I am taking the plunge…I am going to the eye doctor this week. I have no vision insurance so I was putting it off, but I am tired of squinting and getting headaches that stem from my eyes. I am getting the whole kit and caboodle…glasses and contacts. So hopefully in a few weeks I will have headaches from being able to see too good.
I have been getting ready to do my company's holiday newsletter and it reminded me of the holiday form letter that people put in their Christmas cards. Do any of you get them? Please don't tell me you send them…those letters are a huge pet peeve for me. They are so impersonal and insincere and I didn't think the holidays were a time for insincerity, except for when you get a present you don't like and have to act like you do ("Oh my gosh, thanks for the mounted fish that talks…I LOVE it."). Besides, these letters are usually filled with information I don't care about. So what, so your 12 year old son's soccer team came in 7 th in the league? When I read that, I think, "Wow, what a loser."
David Sedaris has this great story written like one of those letters called, "Seasons Greetings to Our Family and Friends" and it is hilarious. It is featured in both Holidays on Ice and Barrel Fever. I highly recommend it. And trust me, it is so much better than reading an actual form letter.
6 comments:
This will make you laugh...tell me...is that Donnie Osmond as a background dancer?
http://www.tooshocking.com/index.php?ns=view_vid&id=1942
I was planning on sending a holiday letter. You really don't care that Norman had a butt sore? Damn. That's a great fact.
That was totally Donny Osmand...that was funny. It reminded me of that episode of Arrested Development and Michael gave George Michael Quicken for his birthday, and George Michael wants the receipt to deduct it.
And Norman, why are you talking about yourself in third person? Although that kind of information might make a letter interesting. If you include a picture. Ooooh, make the picture the Christmas card itself.
OOOoooo pic. There should still be enough gooey flesh to make it a great picture.
Puts a WHOLE new meaning on have a HOLY xmas, yes?
Put a wreath around it!
Wa hahahahahhhahah. Geez. Now I have to go pee.
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