Getting Older

30 came and went, so did 31, and although I realized I was getting older, 32 hit me like a ton of bricks.

Perhaps it was because there were elderly reminders all day long. In one class we talked about how as we age, how we see color changes and how we taste changes (apparently old people over-salt and sugar their food because they can't taste as well). I saw a woman wearing an oxygen tank. I saw a woman using a walker. These hit close to home because I have a sweet tooth and a history of diabetes in my family. I also am a smoker. I also have parents that have had knees and hips replaced.

I'm scared.

Not of really getting older, obviously I've always known this is going to happen. And everything I mentioned above most likely won't affect too much for another 25-30 years. But I am definitely at an age where I have to take these issues into consideration. I need to start eating better (which I literally have been doing since Tuesday - lots of vegetables and non-processed foods). I should quit smoking (but I like to smoke...even when I didn't smoke that much, I enjoyed it. I think I will start cutting back). I should just overall take better care of my body. I do exercise regularly. I am not the worst eater in the world (I have bad days and moments where I overindulge). But I don't want to be a woman who is in bad health early in her aging process. My mother was/is like this and it sucks to see a relatively young, older woman have the issues of a much older woman.

I also don't want to turn gray, get wrinkles and sag, although this is all happening anyway. But I can help that...hair dye, Preparation H, weight training. Ahh!

Basically, I know the old adage is you're only as young as you feel, and on the inside, I feel young. But this is the year that it hit me; I'm not technically as young as I feel.

And it sucks.