still managed to keep in regular touch with in the past six years, and she got married surrounded by a bunch of people I don't know. It was weird, it was almost like looking at a stranger's wedding pictures.

Being sick, but not being too sick, has made me eat a lot today and I actually feel kind of sick. I am going to continue to lie still.

Choose or Spank

I have not made any decisions about who I am voting for in the 2008 presidential election. I mean, it's only early 2007 and a lot can happen in the next 20 months. I mean, I am still holding out a little bit of hope for Bill Richardson from New Mexico. Let the little guy rise to the ranks!

Ok, so obviously, I have thought a little bit about it. And I do have opinions, but I have no idea who I will vote for.

This morning, NPR interviewed Barack Obama and they were talking about someone who defeated him in previous race and Barack said, "He didn't defeat me, he spanked me." And you want to know what? I like that Barack said "spank."

But I hardly think that's a reason to vote for him.

Unless he says "spank" a lot more in the next 20 months.

Have A Weekend as Good as Mine Might Be

I have big, big plans for the weekend. Well, I guess not big, big, but I am looking forward to them. Like tomorrow night I am going to this fundraiser for a friend from work's boyfriend's softball team. It might sound silly or whatever, but I paid $35 and I can drink and eat all night long. Or from the hours of 6 to 12, which is when the fundraiser is. That's cheaper than dinner and drinks.

I also finally get the chance to see the film adaptation of Little Children. I really, really hope it is good. I loved the book so much I would be really disappointed if the movie sucked, but I have not read or heard a bad review so I think it might be ok and that I shouldn't worry.

On Sunday I am finally getting my Christmas massage. I am really excited about that because I love massages. Also on Sunday is my version of the Super Bowl, the Oscars. I don't think it will be as interesting because I think I know who is going to win and there won't be any surprises. But I would like to see the grandpa from Little Miss Sunshine win best supporting actor over Eddie Murphy. Not that Eddie Murphy wasn't good in Dreamgirls, but I like the grandpa better. AND, as Laura I learned a few weeks ago, the grandpa wrote "The Banana Boat" song. Anyhoo, I think the Oscars will be fun to watch because Ellen Degeneres is hosting and I like her. And as I told Laura the other night, I trust her, whereas I don't trust Juliette from Lost and Laura doesn't know who to trust.

I hope my weekend meets or even exceeds my expectations. And I hope all of your's does to.

I Hate The Kid at Best Buy (But Love 2 Week Winters)

Just yesterday I was thinking that while it was not awesome at the time, in hindsight, it was awesome that I literally only experienced two weeks of hardcore winter. Scientists weren't exaggerating about how global warming was making winter shorter. Anyhoo, I definitely think I spoke too soon because we are supposed to have snow next Monday. As of now I don't think it is supposed to be anything major, but if I've learned anything from these hard two weeks of winter, it is that weather can change in a second.

Last night I had to go to Best Buy to get a new charger for my iPod and the kid who was helping me made some lame joke about me wanting to strangle my kids. I'll tell you what kid I did want to strangle…THAT KID! Excuse me, but do I look like somebody's mother? Do I look like two somebody's mother? Do I have a mom haircut? I definitely wasn't wearing mom jeans. Why would buying an iPod charger make me somebody's mother? Thinking about it now is depressing. I am not even 30. Uh, I am never going to Best Buy again. And I am going to wish that kid ill will.

Weekends

My beautiful graduation watch is dead and not even a battery will bring it back to life. Oh, I can have it fixed...for $70, but I think it would probably cost just as much to get a new watch. RIP watch.

I had some fun with my boys this weekend. Jack is so tough, but has the cutest little face and voice. And Logan is way too smart for his own good. Well, I guess they both are really. I spent almost five dollars on two miniature bottles of grape and orange Crush that was actually filled with grape and orange Crush flavored jelly beans. It's a good thing I am just an aunt and only see them every couple of weeks or so. I would go broke keeping them in the lifestyle of which they have become accustomed to.

I saw a pretty good movie on Friday. It's called Half Nelson and it's about a junior high history teacher, who's a really good teacher, but does cocaine and smokes crack at night. The story really begins when one of his students catches him high in the bathroom. Sounds weird, but I thought about it for a long time after it was done. The guy who plays the teacher is really good, but the young girl is really, really good. Check it out one day if you get the chance.

I am excited to hear that the weather is going to get warmer, but that means there won't be snow days and I won't be able to use the cold weather as an excuse to be lazy.

Death Becomes Denny

I did some flipping last night. I flipped between Scrubs and 30 Rock and Grey's Anatomy. Let me recap what I saw on Grey's Anatomy (because that is what I saw the least of): Yang mad at Meredith because she wasn't there; Izzie drilling holes in the guy's head (and perhaps a glimmer of admiration/attraction in McSteamy's eyes when he was listening to her over the phone); Addison wondering if anyone would miss her if she was almost crushed to death by a pole; Izzie saying she was a rock star; McDreamy emerging from the water with a very blue Meredith; Alex saying he would miss Addison if she was almost crushed to death by a pole; the attendings working to bring Meredith back from the dead and Meredith waking up and finding out she was dead.

I might go to television hell for saying this, but I was kind of glad that 30 Rock ends a few minutes before Grey's Anatomy because I liked being surprised by the exploded guy and Denny Duquette in heaven. And is it just me, or does Denny look really good dead? I mean, I always thought he was hot, but there was something in the 20 seconds he was onscreen last night that made me mad they killed him off.

I think that I am going to have to watch it again tonight. Sounds like a lame way to start the weekend, and it probably is, but it's cold and I am getting up early tomorrow to go to the gym, so there.

Have a good weekend, y'all.

You Can't Say I Am Not Determined

The weather is pretty bad. It's cold and snowing and the wind is blowing, causing big drifts. It is so bad that we were actually sent home from work. And you want to know what I did when I got off? I went to the gym! I thought, what the heck, I'll do it now before the roads get really, really bad.

So now I am home and I think there is a 50 percent chance I won't see my car tomorrow. There is so much snow coming down and blowing about, I think it will be completely covered. I figure in the mean time, I'll just do some laundry and drink some wine.

Yay for snow days. They rock even more when you're 29.

UPDATE: There is a blizzard warning. The last time there was a blizzard warning was 1978. We are under a level 2 alert, which means, don't go out if you don't have to. Wow, the weather is baaaad. Laura's got ice; so pretty much, Ohio sucks right now. BGSU actually closed for the first time in four years.
I can barely see Reynolds Road. It's crazy.







UPDATE 2:














This is out my front door.





This is out my back door. Usually you can see the Toys R Us sign.

Wow.

I Love 30 Rock...Do You?

Last night was another four-star episode of 30 Rock. People, really, you need to give it a shot. Quit saying things like, “Oh it sounds funny.” Or, “It’s awesome that you like it.” WATCH IT.

I listen to a lot of NPR. I learn a lot from NPR. I learn about history. I learn about books (one of my favorite books from last year, Triangle, I heard about on NPR). I learn about music ( I was able to download a live Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins show from their website) and I learn about movies (especially documentaries…just this morning I added a film to my Netflix list. It’s called Gates of Heaven and it is a documentary about pet cemeteries). I also learn a little about television.

Now before I give my parenthetical example of the television show I learned about on NPR, let me tell you that I have never liked Sarah Silverman. She always plays the same characters in movies…a serious bitch. I’ve seen her in some other comedy shows and she was always too in-your-face for me. But I heard a story on NPR about her and her new show on Comedy Central. And it sounded so different. So I checked it out last night and well…it was pretty funny. Not funny enough that I am going to plead with you to watch it like 30 Rock (see above AGAIN), but funny enough to say it was funny enough.

And before I check out for the weekend, can I get a R.I.P for Anna Nicole Smith. Good lord, what a bad end to a bad year.

30 ROCK – THURSDAYS at 9:30 on NBC – Skip Grey’s until Friday night and watch 30 ROCK. God will let you into heaven if you do.

IT'S F****** COLD

I am a firm believer in returning your grocery cart to the cart coral. It's the easiest, nicest thing you can do. Unless it's 15 below zero. Then I put it wherever is closest to my car door.

It's too cold to recycle or even take my trash to the dumpster. So as you can tell, my kitchen looks disgusting.

It's so cold, schools are already posting delays and closing for tomorrow. In certain moments today, I would've given up all the sex, drugs and rock and roll I ever experienced to be a kid and stay home.

And there is nothing colder than putting on gym clothes that you have kept in your car all day. Nothing, I say.

It's cold. I am running out of sweaters.

I Think I Woke Up With Restless Leg Syndrome Last Night

Yeah, at like 1 in the morning, my legs were twitchy and I couldn't get comfortable, but then I just fell back asleep. I hope I don't have Restless Leg Syndrome because it sounds so silly. It would be kind of embarrassing to admit. The only disease more embarrassing to admit that you have is Irritable Bowel Syndrome. And my apologies go out to you if you have IBS, but if I had it, I wouldn't admit it. In fact, I might have it now, but none of you will ever know.

It is getting cold here…really cold. Yesterday when the weatherman said it could possibly get to 30 below zero with the wind chill, I didn't think I heard him right. But it was confirmed this morning…30 BELOW ZERO. That is like scary cold. That is like, going outside and having limbs immediately snap off because it is so cold, cold. That is like, not really want to do anything, kind of cold, which is hard when you have to go and work and to the gym and stuff. Although I bet just standing outside for a minute would burn a lot of calories because my body would have to work so hard to stay warm.

Also, while we're all here, I would like some opinions. If you had a job, but interviewed for a new, perhaps cooler job, and they asked you why you wanted to leave your old job, what would you say? You don't want to make your last job sound as bad as it may have been. You also don't want to look like a crazy person who is going to switch jobs every few years. So what do you say?